Re: drama with 6 days away REALL!

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Posted by JAAMS

I haven't posted in quite awhile, but this made me fume. As someone who has lost all of her grandparents to cancer and who has watched her mother fight cancer for the past 14 years, I can say that this comes across as one of the most insensitive posts I've ever read.

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I think you are misreading the information. She is not upset that her aunt has cancer and can't be in the wedding. She is upset that her aunt hid the fact that she was sick from everyone & only decided to tell her 1 week prior to the wedding over a text - that is pretty serious news to handle over a text when her family is so close & especially one week before her wedding. It happened out of the blue, had she known about the cancer early, I'm sure she would not be upset as she would know this was coming.

I hope everything workds out for you & your wedding will be perfect! It's about you & your husband - for that one day - enjoy it!
Prayers for your aunt - I'm sure you will work it out

Re: drama with 6 days away REALL!

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Posted by RussianBride

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Posted by JAAMS

I haven't posted in quite awhile, but this made me fume. As someone who has lost all of her grandparents to cancer and who has watched her mother fight cancer for the past 14 years, I can say that this comes across as one of the most insensitive posts I've ever read.

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I think you are misreading the information. She is not upset that her aunt has cancer and can't be in the wedding. She is upset that her aunt hid the fact that she was sick from everyone & only decided to tell her 1 week prior to the wedding over a text - that is pretty serious news to handle over a text when her family is so close & especially one week before her wedding. It happened out of the blue, had she known about the cancer early, I'm sure she would not be upset as she would know this was coming.

I hope everything workds out for you & your wedding will be perfect! It's about you & your husband - for that one day - enjoy it!
Prayers for your aunt - I'm sure you will work it out

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You're right. Cancer is serious news...so people reveal it when they are ready to do so.

Re: drama with 6 days away REALL!

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Posted by JAAMS

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Posted by RussianBride

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Posted by JAAMS

I haven't posted in quite awhile, but this made me fume. As someone who has lost all of her grandparents to cancer and who has watched her mother fight cancer for the past 14 years, I can say that this comes across as one of the most insensitive posts I've ever read.

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I think you are misreading the information. She is not upset that her aunt has cancer and can't be in the wedding. She is upset that her aunt hid the fact that she was sick from everyone & only decided to tell her 1 week prior to the wedding over a text - that is pretty serious news to handle over a text when her family is so close & especially one week before her wedding. It happened out of the blue, had she known about the cancer early, I'm sure she would not be upset as she would know this was coming.

I hope everything workds out for you & your wedding will be perfect! It's about you & your husband - for that one day - enjoy it!
Prayers for your aunt - I'm sure you will work it out

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You're right. Cancer is serious news...so people reveal it when they are ready to do so.

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But you still have to be aware of whats going on in your life & 1 week before the wedding was not considerate especially that the aunt & cousin were both IN the wedding, not just guests.
Everyone keeps saying that the bride has to be understanding & that other people's lives don't stop because of the wedding but shouldn't other ppl be just as considerate to the bride? SMH

Re: drama with 6 days away REALL!

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Posted by RussianBride

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Posted by JAAMS

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Posted by RussianBride

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Posted by JAAMS

I haven't posted in quite awhile, but this made me fume. As someone who has lost all of her grandparents to cancer and who has watched her mother fight cancer for the past 14 years, I can say that this comes across as one of the most insensitive posts I've ever read.

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I think you are misreading the information. She is not upset that her aunt has cancer and can't be in the wedding. She is upset that her aunt hid the fact that she was sick from everyone & only decided to tell her 1 week prior to the wedding over a text - that is pretty serious news to handle over a text when her family is so close & especially one week before her wedding. It happened out of the blue, had she known about the cancer early, I'm sure she would not be upset as she would know this was coming.

I hope everything workds out for you & your wedding will be perfect! It's about you & your husband - for that one day - enjoy it!
Prayers for your aunt - I'm sure you will work it out

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You're right. Cancer is serious news...so people reveal it when they are ready to do so.

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But you still have to be aware of whats going on in your life & 1 week before the wedding was not considerate especially that the aunt & cousin were both IN the wedding, not just guests.
Everyone keeps saying that the bride has to be understanding & that other people's lives don't stop because of the wedding but shouldn't other ppl be just as considerate to the bride? SMH

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Imo, no... not when it come to cancer or some other serious illness. Imo, that takes priority over everything else.

I 100% understand the frustration/sadness (which I think might be a more appropriate word) with the way it was told. I'd feel really disappointed. Perhaps her Aunt felt SO bad that she even had to tell her this news during such a joyous moment in her life and that's the reason she withheld the information till the 'last minute'. Esp. since you say you're the type of person who would have done everything you could for her. Perhaps she didn't want to bother you with 1 more thing during 'your time' or be a burden to you. Perhaps she was holding on to hope that she would still make it to the wedding. Right? maybe not. Understandable? Yes. But it's her disease and it's her right to handle it how she wants to... and only her decision.

My only rationalization to this post is that it's easier to worry about the 'silly' things (jewelry, BM dresses, etc.) then face the fact that someone obv. very close to the OP is now facing such an illness.

Re: drama with 6 days away REALL!

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Posted by AMK

The fact is... you sound like a spoiled brat!! Prayers to your aunt.

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Ummm, you are on the wrong board. Wedding Bee is where brides go to attack other brides with absolutely no basis in order to deal with the insecurities and inadequacies of their own lives.

Re: drama with 6 days away REALL!

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Posted by Karin

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Posted by AMK

The fact is... you sound like a spoiled brat!! Prayers to your aunt.

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Ummm, you are on the wrong board. Wedding Bee is where brides go to attack other brides with absolutely no basis in order to deal with the insecurities and inadequacies of their own lives.

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LOL and the Knot!

drama with 6 days away REALL! - Long Island Weddings

Is anyone else as perplexed as I, to see that someone would create a profile only to make that one post? Odd.

Re: drama with 6 days away REALL!

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Posted by AdriandSteve

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Posted by RussianBride

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Posted by JAAMS

I haven't posted in quite awhile, but this made me fume. As someone who has lost all of her grandparents to cancer and who has watched her mother fight cancer for the past 14 years, I can say that this comes across as one of the most insensitive posts I've ever read.

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I think you are misreading the information. She is not upset that her aunt has cancer and can't be in the wedding. She is upset that her aunt hid the fact that she was sick from everyone & only decided to tell her 1 week prior to the wedding over a text - that is pretty serious news to handle over a text when her family is so close & especially one week before her wedding. It happened out of the blue, had she known about the cancer early, I'm sure she would not be upset as she would know this was coming.

I hope everything workds out for you & your wedding will be perfect! It's about you & your husband - for that one day - enjoy it!
Prayers for your aunt - I'm sure you will work it out

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You're right. Cancer is serious news...so people reveal it when they are ready to do so.

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But you still have to be aware of whats going on in your life & 1 week before the wedding was not considerate especially that the aunt & cousin were both IN the wedding, not just guests.
Everyone keeps saying that the bride has to be understanding & that other people's lives don't stop because of the wedding but shouldn't other ppl be just as considerate to the bride? SMH

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Imo, no... not when it come to cancer or some other serious illness. Imo, that takes priority over everything else.

I 100% understand the frustration/sadness (which I think might be a more appropriate word) with the way it was told. I'd feel really disappointed. Perhaps her Aunt felt SO bad that she even had to tell her this news during such a joyous moment in her life and that's the reason she withheld the information till the 'last minute'. Esp. since you say you're the type of person who would have done everything you could for her. Perhaps she didn't want to bother you with 1 more thing during 'your time' or be a burden to you. Perhaps she was holding on to hope that she would still make it to the wedding. Right? maybe not. Understandable? Yes. But it's her disease and it's her right to handle it how she wants to... and only her decision.

My only rationalization to this post is that it's easier to worry about the 'silly' things (jewelry, BM dresses, etc.) then face the fact that someone obv. very close to the OP is now facing such an illness.

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I see it both ways, but Marquita, you could have explained it with a little more sensitivity to your Aunt's condition/illness.

Aunt and daughter: Both never booked a ticket. Seems like they were never planning on coming. Then texts days before the wedding. Since Aunt talks to mom on the phone anyways, giving your dear niece a warning or letting her know she's going through tough times would have been nice. Details not required, just tough times and uncertainty of the wedding.

Marquita: Come on, you mention your aunt has Cancer in a sentence and move on like it was nothing. (Venting/writing often takes over, I get it, happens to me too) Your mind is on Full Throttle Wedding production mode right now, so that's that, but after you organize everything for the big day, keep in mind how serious her condition is.

Good Luck & God Bless with the wedding! Work out all the kinks, and it'll be fine at the end of it all. Then enjoy each and every moment as they happen that day.

Re: drama with 6 days away REALL!

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Posted by AMK

The fact is... you sound like a spoiled brat!! Prayers to your aunt.

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Seems like more and more crazies are joining LIW by the day. Stop passing judgement and grow up. You musy be awfully bored to make an account to post one time!

Marquita, I wish the best for you and your aunt. Remember your day will be beautiful no matter what!

Re: drama with 6 days away REALL!

Marquita-sorry to hear this is going on. I am sorry about seeing that your aunt is sick & that drama is going on so close to the wedding. try not to stress over it. (i know easier said then done) you are going to have a beautiful day! sending good vibes your way! And I am sure you are not insensitive to her being sick. Sometimes being upset over something, things don't always come out the right way.

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Posted by AMK

The fact is... you sound like a spoiled brat!! Prayers to your aunt.

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who comes on with 1 post and says something like to someone on here.

the fact is...you're an a$$hole and you should get off the boards.

drama with 6 days away REALL! - Long Island Weddings

It seems like your aunt has been sick & holding off to tell you because she doesn't want to upset you. Maybe she's afraid that she might not feel well and doesn't want to get sick in font of a lot of people or In front of you on your big day.. She waited until a week before to tell u because she really just can't do it.. I'm sure she wants to though. Don't be upset with her.. Enjoy your special day! Prayers to your aunt!

drama with 6 days away REALL! | Page 2 - Long Island Weddings

Okay. First: YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED!!! In like.. 4 days! You got this!

Second: I'm sorry about your aunt. I'm sure she wasn't PLANNING on not making it a week before the wedding but cancer and treatments are funny. FFIL right now is going through chemo and every week its hit or miss. I know it sucks but that's what it is. We never know how he'll be the week he gets his treatments. Also... flying on chemo really isn't the best thing because of the air situation and germs.

Your cousin... her daughter... I can't blame her honestly. If my mom were sick with cancer I probably wouldn't want to leave her either just for the weekend.

Send them both their gifts you bought them. They made the commitment to be your MOH and BM and they did everything up until now. Give them their gifts with a nice card saying that you appreciate everything they've done until now and that YOU UNDERSTAND why they weren't able to make it and although you were upset.. you understand.

I'm sure when you wrote this you were really upset and it was written hastily. Things get lost in translation and people harp on that. I'm sure your wording came from the frustration of not having your aunt at your wedding. Clearly someone who means so much to you that you made her your MOH. And yes.. I agree that she should have told you herself but... I'm sure SHE is devastated because she probably feels like she's letting you down and she is going to have to miss her niece's wedding.

Big picture: You are getting married! You're going to have a beautiful day regardless of matching dresses or an uneven amount of people.

Call your aunt and tell her you love her and you'll miss her and you'll send her pics the day of so it will be like she's there.

::hugs::

drama with 6 days away REALL! | Page 2 - Long Island Weddings

I like what katielynn wrote.

Marquita, I hope it all works out and good luck!

Re: drama with 6 days away REALL!

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Posted by agatha

I like what katielynn wrote.

Marquita, I hope it all works out and good luck!

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I agree! Prayers for your Family Marquita and enjoy your special day.

drama with 6 days away REALL! - Long Island Weddings

Listen, maybe I should have been ALOT more EXPLICIT with whats been going on. I understand the fact that maybe she was thinking she'd be able to make it or that she didn't want to burden me with sad news. However, you just don't TEXT your neice serious information like this one week before. There is absolutely no excuse for that. YOU CALL and SPEAK to your neice. That's all I'm saying about it. I understand maybe she didn't want to cry and all the obvious reasons but the same way she could speak to my Mom about it and others she could have spoken to me about it. ALSO, my Mom has 7 brothers and sisters. They are ALL very close. My Aunt didn't tell not one person in our family about this with her being sick. She has had cancer before 8 years ago and survived thankfully. And when she found out she had cancer the first time she IMMEDIATELY told everyone in the family and we were all there for her in whichever ways we could be. SHE NEEDS to have family around her that love and support her. It HURTS me MORE that she's not allowing me be there for her when she is sick. I've ALWAYS gone above and beyond for people and even though yes I want my one day to be incredible but I do believe its still one day. I juggle a million things on a regular basis between work, taking care of my Dad, my Mom has been sick for years and I do everything for her. Even if I have a million things going on I would NEVER not help out a loved one when they are sick. I work in a nursing home and believe me I always look out for the people I take care of. So for her not to want me to be there for her emotionally is hurtful and to send a text instead of a phone call or to have kept me in the loop really does hurt. YOU may think I'm selfish but I'm really not. Here is another scenario. My COUSIN who s her daughter was suppose to be a bridesmaid as well. She promised me on Saturday when my aunt texted this to me that she would ship her dress to me so I can see if it would fit one of my friends so pictures wouldn't look awkward. Monday comes and guess what she didn't ship it...SAID that it was at her Mom's (my aunt's) yet Saturday that wasn't the case...also said the reason she can't now come to the wedding is because she is taking care of her mom (my aunt) which is not true. They live 2 hours away from each other. AND if it were true then why wouldn't you be able to ship the dress if the dress was with her mom? She then said she'd get it from her dad on Tuesday but again never returned my calls or texts to see if she mailed it so I could figure out when I ould get it. LATE at nite Tuesday nite she texts me and says her DAD was mad at my Mom because she told my aunt to call me to tell me the bad news herself because she thought it should come from my aunt not my mom so he told her not to ship the dress. (that's childish and inconsiderate right there) you tell me that your shipping the dress and you have me wait like an idiot and it never comes. I finally said enough....I get that you have a lot going on but the excuses your making for shippig the dress are nonsense at this point. So we went today and got my girlfriend a dress that is similar in the same color and having it rushed to be altered and all so she can get it on Friday and went through that extra expense. I EVEN tried calling my aunt a few times to try to talk to her to wish her well with the doctors and all and she sends me right to voice mail after 2 rings. How is that right? You can't even talk to me? Maybe she's embarrassed or sad also that she can't come but that just makes it worse. You claim to be so close to me yet you can't even talk to me or allow me to wish you well? AGAIN there is a lot more to the story so before being so quick to judge understane there is always a lot more to a story. PS my FMIL has breast cancer and is going to Philadelphia 2 days after the wedding! My father has pancreatic cancer and luckily survived. I KNOW all too well about cancer and what it does to people with health and mental psychy. I work in the medical field and see it all the time. The depression, sadness, denial, anxiety, pain, I see it all. So don't think for one second that I'm insensitive to my aunt or her illness....IM HURT that she WON'T let me be there for her in her time of need.

drama with 6 days away REALL! | Page 2 - Long Island Weddings

Oh and another thing. We even tried doing a 3 way phone call and my Uncle called her with my Mom and I on our phone, she answered the phone to my uncle but as soon as she heard my mom's voice and mine she hung up the phone. Later to find out that her reasoning was because we make her too upset? really? because Im calling you as your neice and Godchild to tell you that I wish you well and hope you get better soon and if you need anything I'm here and to tell her I love her? That would make her upset to hang the phone up when she hears our voice? Also, regarding my cousin, like I said she said she needs to be with my aunt every second. Which I would do as well. However, she is not with my aunt. She lives 2 hours away, does not drive and has definitely not been with my aunt as she says she is doing. My other cousins have spent time with her in the last couple weeks and she definitely has not been staying with my aunt. So why lie about that? Up until this we all had a great relationship so for her (cousin) to be lying about taking care of her Mom when she is not is just plain wrong and odd. I'[m sure there must be even more to the story then what I was told because its odd before to me and I know they have a heavy burden on their hands. I don't know..I want to get past it. I am truly saddened that my aunt is sick. Sad that she won't be by my side as obviously I wanted her and my cousin to be. I understand but the insensitivity behind it with sending me a text and not a phone call to talk about it is hurtful too. Had she told me sooner that she was not feeling well and what was going on, it would be more understanding. But to text such serious information like that one week prior and not to have let me know sooner that she may not be able to make it is hurtful to me. Theres always a bigger picture and God works in funny ways. I WILL still continue to call my aunt EVERYDAY until she picks up the phone to speak to me because that's how I am. ALSO, as far as anyone thinking shes weak and all from chemo or radiation, shes not because she has not had any yet and she won't be. The last time 8 yers ago that she had cancer she did the holistic, organic way of treatment. She doesn't believe in chemo or radiation. Yes of course she can be sick from the organic way as well but its not from chemo. my FMIL is trying the organic way as well, and shes been feeling sick and rundown also which it must be the cancer doing this plus the normal psych issues that go along with depression and all.

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drama with 6 days away REALL! | Page 2 - Long Island Weddings

Everyone on here (with an exception for a few idiots) had good advice: The situation stinks, but you're getting married on Saturday! Enjoy it and don't let the situation get you down.. Like I said in the beginning, the stuff with the dress and jewelry would only get noticed by you, and not your guests. You will ALWAYS be your harshest critic, especially when it comes to your wedding. So rather than sweat the small stuff, just relax & enjoy your day.. at the end of it all, your guests will remember seeing the love between you and your husband on your wedding day and not any of the little details!

Re: drama with 6 days away REALL!

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Posted by cets1290

Everyone on here (with an exception for a few idiots) had good advice: The situation stinks, but you're getting married on Saturday! Enjoy it and don't let the situation get you down.. Like I said in the beginning, the stuff with the dress and jewelry would only get noticed by you, and not your guests. You will ALWAYS be your harshest critic, especially when it comes to your wedding. So rather than sweat the small stuff, just relax & enjoy your day.. at the end of it all, your guests will remember seeing the love between you and your husband on your wedding day and not any of the little details!

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This! And also, when then dust settles and you are still faced with this illness of someone close to you, know that we are still here and 99% of us will support you and try to help...so, don't be afraid to vent or unload just because a few trolls decide to talk sh!t. Hugs and prayers for you and your family.

drama with 6 days away REALL! | Page 2 - Long Island Weddings

Dont stress about this anymore!! Hope you have an amazing wedding this weekend!!! You dont have to defend yourself or share your family stuff with anyone to justify anything.