FH is an only child, and he has never been in a situation where he hasn't been able to get what he wants.
He made a comment to me that if he can get a GPS that comes with different voices on it, he is goign to buy it. I mean, he doesn't even think twice about anything.
Here I am almost having to work 2 jobs, and he just buys whatever he wants b/c he makes more than I do.
Is that fair? How would you handle the situation?
I have even brought this up once while at dinner, I said 'Are we going to join our accounts?' and he said (jokingly) ' no, b/c I make more than you'. I mean, I am sure there is some truth to that, but it's not like I am going to go on $500 shopping sprees every week or something lol I would just like to know that it's OUR money.
I told him since he makes more money, he can pay all the bills then :-P
KittyGags
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Re: Does FH make more than you?
He makes almost 4 times what I make, which is disturbing because we do the same thing for a living!!!
And you betcha we're having a joint account. HAHAH jk. But seriously we are. We're going to look to buy a house after the wedding and i'm coming into the marriage with assets (an apartment) so it all evens out. Plus its a partnership, it shouldn't be a question unless your spending is out of control.
ETA--we live together now and he pays a higher portion of the bills that I do, but def not 4 times as much.
Autumn08
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Re: Does FH make more than you?
Uh no of course that's not fair!
I make more than FH and yes I do work hard for it so I don't feel bad if I want to get my hair done or splurge on a pedi. But I'm not frivolous with my spending. But at the same time if he wants something extra he gets it.
Basically we allow ourselvse some misc. spending and we don't go overbaord. And if FH really wants a new electronic toy, well that's what gifts are for!
You guys need to sit and figure out your financial goals and how you are going to work out your finances.
DnY
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Re: Does FH make more than you?
My fh makes a lot more than I do and currently pays for all the home expenses. I take care of my own bills. Once we are married we plan on having a joint account to pay bills with, I will be contributing much less than he will into the account.
Mawa
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Re: Does FH make more than you?
Yes, he makes way more than I do. I definitely make good money, but he makes about 3x what I do. He pays the majority of the rent, and pays our apartment bills (cable, etc). He also pays for pretty much everything we do, dinner, vacations, etc...
Your FH has to realize you are in a partnership and that if he has the means, he needs to help support you. Not spend money on whatever he wants, while you have to struggle...
SummerBride10
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Re: Does FH make more than you?
He make more than me...but I also have to pay back student loans. He's really good about paying for stuff.
Kricket212
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Re: Does FH make more than you?
We bought our house in Jan 2008 & to this date FH has not asked me for a dime......he just keeps telling me pay for school & save. I guess I am lucky. ... super lucky.
I love my johnnnnny!!!
queenschic
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Re: Does FH make more than you?
FH makes more than i do, a lot more. But everything is SHARED, so in the end, there is no 'his' money 'my' money, its ours, so it doesnt matter. As long as their is open communication about how money is spent and there is no resentment, i dont think one spouse making more/less should be an issue.
SFAR89
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Re: Does FH make more than you?
Yeah, I think we will have to have this talk again and do what you guys said about the percentage. I think that will work out. I just got a pay raise so that is going to help out a bit.
Thank you all for your advice, it really helped
lila
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Re: Does FH make more than you?
DH makes more than me right now..... about double, since I'm still in school but I will make at least double his salary next year... although I dont know how long that will last.
We're sharing everything and looking at this as a partnership
Kristina2009
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Re: Does FH make more than you?
Posted by MrsCastanedain09
I make more than FH, he often brings up that he wants to take another job to match me....I always say that it's our money.
All money will go into our joint account. We will transfer x percentage of the combined total to savings/investments/special vacation (or whatever special treat we're saving for) pay bills and as far as the balance- whatever makes him and I happy.
I would expect the same in return if he made more.
I am in the same situation and agree with you 100%. We will take that same approach.
JennyAPH
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Re: Does FH make more than you?
I make almost twice as much as him... yet he has twice as many expenses as me..Since we live together we have already combined accounts and share everything.
Nuvia97
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Re: Does FH make more than you?
Right now FH makes much more than me so we try and compromise on money going into joint wedding acct (he can contribute more than I can) and have also decided to maintain the joint acct after wedding for household bills and each of us having a separate account where we can take money for our own things.
Sometimes I feel bad that I cannot contribute as much but I have school loans, CC debt (that I am trying to pay off before wedding since I will be going back to grad school so no working), but FH appreciates that I can be quite 'frugal' at times....
He even sometimes wants me to treat myself more often (cut out weekly mani/pedi to have more $$ for wedding acct, eating lunch out at work, etc.)
Its a sacrifice but its good to know FH and I are on same page.
lizzie217
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Re: Does FH make more than you?
I make a good salary but FH does makes a lot more. Never has he rubbed this in my face. Whats his is mine and vice versa.
Maybe FH is teasing or kidding around with you but it sounds like it bothers you..so I would tell him to cut it out asap!
As far as bills we split them and stuff but he does pay more bc he does make more lol.
jtgarsik
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Re: Does FH make more than you?
honestly, i'm not even going to post my view only because i feel it's a very personal choice..i think everyone feels different about this & come to different aggreements with their spouses..as long as the two of you end up on the same page, that's what matters. what i WILL say, is that u & ur FH need to talk and settle this now rather then later...putting a hold on important things like this untill after marraige can make for a really rough 1st year full of unnessecary arguments, adjustments and such. tell him how u feel (without fighting of course) whether it be joint, some joint - and some separate, totally separate, etc. hope it works out!
jtgarsik
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Re: Does FH make more than you?
ps: yes dh makes more then me...everything is joint.
KimiDanny1010
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Re: Does FH make more than you?
Right now I'm not working...(focusing on finishing nursing school)
FH has a very good job..pays for his house and all his bills on his own...
when we get married I'll be making good money as a nurse so what we are going to do is have joint accounts... we have one now but we're just using that to save money for the wedding
meli722
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Re: Does FH make more than you?
yep he makes around double what i make, sad i know lol, but thats with Overtime, which he gets every single week anyway, he works like a dog....but it doesnt bother me.
we have seprate accounts, only account that is joint is for the wedding, we both put $$ into it each pay check. he pays the rent, i pay the smaller bills like cable, food etc.
works out fine
MyLobster
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Re: Does FH make more than you?
I make more than FH. We have a joint bank account and all of our money goes into it. I pay the bills and take care of the finances. I would NEVER spend $ without FH knowing about it or getting his approval just like he does with me. Even though I make more, it is OUR money. I think it's just respectful.
Nurse12985
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Re: Does FH make more than you?
I make more right now... and it ***** to be on this end also. We are going to combine everything soon. I offer to help him out sometimes and he gets annoyed because it makes him feel less manly. He's so old fashioned and thinks he should be taking care of me. It makes me feel bad but I can demote myself at work for the sake of his manhood so he needs to get over it.
JenBill61210
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Re: Does FH make more than you?
we make around the same base salary, but he gets a lot of overtime and night differential... so he ends up making more overall. He is really good about putting his extra money he makes from overtime or where ever into our 'wedding fund' joint savings account. I put in a little bit of my paycheck into our account each month as well.
