Yesterday we hit the 2 week mark.......we're so excited...
But through all the excitement and last minute planning, I can't help but feel sad. My father passed away 10 years ago, and it's really just hitting me now that he won't be there. I'm miserable about it. I thought I was okay, but I've been secretly crying all week at night. I'm sorry for being so morbid, I'm just sad...
Thanks for listening.....
jennbaby
Posted:
Member since
Re: Does anyone else feel this way?
Marnles, This is the happiest time of your life, and also the time you'd most want your dad around. Know that he WILL be with you on your day, he is your angel. Maybe carry his picture in your bouquet or purse. I am sorry to hear you are upset. 2 weeks??? Sh%$ I wish I was in 2 weeks!!!
Are you done with everything?
Dawn5403
Posted:
Member since
Re: Does anyone else feel this way?
I agree completely with Jennbaby. I am sure what you are feeling is normal. (my dad past away also many years ago) Please don't worry so much about what you feel at this time. It is normal that your emotions are heightened at this time. Jenn had a great idea about the picture. Please know that he will be there in spirit and take comfort in that. Good luck to you and im sure your day will be wonderful
Dawn5403
Posted:
Member since
Re: Does anyone else feel this way?
Oh and Jenn, whats the rush??? Im worried that when I get closer I will be a basket case! I know I will miss all the planning
jennbaby
Posted:
Member since
Re: Does anyone else feel this way?
I will NOT miss the planning. I can't wait to resume my normal life; shopping, traveling etc.
Marnles how are you doing now?
IrishTracy
Posted:
Member since
Re: Does anyone else feel this way?
Marni- I TOTALLY understand. Any time I think about my wedding I can't help to think how my Parents won't be there! I'm tearing up about now! But, I know they will be there in spirit! I believe that they know everything that is happening. It will be hard not to feel this way! But just remember that he wants you to live your life to the fulliest & have fun!! Especially on your wedding day! My brother told my sister when she got married 'I might be on your rightside but Dad is on your left' And it made her feel that he was!! I hope this helps!
christy
Posted:
Member since
Re: Does anyone else feel this way?
I relate to how you are feeling. My Nana (who played the role of my mother) passed away in March. She saw us get engaged, but it is now hitting me that she wont be at our wedding. Also my FH's dad passed in May, so he is now feeling the same thing. I also am feeling sad because my Mother wont be there. We dont really have a relationship, and I am feeling sad that things just wont work out. If you ever need to talk let me know! I am here for ya!
DaniRN
Posted:
Member since
Re: Does anyone else feel this way?
Marnles, I can kind of relate. My great-grandma who raised me when my mom had cancer is in her late 90's and sometimes I get scared she won't make it to the wedding. Also, reading JenHos's post about her wedding made me realize how to cherish everything in life. I know I can be ***** to FH about all the planning but at least we know we will have our families there and that's what really matters.
MISHY
Posted:
Member since
Re: Does anyone else feel this way?
I feel the same way, I lost both parents and when it comes to plan each little thing I feel my mother should be there helping me. I know that both of my parents are above watching down over me but it does get a little depressing, I know my friends are around but it is hard for them to know how I feel. My FH has been a huge help (he has also lost his father) but even he can't relate sometimes and doesn't understand why I get so sensitive sometimes...
Stacey1403
Posted:
Member since
Re: Does anyone else feel this way?
{{{{{Hugs}}}}}
Ladies this is a special day for all of you and like Jenn said all your loved ones will be there, in spirit and in your hearts! God bless you all
michele31
Posted:
Member since
Re: Does anyone else feel this way?
I KNOW exactly how you feel. Both of my grandmothers passed away about 4 years ago. Neither of them got to see any of their grandchildren get married. I would have been the first. Both of them meant (and still mean) the world to me. My heart is still broken over the fact that they were not physically with me but I did do a few special things to make them feel closer to me. I wore my Nanny's cross around my neck and pinned my 'special granddaughter charm' that she gave me inside my gown. I carried my Grandmother's prayer book, the same one she carried when she got married and I put a butterfly pin inside my sister's bouquet. My grandmother LOVED butterflies. I also had their photos on the dresser when I was getting ready. Try to bring your Dad closer to you that day so you will feel his presence. He will be watching and smiling.
kelly4
Posted:
Member since
Re: Does anyone else feel this way?
Awwww! Marni! Here's some BIG hugs for you! congrats on the 2 week mark! Like the other ladies have said, your dad will be with you on your wedding day. He has been there all along with you for every exciting and sad moment of your life. He won't forget you on this milestone of your life!
Feel better! Kelly
TESTAROSSA19
Posted:
Member since
Re: Does anyone else feel this way?
HUGS to all of you! I agree with everyone, your loved ones will be there in spirit. I can't tell you I know how you feel exactly, but in a way I do. I lost my grandfather, my best friend, 2 years ago and I am devastated that he won't be there physically on my wedding day, but I know he will be there in spirit. I think carrying a picture with you or maybe saying a prayer in their name or putting a poem or something on the program may help.
Kris
Posted:
Member since
Re: Does anyone else feel this way?
Marnles, I know exactly how you are feeling. My father passed away nine years ago, and the anniversary was 4 days before my wedding. I was secretly crying that week too, and at work that day, I had an outburst. It is a normally difficult day for me, and coupled with the wedding stress, and thoughts of him not being there, I couldn't handle it. If you want to, please email me if you want to or need to talk.
lilmrs
Posted:
Member since
Re: Does anyone else feel this way?
I love the idea of carrying a picture of your loved ones with you. As many of you know we just lost a member of our wedding party as well as FH's grandmother (both within two weeks of one another.) So I can only imagine what you feel and how emotional we will be us when the time comes. I imagine that it is completly normal for you to feel much sadness in this happy time of your life. Just know that all deceased loved ones will be with all of us in spirit on our very special day.
Fh's brother in law was the one the past and his wife is also in our wedding party. We have talked about her stepping out because she said she will become very sad knowing that she was supposed to walk down the isle with her husband...I think I might surprise her and put a picture of her late husband with her flowers with a little note that says now you do get to walk down the isle with him, heres his picture and rememeber he is here with us in spirit...what do you think?
Marnles
Posted:
Member since
Re: Does anyone else feel this way?
Ladies- Thanks so much for your kind and thoughtful words!! Just reading them made me feel better. I went to see my mom today - it was great reminiscing with her about everything. She knows how I feel, and made me feel better too, so it was great to talk to her about it.
Thanks so much again.....and for those of you who offered a listening ear aside from this post - I may just take you up on that!!
P.S.- Debbie- I think your idea is not only touching, but also extremely thoughtful. My only fear is that it may upset her, which is not the reaction you are aiming for, especially during pics and the happiness of the day. Perhaps you can give her the pic the night before at the RD, with a few words and suggest she carry it in her bouquet? Either way, I think it such a thoughtful thing to do!!
Teri
Posted:
Member since
Re: Does anyone else feel this way?
Unfortunately, I know exactly how you feel. My dad passed away over 6 yrs ago and the closer my wedding day came, the more I became upset.
One the day before my wedding, I brought the bouquet of flowers from our RD to his grave. I didn't want to be upset on the big day, so it helped to go the day before. This sounds strange, but the forecast of my wedding day was supposed to be horrible, but the morning of my wedding it was so sunny and gorgeous, I knew it was his way of showing me he was there. My sister and I both knew it immediately! It made me so happy - even now when I look at the sunset pictures, I think of him. Hopefully you can remember him on your day for all the good things, and enjoy the best day of your life, knowing he's watching every minute
Marnles
Posted:
Member since
Re: Does anyone else feel this way?
Thanks Teri! I am just so afraid it's going to hit me walking down the aisle! Who walked you down and how were you?
Teri
Posted:
Member since
Re: Does anyone else feel this way?
That's the strange thing - I was nothing but happy when we arrived at the church. I really didn't want to be upset, but I had no idea how my emotions would be. It helped that I met my DH for pics beforehand, and that made us all more relaxed for the ceremony. As soon as we arrived I felt so amazingly calm!
My mom walked me down the isle - I considered asking my dad's brother, but that would have been way too emotional. Once we arrived at the reception, my uncle asked me to dance, which was sweet.
I just started to cry a little when my sister and I talked about the sunny weather and both knew it was him - I started to get all teary but my bridesmaid pulled me aside and I composed myself!
I was happy with how we acknowledged him - I added the Irish Blessing dedicated to him on the back of my programs, and I had pictures of my parents wedding party, as well as his parents on a table during the cocktail hour, which people enjoyed to see.
Are you planning to do anything aside from the dedication dance? That sounds like it will be very touching.
Marnles
Posted:
Member since
Re: Does anyone else feel this way?
We are having a separate candle during the ceremony, that my mom will light after she lights the taper of the unity candle. It is mentioned in the program what it signifies. It says:
On the altar you will see an extra candle placed near the unity candle. This flame represents the spiritual presence of Michael Sherman, the father of the bride. It symbolizes the constant path of light he has provided his little girl throughout her life, which has helped lead her to this wonderful day.
My brother will carry the candle down the aisle during the procession.
That was all I was planning on doing, but now I am considering carrying a pic of my dad in my bouquet.
