dry wedding

How would you feel about attending a 'dry' wedding reception??

dry wedding

just wondering is your reason the $$ or b/c of alcoholics? we thought about this, since many of our family members are sober (and some should be but are not and maybe embarassing!). but, we also had to think about those guests that do not have a drinking problem but like to have a drink. if it's the $$ you can also just do champage (only for the toast), wine, and beer if you do not want to pay for the top shelf liquor pkg.

dry wedding

I wouldn't mind a bit, but my husband (the stereotypical Irishman that he is) would be very sad! : ) What are your reasons for considering a dry reception? I'm sure if your rational is spread by word of mouth people would respect your decision.

dry wedding - well...

I don't think I'd mind a dry wedding, but I wouldn't even think of having one. Everyone that's invited to my wedding are drinkers. But a friend of mine had one, and it went really well. She had one because her and her fiance don't drink, and for religious reasons. It's totally up to you though. People should be there to celebrate your love, not to get drunk. I know it might be nice to have a couple of drinks, but I think for one night, they could lay off. Good luck!

dry wedding - long

If your decision is based on alcholics attending your wedding..... A lot of family members on my father's side (including him) are alcoholics (some recovering, some not). I asked my father about this, since I was concerned about people inadvertantly falling off the wagon or making a spectacle of themselves at the wedding. He told me not to have a dry wedding. He said it will make the alcoholics feel as though they are being made an example of, since the guests will spend a lot of time trying to figure out why it's dry, who we think will make a spectacle of themselves, etc. He told me that the recovered alcoholics will be able to control themselves if they want to, and my other family members will watch out for those who will not be able to control themselves. We've decided that we are going to have both champagne and sparkling cider for the champagne toast, so that nobody will be able to tell who is drinking and who isn't. (We haven't spoken to the hall about this yet, but I can't imagine I'm the first bride to request this.) Sorry this is so long, but it really made me feel better. My dad has been in AA for a long time (over 20 years) and has been a sponsor to many people. I figured that he would be honest and tell me what to do.

dry wedding

It wouldn''''t bother me at all.

dry wedding* I would respect the couples choice. *NM*

dry wedding - something to consider

My aunt lived in a dry county in Ohio and the hall could not serve alcohol, so my grandfather, father, and uncles brought alcohol and kept it in the trunk and drank out in the parking lot!

dry wedding - my thoughts

personally, I would be disappointed. I would even prefer a cash bar over a dry wedding. I don't think its right to force your ideals (or the problems of a couple guests) on the majority. These guests are doing you the honor of attending your wedding - you should cater to them. Another point - I would think the wedding in general is likely to be more sedate. Plenty of people won't get on the dance floor until they loosen up with a drink first (this doesn't mean they have a drinking problem, only that their shy about their dancing skills). don't mean to offend anyone - just my two cents...

dry wedding - my thoughts

I kind of agree with LisaT in a way. Many people do not get to go out often and consider a wedding a huge event where they may want to enjoy themselves with a few drinks. If money is the issue I would offer a cash bar. If you are afraid that some people will fall off the wagon I personally do not think it is your responsibilty to keep them on the wagon. They are adults and can take care of themselves. Just my opinion.

dry wedding - Alessia...WHA??

I think what Yabbobay is saying is that you may want to consider the fact that some people will sneek off to do some drinking. I went to a christmas party once at a hotel and every so ofter you would see a group of people heading to the elevators to go back to their room to drink and quite a few wound up just hanging out at the bar most of the night. It is something to think about, because unfortunatly some people won't want to wait a few hours to drink. And it may not be that they are alcoholics but just because they fell like enjoying a few coctails at a party. Although, because we don't know the reasoning behind this decision, I would hope that your family and friends would respect any decision that you were to make.

dry wedding

At out-of-state weddings I would not be surprised to see a cash bar or a dry wedding. But, as we all know,Long Island weddings are much different than other weddings. However you don't have to be a conformist to the style of weddings here. Think about who you are inviting, how they would react to a dry wedding, and how their reactions would affect the way you feel the day of the wedding. You can close the bar an hour early if you want to decrease the amount of alcohol.

dry wedding - long

Wow, guys I had not even considered this, eventhough I should have because my father has been in AA ( and sober) for over 10 years. This posting just reminded me to have sparkeling cider for him as well as his friends. Thanks everyone!

dry wedding - my thoughts

Lisa, It isn't my ideals my brother who is also an usher would be getting a release from his treatment to attend with a counseler. The only way the county would allow him there would be for it to be dry. It is not because we are trying to be cheap or preach to people. People will dance no matter what ever go to a sweet 16 or Sock Hop or stuff like that in HS people do get up

070502

I didn't mean to imply that you were cheap. You have a very good reason to have a dry wedding, but you asked our opinions on attending a dry wedding (without an explanation) and I gave you mine. Only you know how your guests will react. Its obviously more important to have your brother there than to have drinks - I'm sure you're guests will respect that.

070502

Actually they really won't that is the sad thing and that is what I wanted to see by this post it seems like it offends alot of people and they rush to judge that either the people don't wanna pay or that someone is an alcoholic and no one wants to deal. I didn't mean to single you our Lisa, no offense it was just that after you post people started to respond to it being more a money aspect and I wanted everyones own opinions (basically it is just a real trying time!)Everyone thank you for your insight I didn't mention why b/c I wanted to see basically what people would jump to think and if people thought it was funny to sneak drinks or flasks. Thank you all for you help

its a tough situation - good luck to you. *NM*

070502

I really don't know what to say about this situation, b/c I can't lie and say it's not difficult for you to begin with... But, of course, your brother comes first, and that is most important, that he is with you on your special day.

070502

It's a good and bad thing, he has a problem. He can be sober for years. But the second he has a drink he can't just have one. This is even mouth wash, and NyQuil. He now knows more then ever what to stay away from and to be careful. But unfortanly he got into trouble was sent to a center for it and if the only way I can get him to get out to go is by promising to the center there will be none to tempt him.. they I can have him there. But also at the same time it is tough because I know that God Forbid he did have to miss it, it would for lack of a better word kill him to miss his kid sisters wedding and I know that that horrible feeling alone would help him so much from never ever drinking alone so that he never missed anything like this again. It truely is horrible and there are so many different types of alcoholics... Argh! Well anyways, thank you for your support!

070502 - I have a similar situation with my little bro...

and I am getting married a year to the day after you! Strange coincidence. My little brother is a somtimes recovering drug addict and alcoholic, and somtimes he is full blown. My dilemma is that with all of the in and out of rehabs and jail (yikes), I am not sure how to include him in a wedding I am not sure he will be at. I finally decided that we would not have him in the bridal party, even though my other brother is a groomsman, becuase it would be much more difficult to picture him as a part of the day and then have him not be there. I am hoping for the best (he will present the gifts and be at the reception SOBER), but I am expecting the worst - he wont be there at all. It is a sad reality for me right now. If God is smilng on me, something will change by next summer. If it was a choice between having him there as the sober, wonderful little brother that I grew up with, then I would forgo much more than alcohol and I would expect the people that I asked to share my day would understand. Especially because they all know the situation. I wouldn`t be too worried about what all of the brides have said. Your guests will understand. Having your brother there and having him succeed in rehab would make your day much more special than knowing that everyone had a good buzz! Good Luck! I hope everything works out for you. Becky