do you invite the ex?

ok....

so after long thought and input from you guys... I decided to....

INVITE HER!


Obviously every situation is different, depending on the people involved, the current relationship etc. When i thought about it... I remembered...

1. They're relationship ended almost 6 years ago

2. I truly believe all those old feelings are in the past

3. She has been a good friend to fh and myself

4. I feel like by not inviting her, it shows I am not comfortable with their friendship, and I am

5. Inviting her, avoids the potential argument between myself and fh for not inviting her

In trying to define their relationship... I realized they are in fact friends! the fact that they once dated is second to that... So once I stopped referring to her as the ex, and refer to her as (friend) it makes sense.

After a certain point, when does someone stop being defined as the the ex and become re-defined based on the current realationship? I'm not saying this scenario is right for everyone.. but I think I am making the right decision...

Thanks again for all your help!!!!!

I think that in your heart you know it is your (you & DH) day & she will merely bear witness, as many other friends will.

I hope this is a weight off your shoulders. I know it was not an easy decision for you to make

NO! NO NO and no. My previous ex's have all dumped me for their own reasons: incompatbility, personality differences, etc. as I was always the dumpee. They obviously don't want me in their lives so why shall I remain friends with them, why shall I continue to have them in my life? Why shall I invite my ex's to my wedding? Why shall I share or open my life to them even as a 'friend' when they obviously dump me thus there shall never be any relationship between us as there is no future--NOT even as friends.

I did see one of my ex's while waiting for my DH (boyfriend at the time) in college as I completely shut him out of my life. I don't want them in my lives again.

Ering,

I'm soooooooo glad that you came to the (your) right decision! It is very mature of you to realize that their relationship is way in the past (wow, 6 years???!!!), and they have since moved on, and over that.

Good for you! And congrats on putting that decision behind you!

my 'first love' is comming to my wedding and my FH asked him to be an usher. THey get laong great. We dated along time ago and from the moment we ended things we were best friends. I couldnt imagine not having him at the wedding.
And look at it this way, dont worry about her, your the one that gets to say haha hes mine!

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Posted by ering

ok....

so after long thought and input from you guys... I decided to....

INVITE HER!


Obviously every situation is different, depending on the people involved, the current relationship etc. When i thought about it... I remembered...

1. They're relationship ended almost 6 years ago

2. I truly believe all those old feelings are in the past

3. She has been a good friend to fh and myself

4. I feel like by not inviting her, it shows I am not comfortable with their friendship, and I am

5. Inviting her, avoids the potential argument between myself and fh for not inviting her

In trying to define their relationship... I realized they are in fact friends! the fact that they once dated is second to that... So once I stopped referring to her as the ex, and refer to her as (friend) it makes sense.

After a certain point, when does someone stop being defined as the the ex and become re-defined based on the current realationship? I'm not saying this scenario is right for everyone.. but I think I am making the right decision...

Thanks again for all your help!!!!!

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I really think you made the right decision. Its funny- I was thinking of you yesterday. FH and I went sailing yesterday with my ex yesterday and his friend. It was so friendly and comfortable. FH and my ex get along nicely- so it was such a pleasant evenign and really shows how much we moved on.