my bridal party consists of my 2 sisters who think that all they have to do is show up to my wedding wearing matching dresses and walk down the aisle, and NOTHING else.
I confronted them both about it and they got all hostile and defensive. One played the sympathy card b/c she's got some ailments and the other played the ignorance card and said that she doesn't know what to do b/c she's never been in a wedding before.
I'm just curious if anyone else is going through something similar.
ETA: I got into an argument with my mom about this last night and I said to her 'maybe I should have eloped' and she said 'yea, maybe you should have'.
Whoever said 'you find out who your 'friends' really are while planning a wedding' - is a genius! My sisters who are my MOH's are USELESS! and the nerve of me to confront them about it.
N.Y.bride
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Re: Does anyone else have this problem?
My sister is my MOH and comes here and there to appointments with me but thats it so far. What are they supposed to do? I know my FMIL said she was going to ask her about my bridal party b/c I dont think she knows shes supposed to help plan it.
ML110
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YES!! my sister is 2 years younger than me... shes 23, but shes a brat!! she isn't into the whole wedding thing at all, and doesn't understand any of it... anytime i say anything about the wedding, i get ' thats dumb! why do you have to that?' or ' why do you have to get that?' i'm like please just suck it up go with the flow- it'll be over in 2 months! also... i am in a wedding in august for my best friend of almost 20 years... and me and another of her BMs threw the shower- the other ones ( her cousin from SC, and his two sisters) did NOTHING- didnt even COME to the shower! so they seem to have the same attitude as your sisters do- just buy a dress and show up. except they don't have any excuse- his 2 sisters are older and both married so they know whats involoved.... ( her cousin i can understand cause she lives 12 hours away)
Mrs. dleeny
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Posted by N.Y.bride
My sister is my MOH and comes here and there to appointments with me but thats it so far. What are they supposed to do? I know my FMIL said she was going to ask her about my bridal party b/c I dont think she knows shes supposed to help plan it.
I'm not asking them to 'do' anything. I should have clarified that they just seem not to care, at all. One never calls me - except on my b-day (I'm not kidding) and the other one talk to me like I am a piece of you know what. She is SO nasty and downright cruel!!!
Mrs. dleeny
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Posted by ML110
YES!! my sister is 2 years younger than me... shes 23, but shes a brat!! she isn't into the whole wedding thing at all, and doesn't understand any of it... anytime i say anything about the wedding, i get ' thats dumb! why do you have to that?' or ' why do you have to get that?' i'm like please just suck it up go with the flow- it'll be over in 2 months! also... i am in a wedding in august for my best friend of almost 20 years... and me and another of her BMs threw the shower- the other ones ( her cousin from SC, and his two sisters) did NOTHING- didnt even COME to the shower! so they seem to have the same attitude as your sisters do- just buy a dress and show up. except they don't have any excuse- his 2 sisters are older and both married so they know whats involoved.... ( her cousin i can understand cause she lives 12 hours away)
I'm sorry to hear that... I totally feel for you and can commiserate.
I should also mention that my shower will be out of state - where FH is from and where 1/2 the wedding guests are. neither one of my sisters and maid's of honor will be at my shower.
halfpintny
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So sorry to hear about anything...wanna elope with me and we'll have a double destination wedding!!!!!!
One of my BMs had never been in a wedding before and for her birthday which was about two weeks after I got engaged, I got her one of those 'So you're a BM books' from Borders.
It is so true what they say about friends and weddings. To tell you the truth I have wanted to fire each and every one of them this past two weeks. If you MOH doesn't know what her duties are feel free to let her know!
N.Y.bride
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Mrs. dleeny
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So sorry to hear about anything...wanna elope with me and we'll have a double destination wedding!!!!!!
I might just take you up on that.
I guess there's nothing more I can do. I confronted them (in a non hostile way) and the bottom line is that I can't change people's characters. So I am forced to get over it and let it go, even though I am very unhappy about the situation. I guess they don't mind that the ONLY reason they're my MOH's is b/c they're my sisters, and for no other reason.
neither one of them has a single likeable quality. it's pathetic and makes me wonder how we even have the same blood.
designerbride
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I am having the same prob. It just seems like my closest friends & family don't care. Yet others really do. My sister is my MOH and rarely calls, almost misses appt's, and generally does not seem to care. She's out of work by choice (how's she gonna throw a shower, buy her dress, pay for shoes...?) I am sick of it, if she weren't my sister, I really would switch! It ***** B/C I feel thisis the time to become closer with the ones you love yet, I feel more removed than ever!
At least we can come here!
designerbride
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Posted by dleeny
Posted by ML110
YES!! my sister is 2 years younger than me... shes 23, but shes a brat!! she isn't into the whole wedding thing at all, and doesn't understand any of it... anytime i say anything about the wedding, i get ' thats dumb! why do you have to that?' or ' why do you have to get that?' i'm like please just suck it up go with the flow- it'll be over in 2 months!
Maybe It's a younger sister thing, mine is super spoiled, and basically only cares about herself.
Mrs. dleeny
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At least we can come here!
You got that right! I am so happy that I have LIW!!!!!!!!!!!!
designerbride
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Sorry to hi-jack your post, It's weird to see people with the same problems. I have been biting my tongue for too long. I'm sorry you all have to deal with this too. Like we don't have enough on our plates.
Mrs. dleeny
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Posted by designerbride
Sorry to hi-jack your post, It's weird to see people with the same problems. I have been biting my tongue for too long. I'm sorry you all have to deal with this too. Like we don't have enough on our plates.
The part that bothers me the most is when my mom told me last night to suck it up and move on.
06NovBride
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It's not my BMs that don't have any interest. It's my mother. I asked her to come with us when we were booking East Wind so we could show her the rooms and stuff and she said 'Nah I've already been there.' I also asked her to come dress shopping with me and she said no to that also. Luckily my BMs are my three sisters and they love coming with me. I can totally understand your frustration though.
halfpintny
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Posted by dleeny
Posted by designerbride
Sorry to hi-jack your post, It's weird to see people with the same problems. I have been biting my tongue for too long. I'm sorry you all have to deal with this too. Like we don't have enough on our plates.
The part that bothers me the most is when my mom told me last night to suck it up and move on.
Ha Ha Ha...don't even get ME started about moms!
designerbride
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Posted by dleeny
Posted by designerbride
Sorry to hi-jack your post, It's weird to see people with the same problems. I have been biting my tongue for too long. I'm sorry you all have to deal with this too. Like we don't have enough on our plates.
The part that bothers me the most is when my mom told me last night to suck it up and move on.
I don't understand that, maybe you should talk to her and tell that it hurt you. It shouldn't be like this.
Maybe you should tell them it's all called off & your are eloping, And they can't come! See what kind of response you get then! J/K
designerbride
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Ha Ha Ha...don't even get ME started about moms!
I was going to say the same thing!!!
Mrs. dleeny
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The part that bothers me the most is when my mom told me last night to suck it up and move on.
Ha Ha Ha...don't even get ME started about moms!
I know... I read you post from a few days ago about the flowers and your mom.... wow is all I can say!
my sisters are very selfish and self absorbed... it is always about them. and now when it is the one time that it should be 'about me', they apparently disagree, it's still all about them. One of them even said (and I quote) 'why can't I just show up at the wedding? I was a BM twice and that's all I ever did'.
clueless ** !!!
Mrs. dleeny
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I don't understand that, maybe you should talk to her and tell that it hurt you. It shouldn't be like this.
Maybe you should tell them it's all called off & your are eloping, And they can't come! See what kind of response you get then! J/K
I did try to talk to her, last night. That's when she told me that she's not getting in the middle and taking sides and that I need to suck it up and move on.
I guess I should have realized that even though it's my wedding, it's still all about my sisters (like it's always been)
designerbride
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That is horrible, I hate selfish people. I would just enjoy your planning and focus more on the positive folks out there (like your future husband)!
