Do you think it's 'rude' to have NO CHILDREN at your wedding?

Original post by Kathy116

Nov 05, 2003 11:33 AM

Our wedding starts at 5:30pm and ends at 11:00pm. FI and I decided in January that NO CHILDREN were invited, we wanted this to be an adult wedding, and a nice night out for people with children. The only 'kids' that will be there are teenagers...16, 17 yrs old.

NOW...this morning, FI starts in with me that he always imagined children at his wedding!!!!!!!! WTF!!!!!!!!!! INVITATIONS went out 3 weeks ago and now he pulls this?

Well, turns out FI's brother...a huge idiot, self centered putz, is starting trouble and saying we're rude for not inviting his 3 YEAR OLD and 6 YEAR OLD.

I'm FURIOUS AT BOTH MY FI And HIS BROTHER. I don't want children this age at our wedding! Also, if I invite them, I have to invite everyone's children..(that's like 40 children...I have around 50 first cousins)

Am I being crazy?

bridget&jimmy Posted: Nov 05, 2003 01:24 PM

Re: Do you think it's 'rude' to have NO CHILDREN at your wedding?

I dont think it is rude but if you wanted to you could also just invit siblings children only.

Bridget

Maribelle7777 Posted: Nov 05, 2003 01:34 PM

Re: Do you think it's 'rude' to have NO CHILDREN at your wedding?

I don't think it's rude at all. Why did your FI do that to you? Is he too nervous to stand up to his brother? That is ridiculous. Did he only agree no kids to appease you? You don't have to invite all your cousins. If FI and his family really make a big stink, let them come. Are they going ot be in the wedding itself (ie: FG or ring bearer)?

Otherwise if you know FI didn't want kids and he's only caving into pressure from his brother, then explain that you want your friends and family to have fun, that the kids will probably get bored and tired and cranky and that will only make things hard for your FBIL and his wife with dealing with 2 tired and cranky kids. I mean I've seen too many couples come with kids and then leave early (ie: before cake!) b/c their kids are sick/tired/whining/bored/cranky/fell and got hurt/etc. And some of them realized that it wasn't such a hot idea to bring them in the first place. That's why we are doing adult only reception too. Maybe once they think about it they'll realize that it might be a better idea to leave the kids at home.

Mary

flannism Posted: Nov 05, 2003 02:39 PM

Re: Do you think it's 'rude' to have NO CHILDREN at your wedding?

All the wedding advice books/magazines I've seen say it's OK to say 'Adult-Only Reception' on your invitations. Even Martha Stewart says it isn't rude!

Kathy116 Posted: Nov 05, 2003 02:47 PM

Re: Do you think it's 'rude' to have NO CHILDREN at your wedding?

Thanks so much ladies

I do feel confident in my decision, but when FI sprung this on me today I started to wonder.

I'm most upset that WE AGREED that this was an adult only reception, and now he's caving because his whiny brother is b$%ching and moaning.

Thanks for all your support and I feel better than ever in my decision

larryswife2be Posted: Nov 05, 2003 07:03 PM

Re: Do you think it's 'rude' to have NO CHILDREN at your wedding?

I totally agree with you! I really didn't want to have children at my wedding reception either. I think it is really inappropriate to have 3 and 4 year olds running around at 10pm at night. But that's just my opinion. Unfortunately we are having his nieces and nephew which are 6, 3, and 1 year there. only because it's his family, I agreed to it

kimmie Posted: Nov 05, 2003 08:21 PM

Re: Do you think it's 'rude' to have NO CHILDREN at your wedding?

I don't think it is rude at all. My neice and nephews are in the wedding and after all of the pictures and the bridal party getting introduced the babysitter is taking them HOME. My sister and BIL are then able to have a good time for themselves which rarely gets to happen with other adults.

danigirl0 Posted: Nov 05, 2003 08:40 PM

Re: Do you think it's 'rude' to have NO CHILDREN at your wedding?

I'm not having any!!!!!

LIJuneBride Posted: Nov 05, 2003 08:46 PM

Re: Do you think it's 'rude' to have NO CHILDREN at your wedding?

It is definitely your choice - you are not being rude by having an adults only reception. And just because you invite nephews does NOT mean you have to invite every child.

My nieces and nephews will be at my reception because they are in my bridal party and I cannot imagine not having them there. They are very important to me and I definitely want them there. As long as it's okay with their parents of course.

I've been to weddings with children and without and they are both fun for their own reasons.

Do you have a nice bridal suite? Maybe if the kids get tired or cranky they can take a nap!

Kathy116 Posted: Nov 05, 2003 08:52 PM

Re: Do you think it's 'rude' to have NO CHILDREN at your wedding?

These two NIGHTMARISH TERRORS, I mean kids...are horrible. Their parents can't even take them out to dinner because they misbehave so badly.

I have a bridal suite, but I just don't want them at the wedding. It sounds a bit selfish, but this is one thing that I feel very strongly about.

LIJuneBride Posted: Nov 05, 2003 09:50 PM

Re: Do you think it's 'rude' to have NO CHILDREN at your wedding?

It's your wedding - do things the way you want and make no apologies to anyone - your wedding, your rules. You don't need disruptive children on the happiest day of your life. FI will just have to speak to his brother and tell him this celebration is for adults only.

bridejune04 Posted: Nov 05, 2003 09:55 PM

Re: Do you think it's 'rude' to have NO CHILDREN at your wedding?

I don't think it's rude to not have children at the wedding. I went to a wedding with alot of little kids and they ruined it. During the best man speech alls you heard was the kids. Needless to say I'm not having kids at my wedding. Just my flowergirl.

BriBri529 Posted: Nov 05, 2003 10:34 PM

Re: Do you think it's 'rude' to have NO CHILDREN at your wedding?

I do not think it is rude, however I feel that we are in the minority. Older family members get very offended if there children cannot come to a family affair at times (I have a family member who was highly insulted in a situation like this- not my wedding) I am personally having children at my wedding. FI has many nieces and nephews and I have a few very young cousins. I feel that it is all or nothing when it comes to close family, so we are having all. I am having children there by CHOICE, and if I chose NOT TO have children I would want my wishes RESPECTED!!! I hope everything works out for you in this situation!

[email protected] Posted: Nov 05, 2003 11:11 PM

Re: Do you think it's 'rude' to have NO CHILDREN at your wedding?

No you are not crazy, i actually looked into this for my wedding... on the invatations you write: Receiption to follow for Adults....

and so that no one gets pissed you can allow babies (they are usually free- and children usually over 3 are 1/2 priced) and children who are in the bridal party are also ok to attend the party.

YOu can also turn the tables by saying to your FI brother that you want them to have a great time and not worry about the kids. try having your FI say that if he makes an exception for him he has to do it for everyone and the plans are already made... maybe tell your FI that he should have your back here, after all you will be having a new life together.
Good luck

LADYLUV69 Posted: Nov 05, 2003 11:19 PM

Re: Do you think it's 'rude' to have NO CHILDREN at your wedding?

i am having kids at my wedding, but i am making it known 'WE WILL NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR CHILDREN. IF THEY BREAK ANYTHING MAKE SURE YOU HAVE YOUR CHECKBOOK HANDY.' if they don't like the enclosed quote they can stay home along with their children. it is not that serious!! i will get married with or with out them.

hsdfl Posted: Nov 05, 2003 11:22 PM

Re: Do you think it's 'rude' to have NO CHILDREN at your wedding?

No it's not rude. I am not having kids also. I am having my nieces and my son who are in the bridal party. I will make some exceptions because I have some family from out of town who will probably have a hard time getting a babysitter since all the family will be at my wedding. A friend of mine had a great idea. If they are all getting hotel rooms at the same hotel hire a babysitter for them and watch them in one hotel room. I know a lot of trust worthy teenagers. Some thing to think about.

Kathy116 Posted: Nov 06, 2003 12:16 AM

Re: Do you think it's 'rude' to have NO CHILDREN at your wedding?

It has been settled with FI....NO CHILDREN AT THE WEDDING!!!

He was getting pressure from his brother, and I think he was feeling guilty...but FI understands, and his brother will just have to live with out decision.

Thanks so much ladies for all your posts on the subject