E-ring drama

her diamond might be smaller than she wants, but it may be flawless. What if he got her a larger diamond but it wasn't flawless-would she have been happier with it? Like is she more into quantity over quality?

Also this ring may have been all he could afford. I think your friend is being selfish. JMO! maybe she could buy herself a pair of diamond earrings if she isn't happy?

Not sure if is flawless, but this thing blings!

I noticed, however, that she didn't wear it to the office today. But I know she has not spoken to her FH about it ... yet.

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Posted by soontoobemrsk

Tell her to forget about telling him. All it will do is hurt his feelings. He put time, effort, and love into picking this ring and this diamond for her. He spent whatever he was able to, and would probably just feel inadequate if she asked for a bigger one.

Also tell her that an engagement ring is something that is supposed to have meaning to her regardless of the size/money spent on it. It is about the promise behind the ring, not the size of the rock. It represents the relationship, and the love in the relationship. It is something that will forever remind her of the day he asked her to marry him. It shouldnt be replaced. In my opinion, shes being very superficial and ungrateful.

HTH

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I agree completely.

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Posted by mmm117

I don't think there's any way the friend can tell her FH that the size of the ring is too small. He obviously bought her the ring he could afford. I think that if she was not happy with the STYLE of the ring, that might be a different story. Maybe then she could politely tell him that she wished the setting were different because afterall, it is a lot of money being spent and you'd want to love the setting. Stone size though is really a matter of budget!

Also, I agree with another poster who said that this girl was probably talking to her friend in confidence and now everyone is making her out to be some greedy awful person. I love my ring and I would never ask my FH for it to be bigger but I would also be completely 100% lying if I said that I didn't care in the slightest what it looked like. I think it's a tad naive to think most people are just so happy to be engaged that they would wear a paperclip on their finger. A engagement ring is a beautiful thing to be cherished forever. I care what mine looks like!

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I agree completely!

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Posted by KYBride09

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Posted by carolinebr

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Posted by KYBride09
She just don't like it... i guess.... Her ring is like yours, except hers is not a 3.23 carats!

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I didn't pick mine out. I picked a smaller one that I LOVED but you get what is offered. I just happened to get offered a larger ring than I expected. And she got smaller than she expected. Its sad she's disapppointed.

She should try on wedding bands. She might like it better. The engagement is only a year or 2. You wear the ering & band forever.

Tell her to try some a diamond wedding bands. It will look lovely and she will have more carats in total. AND best of all, she won't hurt the guy's feelings.

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That's a great idea! and since her e-ring is a solitare, an eternity band would look great JMO.

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Since FH bought my ring, I am buying the wedding bands. If she offers to buy the wedding bands, she can pick her wedding band and add some serious bling to it! In any style she wants.

Like another post said: I bet the diamond is very high in quality. Sometimes when you are willing to sacrifice certain criteria for the diamond you can get a bigger size. i.e. higher in color or more inclusions but bigger stone for the same price as a smaller stone with a better color and no inclusions.

I had an intern working for me about 2 years ago. She was a very nice, sweet young girl (around 20 years old). She was dating this guy in the military and he was being deployed to the Middle East. So, they got engaged before he left, and he gave her this beautiful round solitaire ring. This thing was amazing!! All the ladies at the office couldn’t stop raving about this ring (sad to say, but that’s the environment at my job).
Being that am not into the glitz and glamour, the girl confessed to me that the ring was not a real diamond.
So every time so one rave about how big the diamond was and how expensive it looked, we used to look at each other and burst into laughter!!!!

She didn’t care about it; all she wanted was to be with the love of her life. He later got her a “real diamond” when he got back and they are still happily Married!!

I definitely think she shouldn't say anything to him as the other girls have stated. He obviously wanted to ask her now, and she should be focusing on the fact that she will be getting married!! Not the size of her diamond
Plus, at least in my experience with FH, you never know how they will react when touchy subjects are brought up. I love love my 1 carat ering, yet HE keeps stressing how he wants to get me a bigger stone... men are so unpredictable!

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Posted by KYBride09

UPDATE:

I pretty much summarized everything you ladies said to me, and told her the pros vs. cons about her telling him. She said that she wants to LOVE her ring not just like it. He got her the stone and setting she wanted, she’s just not happy with the carats. She doesn’t want to hurt his feelings, but she wants to ask if they can “upgrade”

I have to agree with PegaLega; she doesn’t want to wear it to the office because everyone here have big flashy e-rings (2.5 and above). I remember when I got engaged, the ladies I work with will comment on how small my diamond is, and that why I didn’t get at least a 1.5 carat ring, etc… Am not going to lie and say that I brushed them off, because it really hurts when people keep saying it over and over again. You just want to hear them say “wow is gorgeous”

This girl also makes more money than her FH, and she’s always buying expensive stuff (purses, wallets, etc) so I think that’s why she is soooo into the big flashy rings.
She also added: “girls that have rings bigger than 1.5 carats will tell the girls with the smaller rings to be happy and contempt”

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Mine isnt 1.5 and I would tell anyone to be happy with the size.....the style is different but the size should be something you cant be unhappy about (again this is my feelings) Maybe she should buyher own ring and marry herself

I dont have a big ring at all but I am happy with it because it was what my FH could afford at the time we got engaged... He propose to me in a time that money for him was limited but he said to me that he couldnt wait because situation in a couples life always change.. and it really mean to a lot. I am not going to lie for a moment I want a bigger ring (because how many time would I get a diamond ring) but I love my ring and my FH and love him more because he sacrifice himself to propose..

I don't think she should say anything. Maybe just splurge on a fancy wedding band?

I appreciate all your opinions. I don’t think she is a bad person. At least she came to me first for advice instead of running to her FH. However, I can’t stop by noticing the majority of everyone that replied to my message, has an ering bigger than 1 carat.
I think is a very different situation when you already have a big ring to say that you would have settled for a small one. After all, you already have the big ring she is sort of after ~ JMO

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Posted by jessnstu08

I am sure I am going to get ripped apart for this BUT
I guess I am a selfish biotch but I understand her disappointment . I would have said yes if it was a 1/8 carat but I would have been super disappointed with it , and I would have mentioned at some point that I hope to upgrade .

Everyone's financial situation is different of course, but in my circle of family ( and FH's for that matter) a 1/8 carat ring would be talked about like you have no idea. Is it superficial.

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Thank you for that!
My FH asked what I though a nice size center stone for my slim fingers would be and I said 1.5cts, nothing less. I would marry him no matter what because I love him with all my heart. But if he had given me less I would have been dissapointed. I would hinted for an upgrade. I am going to have it forever and then it will be passed on in my family and some other bride will have it forever. My stone size was important to me. I am not a girl who ever asks for nice things. FH knew that this was important to me. I didn't want it to show off. Im a scrub nurse and I can't even wear my ring to work.

Note: I did not ask for something we couldn't afford, that would have been differen't.

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Posted by RockysGirl

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um....greedy much? also, what are her motivations for getting engaged to begin with? DH could have gotten me a cigar wrapper and I still would have said yes.

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I used to tell my FH before we were engaged that if it meant marrying him with only a RING POP instead of a diamond, I'd still do it. (between you and me tho, I'm glad he went with the diamond - but I know for a fact that I would still love him and marry him no matter what)

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I got engaged with a ring Pop then we went and picked ouot the ring together

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Posted by KYBride09

I appreciate all your opinions. I don’t think she is a bad person. At least she came to me first for advice instead of running to her FH. However, I can’t stop by noticing the majority of everyone that replied to my message, has an ering bigger than 1 carat.
I think is a very different situation when you already have a big ring to say that you would have settled for a small one. After all, you already have the big ring she is sort of after ~ JMO

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How do you know everyones ring is bigger then a carat? A picture means nothing. It may look like its 2 carat but the cut may be crappy so it looks like its 2 carat stone

Like I already said, I had an issue with my original ring and DH had to purchase another one.......the one I have is significantly SMALLER then the original one.

My good friend has a 3 carat ring and its gorgeous....do I run home to DH and say OMG i want what she has? NOPE! It killed me to have to tell DH what was wrong with my first ring (it went back NOT by choice) and I did NOT want to give it up. I went weeks without a ring. Who cares?

I think that the whole wedding industry makes everyone think bigger is better, etc. And the whole idea of marriage has lost its meaning.

A marriage is NOT about the size of the ring, its not about the color of your flowers, its not about any of that. At the end of the day your relationship working out is MORE important then any of that non sense. Sure, get a huge ring, spend a large amount of money on a wedding.........at the end of the day that does NOT make your relationship work.

I totally understand that she came to you for advice, that is what friends are for........you got the answers. Obviously she knew asking wasnt the smartest thing or she would have just done it and told him she wasnt happy.

Truthfully I dotn care what she does, if she tells him it doesnt affect me. Im just telling you I think (even if she was my friend) that its a pretty sad thing to expect more from someone you love. I dont think she is a bad person, I just think her priorities are in the wrong place.