do u think this is out of line...

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Posted by yelley77

Personally, I wouldn't. Although you two are close, that is her SON. I don't think it is a great idea to vent your frustrations with FH to her. I don't see it having any positive outcome.

JMO

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I tend to agree. I am very close with FMIL however, i feel that stuff like that is should be left between you and your FH. I do not vent to my family members or even my friends when it is something serious and personal between the 2 of us. Silly things, sure, but not important relationship stuff. I feel that down the road that stuff could bite you in the @ss.

I talk to FMIL sometimes about stuff. But it has to be pretty major in order for me to let her in on it. She says im the 'only one' who can handle him...lol. I would tell her more but Im always afraid somehow its going to come back and bite me in the a$$..

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Posted by florezpeeps

personally, i say nooooooooo, i admire and think its great that you have a wonderful relationship with fmil and can consider going to her, but this sets an awful presidence for how things will be handled within your relationship with fh...you are the beginning of his new family and you will have many other disagreements over the years so you have to set your ways of resolving together without her opinion or knowing~

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i still handle the situation with Joe, but joe also tells his mom everything so she knows when theres a problem, i dont tell her anything she doesn't already know lol. When something is wrong with Joe she knows and she talks to me about how we can both help him. Alot of it is just helping me understand better and just comforting about the situation.

i doubt he tells his mom anything... not sure how he would feel about it if he knew i talked to her.

if i do talk to her about it i will be very careful.. i am not going to talk bad about him.... honestly its more about the whole situation because unfortunately, i feel its not the last time its going to happen. right now i feel like a psycho. i really rather seek her advice over my friends because she knows him better than anybody.

in the past i expressed my feelings & she was very comforting.

ugh... decisions decisions

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Posted by florezpeeps

personally, i say nooooooooo, i admire and think its great that you have a wonderful relationship with fmil and can consider going to her, but this sets an awful presidence for how things will be handled within your relationship with fh...you are the beginning of his new family and you will have many other disagreements over the years so you have to set your ways of resolving together without her opinion or knowing~

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Helen, I absolutely agree!!!!

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Posted by yelley77

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by shoegal68

thanks... she really makes me feel better... i may ask her to go coffee tonight... my fh works nights..

i really have nothing to lose... feel like crap right now.

i feel soo mean & don't like using this word but i HATE this one friend... he always causes problems. & is such a user. for the life me i don't know why everybody kisses his butt !!

---

it depends on who she is, some girls say be careful what you say and its true but you know her and know what you can say...Honestly when i talk to FH's mom shes the one who will be like NOOOO dont take that, let him learn his lesson, and even when i say something like OH i feel bad bc he said this and it made me think, and she'll be like NO its what he says to manipulate the situation i know him and know that he does this lol...Shes just the type to be like they are my sons but i will never take their sides when they're wrong just bc of that, and she has ALWAYS been like that and FH always says how she never takes his side, she is the same way with FH's bro's gf. My situation is a bit different bc my FH has a condition(is that even the right word) so its a bit different bc she knows about this more than I do and how everyone else will handle a situation, you have to handle it different with someone who goes through what he does so i honestly needed alot of help understanding this and she was the one who really helped me, yes i couldve gone to others which i spoke to 2 close friends about but they dont know about this as much as she does.

I dont sit there and put him down, I'll just tell her what happened and how i feel about it but i never bad mouth or anyting like that, only bc i dont want to so not like i have to watch myself around her, i dont bad mouth him to my friends either i just say the situation as is.

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Denise made a GREAT point, she said, 'I don't sit there adn put him down'. You have to be able to just talk to her about the situation, rather than, say, 'FH is ___________ and he does this ___________ on purpose, etc'

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I think that is a good point.. if you are going to talk to your FMIL you have to make sure that you are just asking what you should do and not complaing that FH never...... and he can be so ..... I know if his mother said stuff like that to me about him i would be upset.

I personally still don't go to FMIL over relationship stuff, and I dont go to my mother. FH and i work it out. I feel that after 8years of being together, I think i know FH better than his mom does. Yes she raised him, but hes a MAN now, hes not a baby, PLUS my FH isnt the type who talks to his mom about relationship stuff, so she doesnt know him in THAT way, like i know him.

But that is just my FH.
My relationship with FMIL is very close, we talk all the time, and she calls me before she calls him. I always know whats going on in his family before he does, but i rather keep our personal stuff between the 2of us.

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Posted by shoegal68

i doubt he tells his mom anything... not sure how he would feel about it if he knew i talked to her.

if i do talk to her about it i will be very careful.. i am not going to talk bad about him.... honestly its more about the whole situation because unfortunately, i feel its not the last time its going to happen. right now i feel like a psycho. i really rather seek her advice over my friends because she knows him better than anybody.

in the past i expressed my feelings & she was very comforting.

ugh... decisions decisions

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In the end, it's your decision whether youshould talk to your MIL..... no matter what anyone says on here, do whay you think is best

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Posted by jgl

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Posted by yelley77

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by shoegal68

thanks... she really makes me feel better... i may ask her to go coffee tonight... my fh works nights..

i really have nothing to lose... feel like crap right now.

i feel soo mean & don't like using this word but i HATE this one friend... he always causes problems. & is such a user. for the life me i don't know why everybody kisses his butt !!

---

it depends on who she is, some girls say be careful what you say and its true but you know her and know what you can say...Honestly when i talk to FH's mom shes the one who will be like NOOOO dont take that, let him learn his lesson, and even when i say something like OH i feel bad bc he said this and it made me think, and she'll be like NO its what he says to manipulate the situation i know him and know that he does this lol...Shes just the type to be like they are my sons but i will never take their sides when they're wrong just bc of that, and she has ALWAYS been like that and FH always says how she never takes his side, she is the same way with FH's bro's gf. My situation is a bit different bc my FH has a condition(is that even the right word) so its a bit different bc she knows about this more than I do and how everyone else will handle a situation, you have to handle it different with someone who goes through what he does so i honestly needed alot of help understanding this and she was the one who really helped me, yes i couldve gone to others which i spoke to 2 close friends about but they dont know about this as much as she does.

I dont sit there and put him down, I'll just tell her what happened and how i feel about it but i never bad mouth or anyting like that, only bc i dont want to so not like i have to watch myself around her, i dont bad mouth him to my friends either i just say the situation as is.

---

Denise made a GREAT point, she said, 'I don't sit there adn put him down'. You have to be able to just talk to her about the situation, rather than, say, 'FH is ___________ and he does this ___________ on purpose, etc'

---

I think that is a good point.. if you are going to talk to your FMIL you have to make sure that you are just asking what you should do and not complaing that FH never...... and he can be so ..... I know if his mother said stuff like that to me about him i would be upset.

I personally still don't go to FMIL over relationship stuff, and I dont go to my mother. FH and i work it out. I feel that after 8years of being together, I think i know FH better than his mom does. Yes she raised him, but hes a MAN now, hes not a baby, PLUS my FH isnt the type who talks to his mom about relationship stuff, so she doesnt know him in THAT way, like i know him.

But that is just my FH.
My relationship with FMIL is very close, we talk all the time, and she calls me before she calls him. I always know whats going on in his family before he does, but i rather keep our personal stuff between the 2of us.

---

Absolutely. Once you tell something to a parent of friend, they don't foget it. I don't know if I read it in a poem, or card, but a mother was speaking about her children and she was talking about marriage and her daughter and said, 'be careful daughter of what you tell me, for you may forgive him whoeheartedly, but as your mother, I will never forget' I think that is so true. If you run to your friends and family whenever bad things happen, they begin to think that it is a bad relationship.

did that make ANY sense? LOL

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Posted by shoegal68

i doubt he tells his mom anything... not sure how he would feel about it if he knew i talked to her.

if i do talk to her about it i will be very careful.. i am not going to talk bad about him.... honestly its more about the whole situation because unfortunately, i feel its not the last time its going to happen. right now i feel like a psycho. i really rather seek her advice over my friends because she knows him better than anybody.

in the past i expressed my feelings & she was very comforting.

ugh... decisions decisions

---

Oh FH doesn't know, well you know him so know whether he would like that or not...FH knows and he even jokes around like OH now you two will be going crazy with the emails tomorrow lol.

lol ... yes it did... i guess i just want re-assurance that i am not a nut. well i will think about it.
this week we may have some wedding stuff to do. she has been a big help with that. so i'll see.

i definetely will be careful & not to trash him..also, she happens to know this friend very well, so i thought she can give me tips on how to handle this idiot.

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by shoegal68

i doubt he tells his mom anything... not sure how he would feel about it if he knew i talked to her.

if i do talk to her about it i will be very careful.. i am not going to talk bad about him.... honestly its more about the whole situation because unfortunately, i feel its not the last time its going to happen. right now i feel like a psycho. i really rather seek her advice over my friends because she knows him better than anybody.

in the past i expressed my feelings & she was very comforting.

ugh... decisions decisions

---

Oh FH doesn't know, well you know him so know whether he would like that or not...FH knows and he even jokes around like OH now you two will be going crazy with the emails tomorrow lol.

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I agree with Denise. I think if your FH doesnt know that could create more problems. thats def something to consider.

haha denise my FH is the same way, since i always know everything before he does haha

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Posted by yelley77

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Posted by jgl

---

Posted by yelley77

---

Posted by Espo22

---

Posted by shoegal68

thanks... she really makes me feel better... i may ask her to go coffee tonight... my fh works nights..

i really have nothing to lose... feel like crap right now.

i feel soo mean & don't like using this word but i HATE this one friend... he always causes problems. & is such a user. for the life me i don't know why everybody kisses his butt !!

---

it depends on who she is, some girls say be careful what you say and its true but you know her and know what you can say...Honestly when i talk to FH's mom shes the one who will be like NOOOO dont take that, let him learn his lesson, and even when i say something like OH i feel bad bc he said this and it made me think, and she'll be like NO its what he says to manipulate the situation i know him and know that he does this lol...Shes just the type to be like they are my sons but i will never take their sides when they're wrong just bc of that, and she has ALWAYS been like that and FH always says how she never takes his side, she is the same way with FH's bro's gf. My situation is a bit different bc my FH has a condition(is that even the right word) so its a bit different bc she knows about this more than I do and how everyone else will handle a situation, you have to handle it different with someone who goes through what he does so i honestly needed alot of help understanding this and she was the one who really helped me, yes i couldve gone to others which i spoke to 2 close friends about but they dont know about this as much as she does.

I dont sit there and put him down, I'll just tell her what happened and how i feel about it but i never bad mouth or anyting like that, only bc i dont want to so not like i have to watch myself around her, i dont bad mouth him to my friends either i just say the situation as is.

---

Denise made a GREAT point, she said, 'I don't sit there adn put him down'. You have to be able to just talk to her about the situation, rather than, say, 'FH is ___________ and he does this ___________ on purpose, etc'

---

I think that is a good point.. if you are going to talk to your FMIL you have to make sure that you are just asking what you should do and not complaing that FH never...... and he can be so ..... I know if his mother said stuff like that to me about him i would be upset.

I personally still don't go to FMIL over relationship stuff, and I dont go to my mother. FH and i work it out. I feel that after 8years of being together, I think i know FH better than his mom does. Yes she raised him, but hes a MAN now, hes not a baby, PLUS my FH isnt the type who talks to his mom about relationship stuff, so she doesnt know him in THAT way, like i know him.

But that is just my FH.
My relationship with FMIL is very close, we talk all the time, and she calls me before she calls him. I always know whats going on in his family before he does, but i rather keep our personal stuff between the 2of us.

---

Absolutely. Once you tell something to a parent of friend, they don't foget it. I don't know if I read it in a poem, or card, but a mother was speaking about her children and she was talking about marriage and her daughter and said, 'be careful daughter of what you tell me, for you may forgive him whoeheartedly, but as your mother, I will never forget' I think that is so true. If you run to your friends and family whenever bad things happen, they begin to think that it is a bad relationship.

did that make ANY sense? LOL

---

yes that made a lot of sense.. my grand ma always used to tell me soemthing like that.

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Posted by shoegal68

lol ... yes it did... i guess i just want re-assurance that i am not a nut. well i will think about it.
this week we may have some wedding stuff to do. she has been a big help with that. so i'll see.

i definetely will be careful & not to trash him..also, she happens to know this friend very well, so i thought she can give me tips on how to handle this idiot.

---

Yeah just dont trash him...my situation is very different though so its hard to compare or for others to understand...Like i said Fh suffers from something and his mom and I both talk about how to help him, he needs support from his loved ones and yes at times needs to be pushed to seek the help he needs. Because of this his mom is very active in helping him out bc he needs it, we talk to eachother so we can both discuss what each of us can do to help him and keep him on the right track.

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Posted by jgl

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Posted by yelley77

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Posted by jgl

---

Posted by yelley77

---

Posted by Espo22

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Posted by shoegal68

thanks... she really makes me feel better... i may ask her to go coffee tonight... my fh works nights..

i really have nothing to lose... feel like crap right now.

i feel soo mean & don't like using this word but i HATE this one friend... he always causes problems. & is such a user. for the life me i don't know why everybody kisses his butt !!

---

it depends on who she is, some girls say be careful what you say and its true but you know her and know what you can say...Honestly when i talk to FH's mom shes the one who will be like NOOOO dont take that, let him learn his lesson, and even when i say something like OH i feel bad bc he said this and it made me think, and she'll be like NO its what he says to manipulate the situation i know him and know that he does this lol...Shes just the type to be like they are my sons but i will never take their sides when they're wrong just bc of that, and she has ALWAYS been like that and FH always says how she never takes his side, she is the same way with FH's bro's gf. My situation is a bit different bc my FH has a condition(is that even the right word) so its a bit different bc she knows about this more than I do and how everyone else will handle a situation, you have to handle it different with someone who goes through what he does so i honestly needed alot of help understanding this and she was the one who really helped me, yes i couldve gone to others which i spoke to 2 close friends about but they dont know about this as much as she does.

I dont sit there and put him down, I'll just tell her what happened and how i feel about it but i never bad mouth or anyting like that, only bc i dont want to so not like i have to watch myself around her, i dont bad mouth him to my friends either i just say the situation as is.

---

Denise made a GREAT point, she said, 'I don't sit there adn put him down'. You have to be able to just talk to her about the situation, rather than, say, 'FH is ___________ and he does this ___________ on purpose, etc'

---

I think that is a good point.. if you are going to talk to your FMIL you have to make sure that you are just asking what you should do and not complaing that FH never...... and he can be so ..... I know if his mother said stuff like that to me about him i would be upset.

I personally still don't go to FMIL over relationship stuff, and I dont go to my mother. FH and i work it out. I feel that after 8years of being together, I think i know FH better than his mom does. Yes she raised him, but hes a MAN now, hes not a baby, PLUS my FH isnt the type who talks to his mom about relationship stuff, so she doesnt know him in THAT way, like i know him.

But that is just my FH.
My relationship with FMIL is very close, we talk all the time, and she calls me before she calls him. I always know whats going on in his family before he does, but i rather keep our personal stuff between the 2of us.

---

Absolutely. Once you tell something to a parent of friend, they don't foget it. I don't know if I read it in a poem, or card, but a mother was speaking about her children and she was talking about marriage and her daughter and said, 'be careful daughter of what you tell me, for you may forgive him whoeheartedly, but as your mother, I will never forget' I think that is so true. If you run to your friends and family whenever bad things happen, they begin to think that it is a bad relationship.

did that make ANY sense? LOL

---

yes that made a lot of sense.. my grand ma always used to tell me soemthing like that.

---

yep that makes sense, my mom always uses the 'dont air dirty laundry outside' line on me

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Posted by jgl

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by shoegal68

i doubt he tells his mom anything... not sure how he would feel about it if he knew i talked to her.

if i do talk to her about it i will be very careful.. i am not going to talk bad about him.... honestly its more about the whole situation because unfortunately, i feel its not the last time its going to happen. right now i feel like a psycho. i really rather seek her advice over my friends because she knows him better than anybody.

in the past i expressed my feelings & she was very comforting.

ugh... decisions decisions

---

Oh FH doesn't know, well you know him so know whether he would like that or not...FH knows and he even jokes around like OH now you two will be going crazy with the emails tomorrow lol.

---

I agree with Denise. I think if your FH doesnt know that could create more problems. thats def something to consider.

haha denise my FH is the same way, since i always know everything before he does haha

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yeah its funny, i once told him 'oh so your doctors appointment is at 12:30 tomorrow' hes like uhmmm i didnt know but glad you know before me lol.

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by jgl

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by shoegal68

i doubt he tells his mom anything... not sure how he would feel about it if he knew i talked to her.

if i do talk to her about it i will be very careful.. i am not going to talk bad about him.... honestly its more about the whole situation because unfortunately, i feel its not the last time its going to happen. right now i feel like a psycho. i really rather seek her advice over my friends because she knows him better than anybody.

in the past i expressed my feelings & she was very comforting.

ugh... decisions decisions

---

Oh FH doesn't know, well you know him so know whether he would like that or not...FH knows and he even jokes around like OH now you two will be going crazy with the emails tomorrow lol.

---

I agree with Denise. I think if your FH doesnt know that could create more problems. thats def something to consider.

haha denise my FH is the same way, since i always know everything before he does haha

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yeah its funny, i once told him 'oh so your doctors appointment is at 12:30 tomorrow' hes like uhmmm i didnt know but glad you know before me lol.

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haha at least they are okay with it...

i think that if that was me and he knew everything before i did - i would be mad haha

i think you absolutely should talk to her...if you have that kind of relationship w her, you shouldn't feel bad asking her advice, it's not like you're going saying bad things about him, you're looking out for him b/c you care and i'm sure she knows that.

good luck!