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Do your in-laws get along?

Original post by lipglossjunky73

I'm a little upset knowing that my inlaws will never be friendly. My parents and my inlaws come from just 2 different walks of life.

My parents are all about going out, being social, extravagance, etc. Well, not so much my dad - more my stepmom - who is all about - look at me, look at what I have, etc. Funny since if anyone read my thread on 'american dream' - may give you more insight into why I find it so avervive...

My future inlaws are just quiet, sweet, working class people who stay home, don;t go out. They aren't about image. They also have very little money. Also - they aren't that involved with anyone or anything - they do a lot for the grandkids, but other than that, they don't really call, don't get themselves too involved with much of anythihg - which, I prefer, seeing some of your guys posts!!!

My stepmom got upset that they haven't offered anything for the wedding - I told her I'm not getting involved - my parents have a lot of money, and his parents are struggling while his dad goes thru bankruptcy. I feel - my dad offered to help me out for the wedding, and I appreciate it. Otherwise, we would have had a private ceremony on a beach somewhere. She also got mad when they didn't offer to do anythign for the e-party, when my parents threw it for me. FH told his parents when they asked him if there is anything they should do, and he said no - everything is taken care of... He said this because I told him to - and my stepmomther was upset because she felt they weren't involved...

His parents aren't that social, and they say and do things sometimes that are just ignorant - nothing hurtful - they are just sweet naive people. I wish my parents could just see them for who they are, but they don't. They are just these nice, regular, everyday people. I feel bad that they are being judged. FH's parents, although we have been together over 2 years, don't know me that well - they don't do much to get to know me, or my family, but I don't expect them to...

Maybe this is just how it is, right? Do your parents and his get together, talk, be social, etc...?
TheBigDay Posted:

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

Posted by lipglossjunky73

Posted by agentangel

you know what - you'll never know. opposites do attract. different backgrounds don't always mean that they won't get along. i think things change when you have kids or some other major events. just give it time - who knows, they may grow to love each other.


Thanks, but no - because I've seen this already with my stepsisters' in-laws - its my stepmom - she's judgemental and doesn't hang out with people unless they are on her 'level' and my dad is just quiet - he doesn't extend himself to anyone - he is sweet, but he's the dad behind the newspaper - I have to call him if I want to see him. thats just how they are.



i have to say that i am glad to hear your concern about your FIL's I am sure that FH appreciates your concern and acknowledgement! I know I would.. i am working on an up hill battle myself.. FMIL is all about her status, impressing people and being with those that have $ like her! I know she talks about my parents.. she will say they are nice, but will throw in a few little 'innocent' jabs here and there!! she has a very low selfesteem and it bothers me she puts down others in an attempt to pick herself up and be snobby!... FH still needs to work on this stuff!!!! if FIL's dont know you that well, you should concentrate on that relationship more than your parents and his parents relationship... my family does not know FH that well, there is a serious difference in the time we spend with mine compared to his... Everytime we should be with my family something comes up (and 99% of the time it is a minute gathering or a regular everyday gathering) but he HAS to be there or his family goes BAZURK!!! another thing we are working on! He is learning to say Sorry, I have another family i need to get to know... i know i have spent MORE than enough time with his!!!!!
RadioLau Posted:

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

Unless there is something I don't know going on behind my back we all get along just fine.
69 Posted:

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

yes.... very well....

October Bliss Posted:

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

My mom & FMIL get along great. They met for the first time at our e-party which was the traditional MOB calls groom's family and invites them over to get to know one another. They all hit it off. My mom subsequently invited his mom to her b-day bash and had her over for x-mas. FMIL has not returned the invite but she works Fri, Sat & Sun evening and really doesn't have time to host a GTG. In fact, she has such a hard time getting off from work on the weekends, she put in to get our wedding day off this past weekend.

JazzyT Posted:

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

We have been together 8 years and My parents maybe seen FH's mom and never saw his dad.

The rehersal dinner will be the first time they meet.
ellebelle1 Posted:

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

My parents and in-laws became great friends. They have very similar personalities and backgrounds, like my FH and me. After hearing all of the stories on this board, I am so happy.

ETAB Posted:

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

my parent have not met my FIL's yet. They dont live in this country.. even if they did meet they would not be able to communicate...

superkat Posted:

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

My family lives in Florida and Maine. My FH and I live in Texas. My future in laws are in NY and Texas. So in other words, my FMIL has met my mom twice and they got along ok. That is about it. Of course, my fiance's family doesn't even get along with each other!
Colleen1230 Posted:

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

My parents and FIL's get along great. They are now planning things to do without FH and myself, they are becoming very good friends, which makes it nice for FH and me.

kittythestray Posted:

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

They get along well enough, but it's weird because both our parents are divorced so it's like 4 sets of parents. So, our Mom's have gone out with us a few times and our dads with step moms have gone out with us before but our moms have yet to meet our dads... make sense?? LOL. Both our divorced parents do not get along AT ALL, though, and I'm VERY nervous about the wedding!!

Bridex100 Posted:

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

Our parents live in different states. They met just once and were cordial. I like it that way. Less drama.

july06bride Posted:

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

Our parents get along wonderfully! I couldnt ask for it to be any better...they are different in so many ways, yet so similar...interesting because we are of two different cultures. our moms have gone away overnight together- like to the casino and spas...we have had holidays together for the past two years. It makes life so much easier!

MattsBride Posted:

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

My FIL get along very well with my family. FH and I met in 7th grade and have had the same group of friends ever since, so our parents have all been friends since then. I am also very close and comfortable with all of his family and he is with mine. My parents threw us an e-party and his parents offered to help. Sometimes we go to dinner with our parents together. I feel very lucky to have such a great situation!

siobhanB Posted:

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

I don't necessarily think that they need to be the best of friends. As long as they can be in the same room together and respect each others' differences, thats more important. It seems like the problem is more your stepmom than anything, and if thats the case, maybe you can talk to her, and tell her that she needs to settle down a bit.

And i agree with the person who said that your concern is really sweet and shows a lot of respect for your FH and his family; I'm sure they all see that and appreciate it more than you realize.
MrsP2Be Posted:

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

They did until they discussed money for the wedding.

csorisi Posted:

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

When DH & I were dating we got our parents to meet real early about a year before we were engaged--we went out to dinner just hte 6 of us. They hit it off. It really just depends on the 2 families--now both families hang out at holidays & even get each other gifts which I think is great. Just because your parents & your FHs parents aren't into the same things doesnt mean that they dont' get along---I have seen alot of inlaws not get along where there is constant fighting and puts a strain on your marriage--your inlaws & your parents don't have to be best friends as long as they get along to some extent i think it will be fine.

Shorty McBride Posted:

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

Our parents get along, but they'll never be 'lets go out to dinner and drinks' friends.

They're practically different generations. There's a 15yr difference in age. My parents are young, his are old. His parents have more in common w/ my grandparents!
jada2destiny Posted:

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

My in-laws get along fine. I'm not to crazy about my FMIL but she lives 18 hours away which is alright by me.

lipglossjunky73 Posted:

Re: Do your in-laws get along?

Posted by BJandDan

Does your stepmom know that FH told them it is ok to not do anything for the wedding? They may not realize this and are getting huffy about that?


Yeah - I told her - but she gets on her - WELL - still, a decent person would yada yada soapbox...

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