Does anyone here feel as if their bridal party is really lacking in the enthusiasm department?
I am having a hard time (probably more mental than anything else) but it bother me enough to upset me. We got engaged about 6 months ago (give or take a week). My bridal party was all thought out and asked within a week or two of our engagement. Yes, of course, they were thrilled for us and I know they all love us. They are all busy women - a couple with kids -who lead full and busy lives. Why is it that I feel guilty every time I need them for something? Like I am putting them out.
For example, two of them are the mothers of the flower girls and despite emails and phone calls, I have yet been able to coordinate a day with the two of them to shop for or order dresses (if I have to)for the girls. I feel like every time I call, its a chore and it shouldnt be that way.
I am watching some of the Jan and Feb brides speak of showers and others getting stuff together that I should have done. I thought by now, they would have asked me for my shower list and they havent.
Despite what you see from me here on the boards, I am not a Bridezilla. I never told them what to wear. I make ZERO demands. I am not unreasonable. I have made the experience thus far, quite easy. Maybe THAT was the problem. Maybe I should have been more obnoxious but I didnt want to be a stereotype.
FH doesnt get it. I get little if any sympathy from him. His bachelor party is already planned and scheduled for Vegas in January. So he is happy. Football season is still going strong in Jan. He will be in Sin City having a rip roaring good time. (He should have his time too. Don't get me wrong)
OK so I am whining and sounding like a brat, but maybe I want SOMEONE to make a fuss over me.
Goldi1021
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Re: Don't mind me - Im just venting!
Posted by Jen2999
Posted by Goldi1021
Posted by Jen2999
LESLIE....
What do you need done?!?!?
The 06ers will throw you a PARRRRTYyyyyy
I think I need to take a day off and hang out with Fred and his cone and everything will be A-OK.
There is actually very little I need for them to do other than help out with FG dresses. I was hoping I wouldnt have to drop hints left and right about a shower but now I have fully decided to let FH drop the hints. Either him or my SIL will do it. I think this is G-ds way of punishing me for not having any sisters in the BP (his or mine).
Here you go.. this is what my mom sends me on my phone today...
BAD PUP
If you ever need a FRED SITTER, I AM SO THERE!!!
FRED FOR LIW MASCOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jen2999
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Re: Don't mind me - Im just venting!
Posted by Goldi1021
Posted by Jen2999
Posted by Goldi1021
Posted by Jen2999
LESLIE....
What do you need done?!?!?
The 06ers will throw you a PARRRRTYyyyyy
I think I need to take a day off and hang out with Fred and his cone and everything will be A-OK.
There is actually very little I need for them to do other than help out with FG dresses. I was hoping I wouldnt have to drop hints left and right about a shower but now I have fully decided to let FH drop the hints. Either him or my SIL will do it. I think this is G-ds way of punishing me for not having any sisters in the BP (his or mine).
Here you go.. this is what my mom sends me on my phone today...
BAD PUP
If you ever need a FRED SITTER, I AM SO THERE!!!
FRED FOR LIW MASCOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously.. he is evil.. spawn of ***** but so cute I cant help but love him.
We are researching trainers and think we found one but we need to save money
Kris516
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Re: Don't mind me - Im just venting!
I definitely have some 'degenerate BMs', but I cant expect all of them to be as into it as I am. I have learned to talk wedding with w/ my mom, and friends who are also engaged.
It def stinks that your BP isn't stepping up, but continue to push them to ensure your deadlines are met. Hopefully your FH has gotten the hint, and is on the shower crusade for you. If not, and I've said this before, I'm with Jen, we will throw you a Shower!
Hang in there, and don't feel as though g-d is punishing you for anything. It sounds as though you deserve nothing but happiness.
Goldi1021
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Re: Don't mind me - Im just venting!
Thanks. Its weird. Its not that I want presents or anything. I just wanna be loved is that so wrong? LMAO!!!!
MayBride06
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Re: Don't mind me - Im just venting!
Posted by wendy1220
Posted by MayBride06
I feel the same way. I am the very last in my circle of friends to get married and I feel like most could care less b/c they are so busy with other things. My MOH is preggeres and although I am so happy for them, I feel that she could care less about what is going on.
See, that's what really gets me. Do they not remember how excited they were about their own weddings and how important it was to them?
what really gets me is that she tells me that the little thing don't really matter b/c people really do not notice the details. Did I tell her that when I was her MOH helping her make bathroom baskets? I just plan on doing it myself. I have stopped telling any one ideas for fear they will saY, BUT SHOULDN'T YOU BE SAVING FOR A HOUSE?
Goldi1021
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Re: Don't mind me - Im just venting!
Posted by MayBride06
Posted by wendy1220
Posted by MayBride06
I feel the same way. I am the very last in my circle of friends to get married and I feel like most could care less b/c they are so busy with other things. My MOH is preggeres and although I am so happy for them, I feel that she could care less about what is going on.
See, that's what really gets me. Do they not remember how excited they were about their own weddings and how important it was to them?
what really gets me is that she tells me that the little thing don't really matter b/c people really do not notice the details. Did I tell her that when I was her MOH helping her make bathroom baskets? I just plan on doing it myself. I have stopped telling any one ideas for fear they will saY, BUT SHOULDN'T YOU BE SAVING FOR A HOUSE?
By the way, I NOTICE DETAILS and last I checked, I am a person! I notice things like hand calligraphy, flimsy card stock on invites, how nicely the watermelon is carved into kissing doves (though I think it is tacky as all hell personally), which bridesmaid had crappy alterations and whether or not the bathroom basket has Advil, Aspirin AND Tylenol because my sensitive tummy cannot take anything else but Tylenol. Point is, I NOTICE!!!
evnme
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Re: Don't mind me - Im just venting!
this is why i am doing everything for the wedding.
i've been getting wind of some drama about planning my shower.... fh let some stuff slip..
FrogGirl0917
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Re: Don't mind me - Im just venting!
my BMs aren't even on the island...well just one is. ..... understandably my fsil lives upstate (outside new paltz), and my cousin is away at college, but my MOH moved to NEW MEXICO!!!!!!!!! Luckily she's a teacher so she can come here like all summer, but its so frustrating....
actually my boss wants to throw me a wild bachelorette party!! so I don't have to worry about that!
Goldi1021
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Re: Don't mind me - Im just venting!
All of my BMs are local. Fantastic.
October Bliss
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Re: Don't mind me - Im just venting!
Two of my three girls are out of town. I have now been waiting since Sept 17 for them to try on the dress I picked and get measured. One of them is the mother of my FG. If getting her to try on a BM dress is this difficult, I can't imagine what kind of hassle it will be finding one for her daughter.
My MOH is a new mother. I had to bribe her to get her out to try on the dresses I picked out before I could email a pic to the other girls. She keeps telling me I have a year and to just chill out.
BKtoLI
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Re: Don't mind me - Im just venting!
I completely hear you, and trust me, Leslie, you are loved!!!!! (At least by your fellow cheese lovers here!!!)
I am in the same boat. No one has been calling me AT ALL and yet my MOH and one BM STILL have yet to order their dresses, and I am running out of time. I told Andrew I really don't want to crack the whip, but I'm not going to have a choice.
I have bad timing. 2 of my BMs just gave birth to their first child. My MOH just bought her first house and moved upstate a month ago. My other BM is in Manhattan and is busy partying. I feel like I can't talk to anyone about anything because everyone has something major going on in their lives. Which is why this board has been a great relief for me.
Don't be surprised if your shower ends up being around the holidays when the family will be together. Even if they don't ask for the list, I would give it to them anyway, and say that it's just in case they need it. That should be the biggest hint they need that you want a shower!!!
But I will give you lots of these!!!
Goldi1021
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Re: Don't mind me - Im just venting!
Posted by BKtoLI
Don't be surprised if your shower ends up being around the holidays when the family will be together. Even if they don't ask for the list, I would give it to them anyway, and say that it's just in case they need it. That should be the biggest hint they need that you want a shower!!!
But I will give you lots of these!!!
Aww Janna you are too sweet. And I cant even BEGIN to tell you how many cheese related products are on my registry.
You may be right about a holiday shower but I tend to doubt it for a couple of reasons:
1) My family is not easy to round up - 2/3 my siblings are long married and are often with in-laws. We have seasonal gatherings lumping holidays with winter birthdays (i.e. a B'day cake for my brother's Oct. at Rosh Hashanah and for my Mom's Dec. B'day at Chanukah) because of this.
2)My brothers children from his first marriage are only with him every other weekend and THUS cuts all possible shower days in half. I had to arrange for a BP luncheon over 2 months in advance to accommodate my brother's custody of my nieces (which I was more than happy to do - but despite the numerous times I told this to the ADULTS in my BP, they have yet to start organizing anything.)
4)A location would have to be chosen and invites mailed within a week or two. Without a guest list (that only I have access to), it aint happening. NOBODY else could compile my list. I have many groups of people that do not intermingle (work, college, post-college, family not to mention FH's side) and I surely would not expect every woman on the invitation list to be invited.
Tell me the truth though. Do you think it would be NERVE-Y or BALLS-Y of me to assume they are making a shower by sending them a list? Or should I just say SCREW-IT and do it anyway. OR am I possibly setting myself up for a let-down. I feel like I am going above and beyond to make things easy for them financially and time-wise. I even told them months ago to get a couple dozen bagels with cream cheese, coffee and juice and use my mom's basement. This isnt a money thing.
