Does anyone else feel...

blondie24 Posted: Oct 26, 2009 09:38 PM

Does anyone else feel...

that their BMs are not even involved? I have 10, not 1,2 but 10 and I always have to do the calling,texting, asking for help... I am so sick of this I really am... granted I still have 6-7 months but what the eff!!! my friend just texted me about something so stupid (bm) and i told her 'ok' and she said whats wrong, are you upset? i told her yeah im effin upset...and i told her the reason why and she goes 'all you have to do is ask, and I can help you' why do I have to do the askin and calllllllling all the timeeeee!!!!

elisa112101 Posted: Oct 26, 2009 09:43 PM

Re: Does anyone else feel...

girl, im in the same way!!! i have my sis(MOH) and 4 BMs(one lives in Flo. so does my sis and i am forever up there a$$es to do stuff! and i dont even ask alot... I have been asking my BFF(of 15 years) to just meet with me so she can try on the BM dress and she has been blowing me off for a month!!! im tried of calling eveyone and the emails! So now i set the date for everyone to have bought there dresses by and those who dont ARE OUT!!! i know i sound evil but i loe my friends and would do anything for them i just wish they where here for me a bit better... ok vent over!

asg450 Posted: Oct 26, 2009 09:45 PM

Re: Does anyone else feel...

I feel like this with 2 of my bm's. I've tried to stay cool about it but I think I will have to tell my other girls to keep them on point with everything. I just don't want to deal with unnecessary stress.

Alyssa79 Posted: Oct 26, 2009 10:14 PM

Re: Does anyone else feel...

read my rant from last week

1 is going to be out and i just added 1 that deserves it.

blondie24 Posted: Oct 26, 2009 10:19 PM

Re: Does anyone else feel...

I guess im not alone... I feel like I need to honestly get rid of like 4 of them ... one is really a hot stinkin mess and I say that the nicest way possible.. and it ***** bc I have been friends with her for so damn long. Why cant they just call and say 'hey was just wondering if you need help with anything?' like wth are they going to do around the shower? Am I supposed to do EEEEEEEEEEVERYTHING?!!?!?!?

anyways, thanks ladies so much for listening! <3

Clover23 Posted: Oct 26, 2009 10:24 PM

Re: Does anyone else feel...

awww. yes, I know how you feel, BELIEVE ME... that's all i'm gonna say

mikendeanna Posted: Oct 26, 2009 10:32 PM

Re: Does anyone else feel...

I TOTALLY AGREE!!!

MrsH37 Posted: Oct 26, 2009 10:37 PM

Re: Does anyone else feel...

I feel that with with only one of my girls. it's so annoying

elp6421 Posted: Oct 26, 2009 11:03 PM

Re: Does anyone else feel...

OMG I am glad I am not the only one who is going through this!!! I can't say that about all of my bridesmaids..but the one I am closest with is planning her own wedding and has zero interest in anything that is not her wedding!

Maria5117 Posted: Oct 26, 2009 11:04 PM

Re: Does anyone else feel...

Honestly, ive realized that nobody will ever care half as much about our weddings as we do.... so i don't expect anyone to really be involved, except my MOH... and that's just because she knows it's expected.... to be honest, i've been a BM plenty of times and i don't think i've ever initiated calling the bride...sure i've gotten meaured and gone for fittings and wore my hair how I was supposed to.... but I didn't go out of my way to call or text the bride to see if there was anything I can do for her... so I definitely don't expect that... I've been annoyed when BMs haven't made themselves available or when they haven't done somethign i've asked on time, but not because they haven't called to ask if I need anything.... yes, i'm getting married and yes, i'm the bride..... but i'm not a princess and don't expect to be catered to.... JMO

xoxo

MrsHazel2B Posted: Oct 26, 2009 11:18 PM

Re: Does anyone else feel...

I know that with my BMs, they figure it's so far away, no need to think about everything now, there's plenty of time! They're not married so they have no idea what it's like to plan a wedding.
I'm setting up a calendar of events for things they need to do and when. This way, I don't have to run behind people!

Nany Posted: Oct 26, 2009 11:37 PM

Re: Does anyone else feel...

I think every bride to be can agree that as the wedding day approaches things that seem to not tick you off, will most definetly tick you off. My suggestion is that in order to decrease the amount of stress going fwd with regards to the BM's, I would just put out there....If you feel that they haven't assisted you as much, than tell them and ask them to help you out a bit. Most people aren't aware of how much planning is required to put a wedding together so you can't go around expecting people to just help you. You will need to ask them for assitance. If you give them advance notice about helping you out, there should be no reason for them not to. They are BM's and part of being a BM is to be able to assit the Bride and try to make her wedding day flow as stress free as possible!!

blondie24 Posted: Oct 27, 2009 12:08 AM

Re: Does anyone else feel...

Thank you ladies... see the thing with me is, I am overly helpful, I wanna help everyone all the time whenever they need me... not just with wedding things, everything overall, I guess I would at least expect someone to say 'hey whats going on?' like forget wedding stuff.. i havent like heard from my bm's besides thru 'FACEBOOK' which is not a good form of communication when they are your bms and want to discuss wedding stuff!!. Like, send me a damn text 'hey are you alive, busy?need to talk?' like yes granted my weekends are spent lesson planning however, I dont expect them to devote every waking moment to my wedding.. I know people have lives, they have work, etc.. but I initiate EVERYTHING and while some of my friends all have different social circles, it would be nice if I could kick back my feet and have someone do some work!!
My MOH told me a while back 'I know how picky you are, and I want to do something for you bachelorette party but I know you dont have the same taste as me and I figured that maybe you would plan your own bachelorette party' YES GO AHEAD AND ASSUME!! once again->

Noelsgirl Posted: Oct 27, 2009 06:27 AM

Re: Does anyone else feel...

My MOH is my sister and she live in FL and I feel like she gets upset whenever i start to talk about wedding stuff with her. I feel like sometimes the BM might get a bit jealous and dont want to offer as much help. Maybe you should try scalling back on the amount of BMs you have in your bridal party since 4 of them arent doing anything.

Lsorrent Posted: Oct 27, 2009 07:28 AM

Re: Does anyone else feel...

I guess I'm a little different here. I'm lucky that all of my BM's are willing to help with anything, but I do have to ask first. I don't expect them to be jumping to do something if I don't request it. The second I do ask though, they're all right there.

How will they know what you want if you don't tell them? JMO.

Jna2010 Posted: Oct 27, 2009 07:47 AM

Re: Does anyone else feel...

i do but i just think that i still have some time, plus this is like the first wedding where someone really close to them is getting married ya know and 2 of them are still in school so im not sure they totally know what to do lol

Alyssa79 Posted: Oct 27, 2009 07:51 AM

Re: Does anyone else feel...

Posted by Lsorrent
How will they know what you want if you don't tell them? JMO.

they will not know if you don't tell them, however they should never just not call you to even see how you are or anything like that AND just go for their fitting and just have their hair done a certain way the bride likes.

as a friend in general, wouldn't you call to see how your 'friend' is doing or to say hi?

(This is not an attack on you Laura, i'm just generalizing)

stinenandy2010 Posted: Oct 27, 2009 07:53 AM

Re: Does anyone else feel...

Posted by Lsorrent

I guess I'm a little different here. I'm lucky that all of my BM's are willing to help with anything, but I do have to ask first. I don't expect them to be jumping to do something if I don't request it. The second I do ask though, they're all right there.

How will they know what you want if you don't tell them? JMO.

ita, i'm sure if you ask they will all be right there with you.

MikesBride2B Posted: Oct 27, 2009 08:00 AM

Re: Does anyone else feel...

Posted by Alyssa79

Posted by Lsorrent
How will they know what you want if you don't tell them? JMO.

they will not know if you don't tell them, however they should never just not call you to even see how you are or anything like that AND just go for their fitting and just have their hair done a certain way the bride likes.

as a friend in general, wouldn't you call to see how your 'friend' is doing or to say hi?

(This is not an attack on you Laura, i'm just generalizing)

Well if they're not even acting like a FRIEND let alone a BM then that's a serious problem and I would be hella pisssed that I asked them to be a BM.

But yeah, I know my BMs are committed to helping me and both have expressed that their there for me, but I would definitely have to reach out to them and ask them for specific help.

jcreilly Posted: Oct 27, 2009 08:14 AM

Re: Does anyone else feel...

Im sorry, I dont really need my BM for anything and everyone else does maybe I missing somthing? my girls have all order their dresses but I do have a maidzille(my sister lol) so she will keep everyone in check for me!