Do your in-laws get along?

lipglossjunky73 Posted: Feb 06, 2006 01:45 PM

Do your in-laws get along?

I'm a little upset knowing that my inlaws will never be friendly. My parents and my inlaws come from just 2 different walks of life.

My parents are all about going out, being social, extravagance, etc. Well, not so much my dad - more my stepmom - who is all about - look at me, look at what I have, etc. Funny since if anyone read my thread on 'american dream' - may give you more insight into why I find it so avervive...

My future inlaws are just quiet, sweet, working class people who stay home, don;t go out. They aren't about image. They also have very little money. Also - they aren't that involved with anyone or anything - they do a lot for the grandkids, but other than that, they don't really call, don't get themselves too involved with much of anythihg - which, I prefer, seeing some of your guys posts!!!

My stepmom got upset that they haven't offered anything for the wedding - I told her I'm not getting involved - my parents have a lot of money, and his parents are struggling while his dad goes thru bankruptcy. I feel - my dad offered to help me out for the wedding, and I appreciate it. Otherwise, we would have had a private ceremony on a beach somewhere. She also got mad when they didn't offer to do anythign for the e-party, when my parents threw it for me. FH told his parents when they asked him if there is anything they should do, and he said no - everything is taken care of... He said this because I told him to - and my stepmomther was upset because she felt they weren't involved...

His parents aren't that social, and they say and do things sometimes that are just ignorant - nothing hurtful - they are just sweet naive people. I wish my parents could just see them for who they are, but they don't. They are just these nice, regular, everyday people. I feel bad that they are being judged. FH's parents, although we have been together over 2 years, don't know me that well - they don't do much to get to know me, or my family, but I don't expect them to...

Maybe this is just how it is, right? Do your parents and his get together, talk, be social, etc...?

Mrs. Powell Posted: Feb 06, 2006 01:46 PM

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

Sorry to hear this. My in-laws get along perfectly fine with my family.

lipglossjunky73 Posted: Feb 06, 2006 01:47 PM

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

Posted by Mrs. Powell

Sorry to hear this. My in-laws get along perfectly fine with my family.

to the point where they are in the same social circles? Like, they consider each other family, or friends?

agentangel Posted: Feb 06, 2006 01:48 PM

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

you know what - you'll never know. opposites do attract. different backgrounds don't always mean that they won't get along. i think things change when you have kids or some other major events. just give it time - who knows, they may grow to love each other.

MissingTheBGene Posted: Feb 06, 2006 01:48 PM

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

Posted by Mrs. Powell

Sorry to hear this. My in-laws get along perfectly fine with my family.

Same with me. I'm sorry to hear of this!

Mrs. Powell Posted: Feb 06, 2006 01:49 PM

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

Posted by lipglossjunky73

Posted by Mrs. Powell

Sorry to hear this. My in-laws get along perfectly fine with my family.

to the point where they are in the same social circles? Like, they consider each other family, or friends?

Well we all consider each other to be family. When it was my mom birthday party DH family actually helped with the preparation and everything without me asking. We all get along fine.

ali120206 Posted: Feb 06, 2006 01:52 PM

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

I'm sorry to hear that.

My parents and FILs met the day we got engaged at a really loud restaurant. Yesterday, I went for lunch with my FMIL and my parents and it was a nice time, a smaller group in a quieter place, so everyone was excited to spend a little more time together. Both sets of parents are pretty easy going and laid back so there isn't any awkwardness when they are together (well, the two times it's been so far).

I can't see them being friendly if it wasn't for my FH and I. His parents are big into going out and social events while mine are more of the stay at home type.

lipglossjunky73 Posted: Feb 06, 2006 01:53 PM

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

Posted by agentangel

you know what - you'll never know. opposites do attract. different backgrounds don't always mean that they won't get along. i think things change when you have kids or some other major events. just give it time - who knows, they may grow to love each other.

Thanks, but no - because I've seen this already with my stepsisters' in-laws - its my stepmom - she's judgemental and doesn't hang out with people unless they are on her 'level' and my dad is just quiet - he doesn't extend himself to anyone - he is sweet, but he's the dad behind the newspaper - I have to call him if I want to see him. thats just how they are.

bride2b24 Posted: Feb 06, 2006 01:54 PM

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

mine dont know eachother that well but are real friendly when they get together

BrideChrissy Posted: Feb 06, 2006 01:55 PM

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

Sorry... my inlaws get along great. They get together and go out.

BHW Posted: Feb 06, 2006 02:08 PM

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

I'll never have what my parents have with their in-laws (my grandparents are very friendly, go on vacation together, volunteer together, etc.), but our parents get along. My parents live on LI and DH's family is in CT. My family and MIL's side of the family spent Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve together, which was really nice. DH's grandmother also took my mom and grandmothers to lunch a few months ago. My parents saw FIL's side of the family once since the wedding and everyone got along well. I don't expect our families to be the best of friends, but it's nice that we've spent quality time with both sides together.

evnme Posted: Feb 06, 2006 02:09 PM

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

my fils and my family get along just fine!

Tiggeruth Posted: Feb 06, 2006 02:13 PM

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

Yeah, are dads are like two peas in a pod, its really fun when we all get together and occassionally they talk to each other on the phone. Our moms get along great too. I feel so lucky that my future in laws and my parents get along so well...makes things more fun. :)

SeptBride70 Posted: Feb 06, 2006 02:16 PM

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe time will help and as time goes on they will accept eachother for who they are and get along better... even in spite of how different they may be as people.
My future in-laws and my parents are VERY different but somehow, they just got along really well. (it was suprising to me!) I'm lucky.
Also, any concern or problem that arises, because that stuff happens to everyone, we always deal with very well.
Good Luck with them in the future...

R&J0806 Posted: Feb 06, 2006 02:19 PM

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

eh. they are always cordial to each other and we all spend thanksgiving together, but i don't think they'll ever be friends.

JanuaryBride06 Posted: Feb 06, 2006 02:22 PM

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

lipglossjunky73 Posted: Feb 06, 2006 02:23 PM

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

Posted by robynlevy

eh. they are always cordial to each other and we all spend thanksgiving together, but i don't think they'll ever be friends.

thats what i feel like - they will never get past cordial - oh well - my stepmom hates one of my stepsister's in-laws, so it could be worse...

alioop4282 Posted: Feb 06, 2006 02:33 PM

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

They only met once, after FH and I got engaged. We all went out to dinner and they got along fine that day.

RachelisEngaged Posted: Feb 06, 2006 02:38 PM

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

Posted by lipglossjunky73

Posted by robynlevy

eh. they are always cordial to each other and we all spend thanksgiving together, but i don't think they'll ever be friends.

thats what i feel like - they will never get past cordial - oh well - my stepmom hates one of my stepsister's in-laws, so it could be worse...

I'm in the same boat! My mom and FMIL were coridal with eachother when they met for the first time on thanksgiving. I was really embarrassed by how my mom was acting, she was kind of rude and weird. I dont think that my mom can move past her jealousy of my FMIL, because my mom lives in FL and FMIL lives in NY. The only really positive thing is that my mom loves FH and his mom loves me!