Don’t mean to get all pessimistic but…..

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

LOL i think about it all the time.... Sad to say but the facts dont lie.... half of us on this site will be divorced down the line...

people dont realize it takes work and some just look for the easy way out.... the work should also have begun waaay before the wedding day.... this is another reason why we feel its a MUST to live together before you're married... to see if you can deal with each others quirks on a daily basis

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i don't think its a MUST to live with ur FH b4 getting married. Both sets of my grandparents never lived together before they were married and they were happily married up until my grandfathers passed away a couple years ago. living together is just something that is more popular and accepted in out times. the divorce rate is thu the ceiling and i'm sure plenty of these couples lived together prior to the wedding. it could help i guesss but i don't believe it's going to hurt my marriage b/c i don't and don't plan on living w/ FH before.

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Posted by novia26

There is no such thing as a 'formula' for a successful marriage that applies to all of us.
I think what happens is people don't take the time or effort to nurture their relationship on a day to day basis, and so their unity becomes to deteriorate.
If we put as much thought in to our marriages as we do to our weddings, there wouldn't be that many failed marriages. I was speaking to this guy who is thinking of leaving his wife. He told me that after the wedding, he and his wife slowly stopped doing things together, talking, and they have seperate groups of friends. The point I got out of this is that for a bond to last, you have to keep reinforcing what made you get together in the first place....to put in simple terms: marriage is like a machine, it works great when its new without you having to worry about it...but as time goes on, it needs proper care and a couple of tune ups to keep running.

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i like this analogy

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Posted by redvelvet

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

LOL i think about it all the time.... Sad to say but the facts dont lie.... half of us on this site will be divorced down the line...

people dont realize it takes work and some just look for the easy way out.... the work should also have begun waaay before the wedding day.... this is another reason why we feel its a MUST to live together before you're married... to see if you can deal with each others quirks on a daily basis

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i don't think its a MUST to live with ur FH b4 getting married. Both sets of my grandparents never lived together before they were married and they were happily married up until my grandfathers passed away a couple years ago. living together is just something that is more popular and accepted in out times. the divorce rate is thu the ceiling and i'm sure plenty of these couples lived together prior to the wedding. it could help i guesss but i don't believe it's going to hurt my marriage b/c i don't and don't plan on living w/ FH before.

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dont take it personal... wasnt directed at any of you that dont plan on living together beforehand... its just OUR thought on it...

and btw, divorce is at an all time high b/c its more 'accepted' now.... people our grandparents age.... that just wasnt even an option/consideration... chances are my grandparents woulda gotten divorced but this was just not the norm back then like it is today

As someone who is divorced I can honestly say that I never imagined that I would get divorced. My ex and I knew each other since 6th grade and lived together for 3 years before getting engaged. As we both grew as individuals we grew apart...way apart. Life sometimes takes you and your partner in different directions. I am fortunate enough to be able to say that ex and I are still on good terms-I still hang out with his sister-he is getting married in October and I am getting married next October.

As for thinking that divorce is the easy way out and marriage is hard, they are both hard. Being divorced makes you feel like a failure and doubt that you are worth being married to.

I learned a lot about myself and life from my first marriage and I believe that it has made me a better person and I will be an even better partner and wife.

I know what you mean about divorce. It's so sad how people enter these relationships so in love and ready to conquer the world together and then next minute you know, they are in these unhappy relationships. It's so scary. And then I also hate all these people who are cheating on their husband or wife. It's so messed up.
I guess you just have to make sure you communicate, big key. And also I think it's VERY important to listen. Sometimes we talk so much, we forget to listen to what our mate is saying. I also think it's important to enter the marriage not because you want to be married, but because you can't picture your life without that person. I think sometimes people are so in a rush to get married they settle for the first person who asks them instead of waiting for the right person. I know I found my soulmate and I can't wait to spend the rest of life with him. He always tells me, there's no turning back now, it's you and me forever!!!

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Posted by Jamys

I know what you mean about divorce. It's so sad how people enter these relationships so in love and ready to conquer the world together and then next minute you know, they are in these unhappy relationships. It's so scary. And then I also hate all these people who are cheating on their husband or wife. It's so messed up.
I guess you just have to make sure you communicate, big key. And also I think it's VERY important to listen. Sometimes we talk so much, we forget to listen to what our mate is saying. I also think it's important to enter the marriage not because you want to be married, but because you can't picture your life without that person. I think sometimes people are so in a rush to get married they settle for the first person who asks them instead of waiting for the right person. I know I found my soulmate and I can't wait to spend the rest of life with him. He always tells me, there's no turning back now, it's you and me forever!!!

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awwww.. you know our officiant asked us 'so why are you gettin married' and that question totally threw us for a loop... i think it was always so natural for us that we'd be together for a realy long time that we never consdered the real reason behind it .... and then when we thought about it, we came up with the same reason as you... 'you cant pic your life with anyone else' and its really so sweet!

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Posted by novia26

There is no such thing as a 'formula' for a successful marriage that applies to all of us.
I think what happens is people don't take the time or effort to nurture their relationship on a day to day basis, and so their unity becomes to deteriorate.
If we put as much thought in to our marriages as we do to our weddings, there wouldn't be that many failed marriages. I was speaking to this guy who is thinking of leaving his wife. He told me that after the wedding, he and his wife slowly stopped doing things together, talking, and they have seperate groups of friends. The point I got out of this is that for a bond to last, you have to keep reinforcing what made you get together in the first place....to put in simple terms: marriage is like a machine, it works great when its new without you having to worry about it...but as time goes on, it needs proper care and a couple of tune ups to keep running.

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Wow, that's is so right!!! Marriage takes two and it takes a lot of work on both ends.

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Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz

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Posted by Jamys

I know what you mean about divorce. It's so sad how people enter these relationships so in love and ready to conquer the world together and then next minute you know, they are in these unhappy relationships. It's so scary. And then I also hate all these people who are cheating on their husband or wife. It's so messed up.
I guess you just have to make sure you communicate, big key. And also I think it's VERY important to listen. Sometimes we talk so much, we forget to listen to what our mate is saying. I also think it's important to enter the marriage not because you want to be married, but because you can't picture your life without that person. I think sometimes people are so in a rush to get married they settle for the first person who asks them instead of waiting for the right person. I know I found my soulmate and I can't wait to spend the rest of life with him. He always tells me, there's no turning back now, it's you and me forever!!!

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awwww.. you know our officiant asked us 'so why are you gettin married' and that question totally threw us for a loop... i think it was always so natural for us that we'd be together for a realy long time that we never consdered the real reason behind it .... and then when we thought about it, we came up with the same reason as you... 'you cant pic your life with anyone else' and its really so sweet!

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Awh, you gave me chills. That's what's so great about being with the right person, there are so many moments where you get chills.

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Posted by Jamys

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Posted by novia26

There is no such thing as a 'formula' for a successful marriage that applies to all of us.
I think what happens is people don't take the time or effort to nurture their relationship on a day to day basis, and so their unity becomes to deteriorate.
If we put as much thought in to our marriages as we do to our weddings, there wouldn't be that many failed marriages. I was speaking to this guy who is thinking of leaving his wife. He told me that after the wedding, he and his wife slowly stopped doing things together, talking, and they have seperate groups of friends. The point I got out of this is that for a bond to last, you have to keep reinforcing what made you get together in the first place....to put in simple terms: marriage is like a machine, it works great when its new without you having to worry about it...but as time goes on, it needs proper care and a couple of tune ups to keep running.

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Wow, that's is so right!!! Marriage takes two and it takes a lot of work on both ends.

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And when one person stops doing the work it is up to the other to decide if that is a situation they want to stay in.