Because you have to spend money to travel or for a hotel? I don't mean a destination wedding, but maybe a wedding a few states away where you have to stay overnight? i've heard a lot of people say they give less, or that they expect OOT people to give less. Do you really do this?
WedHead
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Re: Do you really give less as an OOT guest?
I wouldn't be bother if OOT guests gave less because I'd be happy they made the trip.
But, I also figure if I had to travel to their wedding, the same people will have to travel to mine - so I give the same as if it were local.
Charly
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Re: Do you really give less as an OOT guest?
I have to be honest. Although for the most part it wouldn't make a difference, there are factors to consider. One being how much I have to pay in additional expenses. We don't have alot of $ and have a quite a few weddings, baby showers, etc one right after the other. I know for one wedding its going to cost us a pretty penny to travel and stay because they picked an expensive area to wed and all the hotels are minimum of $350 (witht he room block) a night not including any other travel expenses. We may have to simply because there is only just so much money. I could reply no and send more $$, but in my heart I'd want to be there. I will make it up in other ways!!!
Boston&NY2006
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Re: Do you really give less as an OOT guest?
No way...It seems like every wedding I go to lately is OOT, but I only give different amounts based on how close I am to the couple (obviously I'm going to give more if it's a really close friend or a family member).
Sure, the expense of the hotel/travel gets a little ridiculous, but I guess if we couldn't afford it, we wouldn't go...
Charly
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Re: Do you really give less as an OOT guest?
Posted by Soon2BeMrs2006
what if you cant make it to the wedding. do you still send a gift?
I always send a gift (unless it was someone who didn't come to mine and didn't send a gift)
ShortBride
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Re: Do you really give less as an OOT guest?
I am not expecting as much from out OOT guests (and there are quite a few of them), and I know in a lot of the country, it's considered odd to give cash, and gifts are given. (Personally, we'd prefer cash, b/c we have all of the 'stuff' that we need but we want to buy a house, but of course its the attendance of the guests that matter!)
eroxgirl
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Re: Do you really give less as an OOT guest?
I have only gone to one OOT wedding and we gave the same amount we would have if they got married here.
At our wedding we were given less by our OOT guests but part of that might have been because weddings aren't as extravagant where they live, as well as the expense of traveling, hotels, etc.
Jan05Bride
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Re: Do you really give less as an OOT guest?
No, never!
FTRBRIDE
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Re: Do you really give less as an OOT guest?
People from OOT have been sending us registry gifts rather than cash (sent before the wedding so that they don't have to carry it). Since it is custom outside of NY to give boxed gifts, when we travel OOT for a wedding we always send a boxed gift ahead of time. We don't pick out less expensive gifts, but it is always easier to save $$ when you buy from a registry b/c Macys, Bloomies, etc. are ALWAYS running sales.
N.Y.bride
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Re: Do you really give less as an OOT guest?
no I dont. I give the same.
My cousin from Florida was in my wedding and I let her stay at my house, fed her and I bought her dress. I think its only right if youre making them travel so far etc.
KimberlyBride
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Re: Do you really give less as an OOT guest?
Honestly yes I would gives less then my normal gift because I would be paying for hotel/airfare.
SeptWed
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Re: Do you really give less as an OOT guest?
I never have...but i have never flown to a wedding, only stayed at a hotel. And i have always given them a nice gift.
My wedding was weird. We didn't have too many OOT guests but a few people decided to stay at a hotel nearby so they could drink and enjoy themselves. Most of these people gave us the same amount as others for gifts. However, DH's Aunt gave us $50 (and she has multiple homes, much money and only lived in NJ). Also, a few of DH's friends gave us nothing (and they all do very well for themselves). I never heard of OOT guests giving nothing until my wedding. I thought it was rude because all of them lived either in NJ or LI and only stayed at the hotel to have a good time and none of them flew in.
As for giving a gift if i am not going to a wedding - I usually do if its an important friend. Usually half of what i would normally give. However, i was invited to one wedding that i did not because i was not close to the couple and knew i would not speak to them after the wedding.
LFitzy79
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Re: Do you really give less as an OOT guest?
I always give the same amount, regardless of having to travel.
Nautical bride
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Re: Do you really give less as an OOT guest?
I do not give less just because travel and hotels are involved, but I do take into account the part of the country the wedding is in. I have found people in NY and the NE in general give a lot more for weddings than in other parts of the U.S. For instance, many of my friends in MD and VA had never heard of 'covering the plate' and the plate is typically a lot less in some parts.
So I try to give generously, but what is appropriate for that area.
We had a LOT of guests from VA and MD at our wedding and all gave significantly less than the NY crowd. However, I don't attribute this to the travel as much as to what they are used to giving at weddings where they live.
One exception - the groom's family gave noticeably less than we thought because they had to travel.
