Do you and FH fight?

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Posted by davenjess

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Posted by SoinLoveRwe2

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Posted by davenjess

To be honest, not really...the only time we fight is when he's watching his teams play sports - because he loses his MIND!!!!

Other than that, no, not at all...

I hope that doesn't sound snotty - not what i'm going for at all...

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It doesnt sound snotty--- that's the way that we were too! Never ever fighting-- maybe it's stress- he has a new job where he has a LOT of responsibility-- he hates my new job because I work so much-- there is a guy at work who is 'in love' with me and that stresses FH out--- holidays...wedding... Am i just making excuses?!?

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NO - you are not making excuses. Is he normally VERY laid back? That's the way Dave is...and the wedding stress recently got to him...we didn't fight - but he seemed to be in an odd mood..

Maybe you & FH need to sit down and talk it ALL out.... His worries about your job and the guy in love witcha....etc...

Get it ALL out...it really made a HUGE difference the other day when Dave finally let it out. He was so worried about money, so I showed him the budget, set his mind to rest...it was so nice that he finally opened up, etc...

FM me if you want to talk about it!!!!!

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I totally agree that it is better to get it out. I just tried to talk about it with him-- but he's very: it's not a big deal, it's just because of stress etc. I feel like I want to talk about it so it doesnt get worse but he doesnt think it's a big deal. I even said to him-- it is a BIG deal to me that you dont think this is a big deal....

but he is SUPER laid back and would rather just hug me and tell me he loves me (and do the dishes like he is right now!) but i feel like that doesnt always make it better- you know?

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Posted by SoinLoveRwe2

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Posted by davenjess

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Posted by SoinLoveRwe2

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Posted by davenjess

To be honest, not really...the only time we fight is when he's watching his teams play sports - because he loses his MIND!!!!

Other than that, no, not at all...

I hope that doesn't sound snotty - not what i'm going for at all...

---

It doesnt sound snotty--- that's the way that we were too! Never ever fighting-- maybe it's stress- he has a new job where he has a LOT of responsibility-- he hates my new job because I work so much-- there is a guy at work who is 'in love' with me and that stresses FH out--- holidays...wedding... Am i just making excuses?!?

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NO - you are not making excuses. Is he normally VERY laid back? That's the way Dave is...and the wedding stress recently got to him...we didn't fight - but he seemed to be in an odd mood..

Maybe you & FH need to sit down and talk it ALL out.... His worries about your job and the guy in love witcha....etc...

Get it ALL out...it really made a HUGE difference the other day when Dave finally let it out. He was so worried about money, so I showed him the budget, set his mind to rest...it was so nice that he finally opened up, etc...

FM me if you want to talk about it!!!!!

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I totally agree that it is better to get it out. I just tried to talk about it with him-- but he's very: it's not a big deal, it's just because of stress etc. I feel like I want to talk about it so it doesnt get worse but he doesnt think it's a big deal. I even said to him-- it is a BIG deal to me that you dont think this is a big deal....

but he is SUPER laid back and would rather just hug me and tell me he loves me (and do the dishes like he is right now!) but i feel like that doesnt always make it better- you know?

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He just doesn't want to talk right now. You said he just started a new job which is horribly stressful. He will want to talk sooner or later. Just be there when he needs an ear. Enjoy the hugs and the I love yous for now until he is ready to chat.

then we bicker about it-- he says it's because I dont like it when he has an opinion-- that if I dont agree with him we have an argument-- but if that is the case why did we only start arguing recently? Does he have a newly developed opinion that didnt exsist before/?

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I think (keep in mind, math teacher, NOT therapist) he may be feeling a little slighted by you right now. You are working crazy hours, you have a co-worker in love with you and I'm sure that you may be a little pre-occupied with the holidays and weddings right now. He probably just really misses you and his Y chromosome prevents him from saying that so he does the next best thing which is to fight with you. Next time, just smile, kiss, say I love you, and see how the fight progresses from there.

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Posted by iwannabmrsD

yep.. we argue.. we are planning a wedding, buying a house and i'm pregnant..we argue DAILY.. doesn't mean i love him any less... he just irritates me most of the time right now..

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When I was pregnant everyone irritated me!!!

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Posted by SoinLoveRwe2

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Posted by davenjess

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Posted by SoinLoveRwe2

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Posted by davenjess

To be honest, not really...the only time we fight is when he's watching his teams play sports - because he loses his MIND!!!!

Other than that, no, not at all...

I hope that doesn't sound snotty - not what i'm going for at all...

---

It doesnt sound snotty--- that's the way that we were too! Never ever fighting-- maybe it's stress- he has a new job where he has a LOT of responsibility-- he hates my new job because I work so much-- there is a guy at work who is 'in love' with me and that stresses FH out--- holidays...wedding... Am i just making excuses?!?

---

NO - you are not making excuses. Is he normally VERY laid back? That's the way Dave is...and the wedding stress recently got to him...we didn't fight - but he seemed to be in an odd mood..

Maybe you & FH need to sit down and talk it ALL out.... His worries about your job and the guy in love witcha....etc...

Get it ALL out...it really made a HUGE difference the other day when Dave finally let it out. He was so worried about money, so I showed him the budget, set his mind to rest...it was so nice that he finally opened up, etc...

FM me if you want to talk about it!!!!!

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I totally agree that it is better to get it out. I just tried to talk about it with him-- but he's very: it's not a big deal, it's just because of stress etc. I feel like I want to talk about it so it doesnt get worse but he doesnt think it's a big deal. I even said to him-- it is a BIG deal to me that you dont think this is a big deal....

but he is SUPER laid back and would rather just hug me and tell me he loves me (and do the dishes like he is right now!) but i feel like that doesnt always make it better- you know?

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OH MY GOD - you are marrying Dave's twin.. That's EXACTLY the way he is...i would say last week was the ONE time he finally spoke up....

You tried the big deal thing and that didn't break through... Why not try to make it simple and not a huge deal...why not try the whole, this whole wedding this is stressing me out and start talking about what is upsetting you...maybe, just maybe he'll chime in....

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Posted by mathteach

then we bicker about it-- he says it's because I dont like it when he has an opinion-- that if I dont agree with him we have an argument-- but if that is the case why did we only start arguing recently? Does he have a newly developed opinion that didnt exsist before/?

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I think (keep in mind, math teacher, NOT therapist) he may be feeling a little slighted by you right now. You are working crazy hours, you have a co-worker in love with you and I'm sure that you may be a little pre-occupied with the holidays and weddings right now. He probably just really misses you and his Y chromosome prevents him from saying that so he does the next best thing which is to fight with you. Next time, just smile, kiss, say I love you, and see how the fight progresses from there.

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I never thought of that. It might be true- he hates this co worker-- and though i have the co worker under control and we're just friends I know that it annoys him. My problem is that I feel like if I don't tell FH everythign then I'm hiding something- and there's nothing to hide. So I tell him everything and then he gets mad that i talk about the guy--- i can't seem to get it right!

yup. we argue. it would be weird if we agreed on everything all the time. not saying that it's bad for people to never fight, but i honestly don't think it's all that healthy.
i'd rather diagree and get into a heated argument than keep it all inside you know?

You're all so great... I'm not hysterical crying anymore-- what would I do without you???


I'm off to finish cooking and help FH with the dishes ( I can hear him clanking away down there)

Thank you so much- you all made me feel so much better! Love you girls!!!!!!!! Merry Christmas!

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Posted by SoinLoveRwe2

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Posted by mathteach

then we bicker about it-- he says it's because I dont like it when he has an opinion-- that if I dont agree with him we have an argument-- but if that is the case why did we only start arguing recently? Does he have a newly developed opinion that didnt exsist before/?

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I think (keep in mind, math teacher, NOT therapist) he may be feeling a little slighted by you right now. You are working crazy hours, you have a co-worker in love with you and I'm sure that you may be a little pre-occupied with the holidays and weddings right now. He probably just really misses you and his Y chromosome prevents him from saying that so he does the next best thing which is to fight with you. Next time, just smile, kiss, say I love you, and see how the fight progresses from there.

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I never thought of that. It might be true- he hates this co worker-- and though i have the co worker under control and we're just friends I know that it annoys him. My problem is that I feel like if I don't tell FH everythign then I'm hiding something- and there's nothing to hide. So I tell him everything and then he gets mad that i talk about the guy--- i can't seem to get it right!

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Yeah, that's a tough one. What exactly do you tell FH about this guy. If it is boring work stuff, 'Oh Joe had a project..blah blah' then keep it to yourself, because I am sure FH does not want to hear his name. However, if you are telling him stuff like 'Joe walked by desk 82 times today' then that is sketchy. You want to tell him because you should, but obviously it bothers FH to hear it.

If I were you (again math teacher, not therapist) I would wean off conversations about this guy. Just try to talk about it less. If he asks, then of course, answer.

we used to argue more than we do now
i think it has to do with knowing each other and knowing WHY or WHAT

sometimes FH gets upset, and i used to get upset but now i know that it usually has nothing to do with me so i dont let it bother me anymore

We wouldn't fight if he stop using the word 'NO!'

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Posted by SoinLoveRwe2

I just get so frustrated that we WERE that couple that never argued--- but recently we bicker.

We talk about it (well actually I cry about it) and he apologizes and tells me he never wants to make me upset he's so sorry blablabla then he does it all over again--- I just don't get it.

What is the point to admitting there is a problem if you don't try to fix it???

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we fight like its our job sometimes! I just dont get it.... this sounds exactly like him though!!!! they just dont understand rational ideas... honestly everyone is going to have a different idea why people fight, and honestly they will all probably be right! sometimes its stress from the holidays, sometimes its just two different point of views. but what matters most is that you both love each other at the end of the day and can fall asleep in each others arms, happy together ( now whether he is put on the couch one night or two is ok, you can dream about him in your arms! haha )

i honestly believe a certain amount of fighting is healthy...i have learned so much about FH from our fights. and over the years we've learned how to settle them more quickly.

we have def been arguing more lately...i am 100% positive its bc of wedding planning and holidays like u said. i am sure its normal, and u r def not alone!!

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Posted by dajc23

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Posted by 2007 Crescent Bride

My FH and I do not argue. We've had one fight in 5 years. He just doesn't argue. Don't get worried. Holidays are a very stressful time plus you are planning a wedding. Don't feel blue. Give him a big hug and a kiss and tell him you love him.

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My FH hatessssss to fight...and i hate the fact that he doesnt want to lol I enjoy a good screaming match every so often (as f*cked up as it sounds) but hes just always so 'whatever' about things. We're both a little cranky cause we're so busy but never have major arguments lol

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omg thats not f'cked up at all...i act the same way! sometimes you just get on each others nerves and you need to like scream it out! not say super hurtful things or anything, just let some anger out! lol, but yea we def fight, but we make up...every relationship goes through it, and if you don't...you will someday

fh and i were never really fighters before.. but the wedding planning has made us argue a lot lately.. lol. i think what you and fh are going through right now is totally normal. its a stressful time in your lives.. just keep reminding yourselves that.