Don't mind me - Im just venting!

Does anyone here feel as if their bridal party is really lacking in the enthusiasm department?

I am having a hard time (probably more mental than anything else) but it bother me enough to upset me. We got engaged about 6 months ago (give or take a week). My bridal party was all thought out and asked within a week or two of our engagement. Yes, of course, they were thrilled for us and I know they all love us. They are all busy women - a couple with kids -who lead full and busy lives. Why is it that I feel guilty every time I need them for something? Like I am putting them out.

For example, two of them are the mothers of the flower girls and despite emails and phone calls, I have yet been able to coordinate a day with the two of them to shop for or order dresses (if I have to)for the girls. I feel like every time I call, its a chore and it shouldnt be that way.

I am watching some of the Jan and Feb brides speak of showers and others getting stuff together that I should have done. I thought by now, they would have asked me for my shower list and they havent.

Despite what you see from me here on the boards, I am not a Bridezilla. I never told them what to wear. I make ZERO demands. I am not unreasonable. I have made the experience thus far, quite easy. Maybe THAT was the problem. Maybe I should have been more obnoxious but I didnt want to be a stereotype.

FH doesnt get it. I get little if any sympathy from him. His bachelor party is already planned and scheduled for Vegas in January. So he is happy. Football season is still going strong in Jan. He will be in Sin City having a rip roaring good time. (He should have his time too. Don't get me wrong)

OK so I am whining and sounding like a brat, but maybe I want SOMEONE to make a fuss over me.

i don't think you are being a brat, i think your rant is perfectly justified. this is what is difficult about weddings, no one ever gets as excited about it as you and fh do. yes they love you and want to be a part of your day, but when it comes down to the not so fun part, they duck and run. you are not alone and you are not being a brat.

OMG I totally hear you........... I feel the same way sometimes.... I am sorry...

one bm i had to nag and nag to go for a fitting. the only time she came with me for my dress was when we bought it and picked it up. when i started the fitting, she had a wedding that was fine. the other times, i don't know

OH BOY!! I am right there with you on this one... but only about ONE of my BM's. Every other BM and I are constantly in touch, whether it be through emails, calls, or I see them, EXCEPT for this one. I'm not trying to sound like a bridezilla because it's not a case of me wanting any of them to do anything for me. It's just about keeping in touch, seeing how everything's going, catching up, etc. I don't even hear from her just to say 'hi, how are you?'. It's so disappointing and I feel I made a big mistake asking her to be one of the BM's so soon.

I am seriously thinking about telling her that I don't want her to be a BM if she doesn't start acting like a friend.

Hey Leslie:

I know how you feel... BELIEVE ME! I went as far as to ask one of my BM to step down because I felt that she showed no interest or even cared about my wedding. People are weird sometimes. If I was asked to be in a BP, I would feel completely honored, but thats just me

Im sure things will get better as it gets closer to the wedding

Ok I am SO right there with all of you. For the most part my MOH, and future sister in law (brother's fiance) are very enthusiastic about the wedding. I also have one cousin who is extra happy about being in the bridal party but she is at college right now and is in nursing school. BUT, others (and I cant name who because I fear snoopers) have shown little interest in the wedding. AND the interest that has been shown has been COMPLAINTS...NOT to my face though..usually to others and then it gets back to me.

So, I took the initiative and sent out an e-mail to all of the BMs so that everyone is aware of what is going on as far as the dresses, hair, and makeup. Most of the girls were very enthusiastic but I had 2 girls who could give a crap about being in the wedding. I had one BM complain that I sent the e-mail too early because 'its too early to think about this stuff'. The same BM said that I sounded like a Bi**H in the e-mail because I mentioned that I dont want the girls to look washed out in the pics if they dont get their makeup done (Just suggesting that IF they dont get their makeup done, that they do it 'up' a little more for the wedding).

I am SOOO frustrated I feel like I tried and now I have MORE people talking SH** about me then ever before because I am trying to inform all of my girls about the wedding!!! Errggggg

Ok--I will slowly step off of my soap box now..thank you for joining me

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Posted by SIBride06

Hey Leslie:

I know how you feel... BELIEVE ME! I went as far as to ask one of my BM to step down because I felt that she showed no interest or even cared about my wedding. People are weird sometimes. If I was asked to be in a BP, I would feel completely honored, but thats just me

Im sure things will get better as it gets closer to the wedding

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WOW!! How did you find the strength to ask her to step down? I need some advice cuz I fear that's where I may be headed! Did she still come to the wedding?? How did she behave? That's my fear... if I ask her to step down and then she makes a spectical at the wedding. Oh, and my FH could care less!!

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way right now. I see your frustration with the flowergirls moms making you feel like it's a chore going to look for dresses. They made the committment for their children to be in your wedding party and while they might be busy, they need to honor the committment and not cause you any unecessary stress.

Idon't have this with my bridal party but my family gets to me sometimes. I'll be talking about something serious or somethings that's worrying me about the wedding and next thing I know, someones making a joke. You know, giving me unrealistic solutions. Once one starts then the next one chimes in and it's really frustrating.

Hang in there, hopefully they'll get with the program and thing will get better

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Posted by johnsae

yes - I feel the same way! Most of my bridal party (everyone besides the MOH) failed to get us an engagement gift. And one of my bm's is my fsil and she has yet to show any enthusiasm, and yes - all my girls are busy too, but my feelings are hurt that they haven't been more involved.

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everyone but my moh got us an engagement present..at my engagement party she disappeared..turned out that she decided to go home to her boyfriends instead and left the party an hour after it started..oh and i forgot to mention she goes to school in buffalo and insisted that if she were going to come to the party at all that i pay for her airfare. she hasnt spoken to any of the bm's, hates every dress i show her and demands i do red dresses, insists if i do pink she will not wear it..but i dont know how to ask her to step it up...

My BP has three 35 year old women. They arent new at this. Thats why it makes things harder for me.

I just got off the phone with one of them and she agrees that we cant dilly dally and I should just order the dresses. Well at least thats a move in the right direction.

I feel the same way. I am the very last in my circle of friends to get married and I feel like most could care less b/c they are so busy with other things. My MOH is preggeres and although I am so happy for them, I feel that she could care less about what is going on.

Maybe if I got knocked up people would pay me more attention!!!

LESLIE....

What do you need done?!?!?

The 06ers will throw you a PARRRRTYyyyyy

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Posted by Jen2999

LESLIE....

What do you need done?!?!?

The 06ers will throw you a PARRRRTYyyyyy

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I think I need to take a day off and hang out with Fred and his cone and everything will be A-OK.

There is actually very little I need for them to do other than help out with FG dresses. I was hoping I wouldnt have to drop hints left and right about a shower but now I have fully decided to let FH drop the hints. Either him or my SIL will do it. I think this is G-ds way of punishing me for not having any sisters in the BP (his or mine).

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Posted by MayBride06

I feel the same way. I am the very last in my circle of friends to get married and I feel like most could care less b/c they are so busy with other things. My MOH is preggeres and although I am so happy for them, I feel that she could care less about what is going on.

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See, that's what really gets me. Do they not remember how excited they were about their own weddings and how important it was to them?

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Posted by Goldi1021

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Posted by Jen2999

LESLIE....

What do you need done?!?!?

The 06ers will throw you a PARRRRTYyyyyy

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I think I need to take a day off and hang out with Fred and his cone and everything will be A-OK.

There is actually very little I need for them to do other than help out with FG dresses. I was hoping I wouldnt have to drop hints left and right about a shower but now I have fully decided to let FH drop the hints. Either him or my SIL will do it. I think this is G-ds way of punishing me for not having any sisters in the BP (his or mine).

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Here you go.. this is what my mom sends me on my phone today...

BAD PUP

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Posted by smm2675

i don't think you are being a brat, i think your rant is perfectly justified. this is what is difficult about weddings, no one ever gets as excited about it as you and fh do. yes they love you and want to be a part of your day, but when it comes down to the not so fun part, they duck and run. you are not alone and you are not being a brat.

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You are not a brat! Because if you are I am too! I have to agree with smm2675 people want to be part of the DAY not the preparations!

hang in there, I'm sure a lot of us are in the same boat! I know I am, I guess we just have to support each other.