she asked fh is I was taking any of my girls with me to look at bm dresses when we come down this weekend
well i wasnt taking anyone until he and i decided on three to five choices they could pick from but now that shes mentioned that...im debating if im a horrible bride to not want my bp to be involved at all
i just want them to buy the dress and show up to be in the pictures that day so i dont look like a looser who has no friends to be moh/bm
is it really bad that i want to do this alone?
Happybride2005
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Re: dilemma- am i a horrible bride?
u do what u feel is right...its your day.
for my girls....i picked the color and they showed the dress they liked in the color
angelbear217
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Re: dilemma- am i a horrible bride?
You should have at least one so you could have her try it on to test body type and color. Sometimes you need to see them on someone to really get a feel for what they look like. I know how it feels to want to do things alone, it is easier that way. But, maybe having someone model will make the decision a lot easier.
GoingNutty
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Re: dilemma- am i a horrible bride?
I picked out a bunch and then showed the girls pix... We went out and tried as many as we could find and anything they liked that I also liked... In the end we picked one of the ones I choose. My biggest thing was that I wanted them to be comfortable...
It's your wedding, you should do it how you want!!
JPC1125
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Re: dilemma- am i a horrible bride?
i guess im just thinking that im ruining the experience for them...they seem excited but neither one has called or even emailed me about anything wedding related but is that because I havent asked for their involvement yet?
i feel guilty for doing the whole 'my day my way' thing
jesslangen
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Re: dilemma- am i a horrible bride?
For me....I wanted them a part of it. I told them the color it had to be and then they were allowed to pick any dress they liked. I picked from them
May05Bride
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Re: dilemma- am i a horrible bride?
I think since its your day, your wedding and BMs are just there to support you, you are doing the right thing. If you get your BP to choose, you will have more headache than results! Everyone will like a different dress and it will take you forever. This way, it eliminates that. I think you are doing the right thing.
KimberlyBride
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Re: dilemma- am i a horrible bride?
You are not a horrible bride!!!
Why do you feel guilty?
JPC1125
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Re: dilemma- am i a horrible bride?
im more of a worrier about others than for myself i guess...i feel guilty that by doing it my way i might be ruining it for them...i know it makes no sense
im just emotional and crazy and probably a lot tired by now LOL
tomorrow ill be like 'why did i post that?'
KimberlyBride
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Re: dilemma- am i a horrible bride?
It's okay Jenn. We all go through that. I think you need to read the Dr. Phill book 'Self Matters.' Really helps you be true to yourself and not be a people pleaser. I know I have no problem saying no.
JPC1125
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Re: dilemma- am i a horrible bride?
Thanks Kim! you really know what to say to make me feel better.
Dr. Phill is da bomb! Ive been watching his show all week since I've been home but I have yet to read the book. Maybe its time!
littlebookworm4
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Re: dilemma- am i a horrible bride?
I took one of my girls and picked out a few and then let the rest come.
takeoutcook
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Re: dilemma- am i a horrible bride?
Heck no you're not being a bad bride! I've been a bridesmaid a lot of times and have rarely gone to look at dresses. It's never bothered me either way.
brooklynbridezilla
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Re: dilemma- am i a horrible bride?
Nah, I'd appreciate having a few to choose from. That way I get a better idea of your taste and how you'd want the BM's to look.
Sep05bride
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Re: dilemma- am i a horrible bride?
You should bring at least one person. The dress might look beautiful on the rack but on someone it might not look that great! It's better to have their input too. It makes the process less stressful. I had my whole bridal party with me. They picked out the dress I picked out the color. It worked out quite nicley. But you have to do what makes you happy
halfpintny
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Re: dilemma- am i a horrible bride?
I brought all three of my girls with me and I wish I could say it went smoothly. All three of them had different opinions about things and we were there for about 2 1/2 hours trying every single dress on. In the end we all wound up loving the dress but it certainly wasn't an easy process. However it is very true that you really need to see someone IN the dress. There were dresses I had pre-picked that looked fabulous on the hanger but looked horrific on my girls.
JPC1125
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Re: dilemma- am i a horrible bride?
after talking it through today with my fmil and fgmil....i think in two weeks, i will take my moh first and with her trying them on, narrow the choices down to 5 dresses from one particular line and then go back the next week with her and my bm to decide which one they want (could be different as long as its the same color)
then id go back again with jr bm to get measured for her dress since i dont want her throwing a fit when she realizes her sister is trying on dresses but there arent any for her to try on
hope this plan of attack works
katieshope
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Re: dilemma- am i a horrible bride?
For me, I wanted my girls to be involved in picking the dresses, I wanted them all to be comfortable with what I chose.
jeanla4c
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Re: dilemma- am i a horrible bride?
Of course not...it's up to you and what you think works best...I just had my sister/MOH try on the BM dresses since she has the hardest body type to fit and I wanted her to feel good!
