FH is going to Vegas next weekend for his bparty and the one thing I asked hm was for no private stripper (AKA prostitutes). I told him to feel free to go to as many strip clubs as he wanted but I didn't want any of that going on in their rooms. He just told me that one of the guys rented a suite for the actual bparty. I got upset and told him that was the one thing I asked him not to do and he said, 'well I didn't plan it, so too bad.' He is on the top of my sh!t list right now!
Stefanie
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Re: disappointed in FH
You always think the worst and play out every possible thing that could happen in your head...it's the WORST!! When my DH went to a Bachelor party there was a stripper that was coming around he told the girl no thanks and got up...she didn't push herself on him or grope him. If they are having girls in the suite...their um...pimp...guard...whatever will be in short distance if the other boys get out of hand. Also I'd rather my husband watching two girls than be seduced by one. Guys....they're all visual...
Bunnymonkey
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Re: disappointed in FH
I'd flip at him not for the fact that there are strippers, but for the kind of answer he gave you. That's the lame part.
Tell him you will have male strippers at your private party-see how it makes him feel.
dita531
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Re: disappointed in FH
I would probably consider calling off the wedding if he pulled that sh** on me.
I do not want strippers at my bachlerette party and I sure as hell don't want him having them either. I think that strippers have no place in the wedding process. I don't care what he did before we were together but it sure as hell is not going to happen now. I want him to have fun get drunk spend money do whatever but a bachlor party is not a license for inappropriate behavior or to be single for a night. I'm sure many of you want them and are ok with it and that is fine this is just my opinion.
As far as this 'too bad' crap goes this is just a cop out. They always blame their friends for the bad things that happen at bachelor parties. I'm sorry but they can still think for themselves. I think you had better have a talk with your FH and have him take this a little more seriously. He knows whats going to happen and it sounds like he does not want to take responsibility for it. Don't procrastinate on this one- you two need to reach and aggreement that you are both comfortable with. Maybe you'll have to compromise, that's what marriage is all about but one of you can't just say 'too bad'.
dita531
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Re: disappointed in FH
Posted by Stefanie
You always think the worst and play out every possible thing that could happen in your head...it's the WORST!! When my DH went to a Bachelor party there was a stripper that was coming around he told the girl no thanks and got up...she didn't push herself on him or grope him. If they are having girls in the suite...their um...pimp...guard...whatever will be in short distance if the other boys get out of hand. Also I'd rather my husband watching two girls than be seduced by one. Guys....they're all visual...
You have to understand, this is how these girls make their money. They need to be pushy, like a salesperson.
pinky424
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Re: disappointed in FH
I would be very upset too. I wouldn't be able to handle that. You have to believe in your heart that he will not do anything. Trust him. Tell him that you are nervous with all the pressure that the other guys are going to give you. You don't want him to give in. That this was not the agreement between the two of you. I feel so horrible. What are you doing for you bparty?
EvenEdan
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Re: disappointed in FH
Posted by nferrandi
I got upset and told him that was the one thing I asked him not to do and he said, 'well I didn't plan it, so too bad.'
Oh no! No, no, no, no, no! That response is unacceptable! The disrespect! The insensitivity! I am furious for you! All hell would be breaking loose in my house. I don't have a problem with the strippers, but the disregard for your feelings and your worries is just PLAIN WRONG! Talk to him!
goingtobemrs
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Re: disappointed in FH
I'd be upset about it too. I don't like the 'too bad' part. He can always make hte rules, after all, it is his night. Thank god my FH isn't into that...anymore...he didn't go to his friends bachelor party recently because it is a waste of money, and he doesn't want dirty girls near him. His friends on the other hand...some of them didn't go to his brother's combined party, because there would be no strippers. So stupid. The party is about the person getting married, not the friends. They all seem to forget that. My FH's brother, who has the same views as him is planning his so I'm not worried about that. I think both bachelor AND bachelorette parties are so over-rated. Especially with the strippers, what is the point????
NPbride
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Re: disappointed in FH
Posted by EvenEdan
Posted by nferrandi
I got upset and told him that was the one thing I asked him not to do and he said, 'well I didn't plan it, so too bad.'
Oh no! No, no, no, no, no! That response is unacceptable! The disrespect! The insensitivity! I am furious for you! All hell would be breaking loose in my house. I don't have a problem with the strippers, but the disregard for your feelings and your worries is just PLAIN WRONG! Talk to him!
I wasn't going to provide any input but I totally agree with this. That is exteremely disrespectful. This needs to be straightened out immediately. He needs a serious talking to! Sorry you have to deal with this!
bluetank
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Re: disappointed in FH
Dont worry about it. Easier said than done but try to keep busy over the weekend. He will be fine. He will be thinking of you the whole time.
goingtobemrs
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Re: disappointed in FH
He will be thinking of how you are going to kick his as% when he gets home! . Don't stress. What is done is done, if you trust him...then that is all that matters.
shelly3950
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Re: disappointed in FH
Posted by lyndak677
Posted by EvenEdan
Posted by nferrandi
I got upset and told him that was the one thing I asked him not to do and he said, 'well I didn't plan it, so too bad.'
Oh no! No, no, no, no, no! That response is unacceptable! The disrespect! The insensitivity! I am furious for you! All hell would be breaking loose in my house. I don't have a problem with the strippers, but the disregard for your feelings and your worries is just PLAIN WRONG! Talk to him!
I wasn't going to provide any input but I totally agree with this. That is exteremely disrespectful. This needs to be straightened out immediately. He needs a serious talking to! Sorry you have to deal with this!
I agree. To me, that is the biggest issue.
As for strippers- I don't worry too much. I had a stripper at my BP and other than watching a naked man, I didn't do anything else I wouldn't do in front of him. In fact, FH saw the stripper as we were leaving for the club (he came home as we were leaving)
If you trust him, you trust him. If you don't. There are bigger issues there. However, if you don't think anything will happen, no matter how much alcohol there is in the world, if he wouldn't do it sober, he won't do it drunk at his bachelor party. These things are more for the single friends anyway.
goingtobemrs
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Re: disappointed in FH
My situation is that I'm worried about what some of his dirtbag friends will be doing (drugs) and hope he won't pick up an old habit he kicked for the night! I guess that is where trust comes in.
Spitzergirl
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Re: disappointed in FH
Don't worry, he won't misbehave...
Don't think, too much about it, you will go nuts before your wedding day.
nferrandi
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Re: disappointed in FH
Posted by tp329
He will be thinking of how you are going to kick his as% when he gets home!
He's insane if that's what he's expecting! lol! The more I think about, the more pissed I am over his reaction. That's a really bad attitude for him to have. He CAN NOT and WILL NOT go into our marriage thinking that he can brush me off like that.
marymoon
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Re: disappointed in FH
So tell him you absolutely won't accept it, and he'll have to tell his friends to cancel the strippers. get some booze and rent pornos or go out to a club instead. End of story. Similar thing happenned to my BIL. He said no strippers, his brother disregarded that and had a stripper and BIL walked out. It's as simple as that. It's about FH, not about his buddies having an excuse to act out thier fantasies, which is what it can really turn into (especially if they're married...this is their only excuse to do that). Anyway, that's what I would do. Then again, I'm someone who really alys down the law about certain things. I'm very undertstaning, but in a case like this, I would say 'no way, under no circumstances..the end'
marymoon
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Re: disappointed in FH
Yeah, I should have really mentioned that what's really bad is thye fact that he can disregard your feelings and do what all men are so great at, blame someone else, and shrug it off. What I really wanted to get at in my last post was that even if his firneds planned for strippers, etc, he doesn't have to participate and he can and should say no and keep his promise to you. My mom always says what you seeis what you get, and things don't get better, if anything they get worse once you're married (in reference to FH's bad qualities), so if you set a precedent now that he can use other people as scapegoats and break promises, it's what you're going to be faced with always. I would DEFINITELY talk to FH and come to a resolution on this, or it's something that's going to come back to haunt you. Good Luck
okay, sorry to get off topic but when did bachelor and bachelorettes get so out of control???????? I mean Vegas for a bachelor party? I have never heard of vacation bachelor, bachelorette parties till I started posting on this site. I think that it is too much to have to go away for that long for a bachelor or bachelorette to begin with and I think you have a reason to be upset with him.
CubanBride
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Re: disappointed in FH
My FH is the opposite. I told him he could go to all the strip clubs and have all the private dances he wants, but he just won't do it.
I feel for you. If its something that bothers you then I can understand how you would be upset. You just have to trust that he will respect your relationship.
RE: Vegas BP... I was planning on goin to Vegas for my BP party, but instead, we have decided to go stay at the Royal Pacific hotel at Universal Studios in Orlando. 4-5 crazy girls with no men? Woohoooo! Can I start the drinking now?
nferrandi
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Re: disappointed in FH
FH tried to call me and play nice and tell me I don't have anything to worry about and then he tells me 'not to be that girl!' If I was 'that girl' he wouldn't even have my approval to go to strip clubs. I think I'm very lenient and let him do whatever he wants, but I have to draw a line somewhere.
jvs77
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Re: disappointed in FH
I think I would be most upset and offended with the 'too bad' and 'not to be that girl' comments. As some of the ladies have already mentioned, 'too bad' is a complete brush off and disregard for your thoughts and feelings and 'not to be that girl'...that sounds like a controlling statement to me, as though he is trying to get you to behave in a certain way by making you feel guilty or ashamed of your feelings.
Personally, I would not want my FH in a hotel suite with strippers. 'Look but don't touch' in a reputable strip club is the most I would feel comfortable with, but that's just me. The comments, however, I find even more upsetting.
I would definitely talk to him about the whole situation, and if the comments upset you, definitely discuss them too.
