Don't assume

I called my 2 good friends from out of state to tell them that I got engaged (6/1). Since then (I know, it's only been about 2 weeks) they have both told me that their paretns are so excited and can't wait to come to the wedding....HUH? Is it me? I am I the only one who thinks that is rude? I have never assumed that I was invited to any wedding, especially inviting MY parents. I really hope I am not over-reacting. But now how do I explain to then that their parents are not invited? I know I have time for this (we are getting married in 2008), but I would like to feel better about this situation now. Any suggestions ladies? TIA

Re: Don't assume

This happened to me too. It made me nuts.

I just invited the 'assumed' guests. At the end of it all, we had more no's than we thought so it wasn't a big deal.

Re: Don't assume

If they keep bringing it up I would tell them that you are on a budget and have a limited amount of people you can invite and want to keep it to family and very close friends.

Re: Don't assume

I think it has happened to every person planning their wedding. It was irritating when people assumed that they were invited to our wedding. I simply would say in that situation, 'We are planning on having an intimate wedding with only close family and friends.' That way it saves peoples feelings and is a polite way to tell them they or whomever they assumed was invited is not.

Re: Don't assume

This is what my mother suggested (invite the parents). The one friend, she invited my parents so I would invite hers. My other firend isn't married.
It just bothered me how they just added how excited they were and their parents can't wait either and they need a vacation

Re: Don't assume

Yeah, people get weird around engagement time. Same thing happened to us. People that I don't even know we saying stuff like 'don't put me too close to the dj' and stuff like that. You definitely should not assume!

Re: Don't assume

i would just tell them that as much as you would like their parents to be there (even if its not true), you have to limit your guest list and unfortunately cannot invite them.

Re: Don't assume

the same thing happened to me on a few occasions. A couple of the people I wound up putting on the list just because it was easier than dealing with it, but some others I just couldn't. I don't know why people make assumptions - drives me crazy!!! Currently, I know there are a bunch of people I work with that think they'll be getting an invite...oops...they won't be!

Re: Don't assume

same thing has been happening to me and people have begun to invite themselves..cute!!!!
I will deal with it when invitation time comes :)

Re: Don't assume

I *thought* the same thing happened to me - but then I found out that FMIL had been telling them they're invited!

People are crazy these days...i wouldn't put anything past them.

Re: Don't assume

Thank you all so much. I was hoping it wasn't ME that was being unfair. My FH has a HUGE family..so that is going to be a challenge in itself

Re: Don't assume

This happened to me as well, and I just tell people that I would love to invite everyone but we both have big families that we ahve to consider 1st.

Re: Don't assume

don't worry - that happened to me too. . . i recently got a new job - and a lot of people from my old one assumed they would be invited - which is odd because I am only inviting like 10 people from my NEW job ( i have been here a year now)

This is my suggestion - some people may find it tacky but it has been done to me and I appreciated the gesture ( ESPECIALLY now that I am engaged)

A few months before the wedding if some people still think they are going to be invited - i am going to kindly explain that i am trying to have a small wedding but i would really be honored if they wanted to come to the church and share in the ceremony - and then leave it up to them . . .

but i am definitely going to do it before i send invitations out so they aren't waiting for an invitiation or even buying dresses!

i hope it goes well if i end up having to do that!

Re: Don't assume

i think it happends to all of us. But i grew up always hearing you invite your 'close' friends parents. So thats what im doing...3 girldfriends i went to school with..and 2 are in my wedding i'll be inviting them all. After that we just cant! They can assume all they want...bc it will only make a a-hole outta them not me!! LOL

Re: Don't assume

Happens to me all the time. Basically I say, You know we are having a very small/initimate wedding and we are just keeping it to immediate family and our friends, no paretns. Most understand

Re: Don't assume

I say that if they 'assume' then just dont send them an invite andlet them realize it on their own. It will make them feel uncomfortable not you. If they ask you then just be honest with them and tell them that you had to limit the # of guests. hope this isnt too rude.

Re: Don't assume

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Posted by Katie&Chris2006

Currently, I know there are a bunch of people I work with that think they'll be getting an invite...oops...they won't be!

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OMG, SAME HERE!!!!!!!! I DID put them on the 'B' list, though!