Because you have to spend money to travel or for a hotel? I don't mean a destination wedding, but maybe a wedding a few states away where you have to stay overnight? i've heard a lot of people say they give less, or that they expect OOT people to give less. Do you really do this?
CJStein
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do you really give less as an OOT guest?
Ni, I usually give the same amount I would for a wedding in NY.
Boop2704
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do you really give less as an OOT guest?
Sometimes, depends on my financial situation at the time. I don't think the bride and groom expect ANYTHING if they know you are traveling from out of town and paying to stay at a hotel, plus extras. They know how much things cost, and the important thing to them is that you are there. I didn't expect anything from the people that traveled to my wedding. I knew it was expensive with air, hotel, meals and I just wanted them there. If they gave us a gift, it was very generous of them, but totally unexpected!!
Soon2BeMrs2006
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do you really give less as an OOT guest?
i personally wouldnt give less i'd give same amount but i've heard thrre are people who sometimes dont give anything
Love_my_Freddybear
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do you really give less as an OOT guest?
I hope my guests don't do that to me!!! I know I am selfish....I'll admit it
suven
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do you really give less as an OOT guest?
I wish we did
But we just don't have it in us.
It really depends on WHO it is. We went to one local wedding and gave $150 (we had some drama with this couple during our wedding)
We went to another wedding in Italy (airfare at that time was approx $1500 round trip for both of us) and we gave 250 Euros (which was almost $300)
We're going to another wedding in Italy in 2 weeks, which we also shelled out to get there. This couple did not attend our wedding, but they sent a gift. We are giving back the same gift (but converting it to Euros)
Oddly, it seems like all of our weddings are either within a 2 hour drive, or they're in another country. I guess we just don't have any out of state weddings...
eta: Another oddity: most of our OOT guests were more generous than the local folks. go figure! And, it seems that we're the same way.
I guess the equation goes like this: If you're CLOSE with the couple, you're going to go to their wedding, no matter where it is. AND, if you're close to the couple, you were already more likely to give more than someone who isn't that close to the couple. AND, if someone isn't close to the couple, it's unlikely that they'll travel far and wide to get to the wedding. Does that make sense? not sure if I got it out right...
103005FallBride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do you really give less as an OOT guest?
No.
candb
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do you really give less as an OOT guest?
It depends on who it is, and where it is. If it's only a state or two away, I give the same amount. If I need to fly, I give less.
gNi1125
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do you really give less as an OOT guest?
No, I give the same as I would if the wedding were here.
mrswask
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do you really give less as an OOT guest?
Most of our OOT guests were family with a couple of friends - I would say that it was split - half the OOT family was very generous while the other OOT family was very noticably cheap! Call me selfish, but I only say that because all the people who are cheap, have TONS of money - I'm talking multiple homes, brand new BMWs and Lexus' every year,etc.
exotica776
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do you really give less as an OOT guest?
Posted by gNi1125
No, I give the same as I would if the wedding were here.
same here, if i make the decision to go and spend the $$ on travel, rooms etc... I dont feel it should make a difference in the amt i give the couple. if i couldnt afford it, i wouldnt go, jmo.
o17range
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do you really give less as an OOT guest?
If I cared enough to travel to the wedding, then I would certainly care enough to give a nice gift.
Soon2BeMrs2006
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do you really give less as an OOT guest?
what if you cant make it to the wedding. do you still send a gift?
ophial
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do you really give less as an OOT guest?
I just asked that same question of my co-workers today!!! They were divided on that....half said they didn't send anything, just a note in the response cards and half said that they sent a check with the no response, albeit a smaller check, like $50-$75. Personally, the only weddings I have declined going to are the ones where I'm not that close to the bride or groom, like 2nd cousins so I haven't sent anything in the past. If it were a really close friend and I couldn't go for whatever reason, then maybe I would send check, but for less than I would have given had I been at the wedding. In the past, I have not given anything to the weddings I have declined....am I cheap???
Mrs. dleeny
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do you really give less as an OOT guest?
I give the same
boobobunny
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do you really give less as an OOT guest?
I never really thought to give less of a gift because I was an OOT guest....I dont think that I would give less.
Backinneyork
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do you really give less as an OOT guest?
I don't expect my OOT to give as much - and actually a bunch of them asked me where I am registered, so I assume I'll be getting gifts instead of cash, which is fine by me since I did not get a lot off my registry for my shower.
marymoon
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do you really give less as an OOT guest?
The trend with us has been to give the same, but it gets very difficult! We're going to a wedding in september, and it's just so hard to figure out where all of the $$ is going to come from to travel, hotel, attire, gift..
lrs2005
Posted:
Member since
Re: Do you really give less as an OOT guest?
If we go to the wedding we give the same for both OOT and local weddings, but if we do not attend the wedding we give less.
