E-ring drama

While I normally don't get involved in these kinds of threads, and I know I'll get flamed, here's my take on things.

I think that if your friend is serious about speaking to her fh, she should really consider the type of guy that is he. She knows him best - does she think he'll see where she's coming from? Or
does she envision him freaking out and breaking off their engagement (an overly dramatic scenario,but you get my point). I am not saying
that she should feel 'entitled' to a larger ring, but I do think that she has a right to be unhappy or disappointed - but again, she needs to tread very carefully. Did he buy her the best (quality and
size) ring that he could afford? If so, then she should also take that into consideration. Tell her that upgrading in the future is always a possibility too.

And while I do agree that the ring is a symbol of your fh's love and that you should love it regardless of size, quality or deisgn, let's face it - as girls we are incredibly superficial. We spend tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding that lasts 5 HOURS, thousands of dollars on wedding dress that is worn ONCE - flowers that die, candles that melt, food that is eaten - how is it any more superficial to want a ring that you love and will have FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?!

And I'm sorry, but I hate when girls assume that a larger stone MUST be crappy quality or a fake, or that if you have a big ring, you're marriage is doomed because you're obviously superficial and petty. Did it ever occur to anyone that some guys can just afford bigger stones?

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Posted by nycgirl79

And I'm sorry, but I hate when girls assume that a larger stone MUST be crappy quality or a fake, or that if you have a big ring, you're marriage is doomed because you're obviously superficial and petty. Did it ever occur to anyone that some guys can just afford bigger stones?

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I dont think anyone assumed this....Ithink the girls that mentioned it said that 2 carats and good quality is expensive and maybe he couldnt afford it.

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Posted by PegaLega

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Posted by nycgirl79

And I'm sorry, but I hate when girls assume that a larger stone MUST be crappy quality or a fake, or that if you have a big ring, you're marriage is doomed because you're obviously superficial and petty. Did it ever occur to anyone that some guys can just afford bigger stones?

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I dont think anyone assumed this....Ithink the girls that mentioned it said that 2 carats and good quality is expensive and maybe he couldnt afford it.

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I've just seen so many posts where girls assume this and it pisses me off..!

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Posted by nycgirl79

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Posted by PegaLega

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Posted by nycgirl79

And I'm sorry, but I hate when girls assume that a larger stone MUST be crappy quality or a fake, or that if you have a big ring, you're marriage is doomed because you're obviously superficial and petty. Did it ever occur to anyone that some guys can just afford bigger stones?

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I don't think anyone assumed this....Ithink the girls that mentioned it said that 2 carats and good quality is expensive and maybe he couldn't afford it.

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I've just seen so many posts where girls assume this and it pisses me off..!

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when girls assume that i just think its a defensive comment response . not this post , but others where I have seen drama over ring size, that 'big' must be a cra*ppy quality ,or ' smaller ' means that it must be flawless. ALL diamonds have flaws and frankly I don't give a c r ap about anyone else's ring size nor do i judge anyone what size it is, what size they want or don't want. we should all be happy with our rings , but most importantly with our FH's !

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Posted by PegaLega

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Posted by KYBride09

I appreciate all your opinions. I don’t think she is a bad person. At least she came to me first for advice instead of running to her FH. However, I can’t stop by noticing the majority of everyone that replied to my message, has an ering bigger than 1 carat.
I think is a very different situation when you already have a big ring to say that you would have settled for a small one. After all, you already have the big ring she is sort of after ~ JMO

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How do you know everyones ring is bigger then a carat? A picture means nothing. It may look like its 2 carat but the cut may be crappy so it looks like its 2 carat stone

Like I already said, I had an issue with my original ring and DH had to purchase another one.......the one I have is significantly SMALLER then the original one.

My good friend has a 3 carat ring and its gorgeous....do I run home to DH and say OMG i want what she has? NOPE! It killed me to have to tell DH what was wrong with my first ring (it went back NOT by choice) and I did NOT want to give it up. I went weeks without a ring. Who cares?

I think that the whole wedding industry makes everyone think bigger is better, etc. And the whole idea of marriage has lost its meaning.

A marriage is NOT about the size of the ring, its not about the color of your flowers, its not about any of that. At the end of the day your relationship working out is MORE important then any of that non sense. Sure, get a huge ring, spend a large amount of money on a wedding.........at the end of the day that does NOT make your relationship work.

I totally understand that she came to you for advice, that is what friends are for........you got the answers. Obviously she knew asking wasnt the smartest thing or she would have just done it and told him she wasnt happy.

Truthfully I dotn care what she does, if she tells him it doesnt affect me. Im just telling you I think (even if she was my friend) that its a pretty sad thing to expect more from someone you love. I dont think she is a bad person, I just think her priorities are in the wrong place.

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I agree. You have no idea peoples ring sizes unless they are posted. My ring is less than 1.5 carats, but it means the world to me bc the love of my life gave it to me. When I look at it, it reminds me of the commitment we made to eachother. Its not like 3 carats=he loves me a whole lot and 1 carat=he doesnt love me at all. carat size has nothing to do with love. And even the people who have 5 carat rings have the right to their opinion (especially when you asked for one), and I will also add that they didnt necessarily want a huge ring, its what they were gotten. For example, my diamond is over 100 years old and has been passed down in my family for generations. I wear a size 4 ring, so obv my fingers are tiny. If my fh had bought a diamond instead of using the one in the family (which btw im happy he did bc now it has even MORE meaning to me), I would have picked something smaller. My diamond looks huge on my tiny hand. I dont think it matters what the superficial people in your office think. I understand that she's dissapointed but she will be making a huge mistake by telling him to replace it...and in my opinion, not just a temporary mistake. I dont think a guy forgets something like that. I think it sets a bad tone on the entire marriage. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but please tell your coworker to get over herself.

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Posted by soontoobemrsk

I agree. You have no idea peoples ring sizes unless they are posted.

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I agree too! I also agree with whoever took issue with people assuming all 'big' rings are poor quality, or all 'small' stones are flawless.

I'm in a different boat because DH asked what kind of ring I'd like (I had no idea at the time but we learned about diamonds together and I eventually decided on a low-set 6 prong RB solitaire with a diamond wedding band) but my DH never could have bought me a giant ring when he proposed, unless he bought a simulated diamond. He proposed right after finishing grad school and I know he saved to buy my ring and it's extremely meaningful to me.

I know women can be catty and superficial -- I think we all are to an extent -- but I think it's absolutely horrible that your work environment is so bad that your friend would be ashamed to wear her ring to work, especially since she likes the design of her ring and it's just about size. She should be proud of her ring and what it stands for.

I wouldn't tell FH I want a bigger diamond or even if I hated my setting...I would never say anything. I HATE marquis diamond s but my e-ring is georgous bc he picked it out and it's from him. I absolutely love it. I wouldn't feel like a 'new' ring would be my real e-ring

JMO

FYI -

WE TV is showing a show about diamonds (erings)

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Posted by MyLobster

I wouldn't tell FH I want a bigger diamond or even if I hated my setting...I would never say anything. I HATE marquis diamond s but my e-ring is georgous bc he picked it out and it's from him. I absolutely love it. I wouldn't feel like a 'new' ring would be my real e-ring

JMO

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when DH and i were first dating he travelled a lot because he played varsity basketball all through college. he bought me a pendant from a street vendor in boston -- not sure if i have a pic somewhere but it looked kind of like a butterfly, or 2 flowers (we were never sure ) and it had some rhinestones and was pretty costumey. i loved it sooo much because he thought enough to pick it out for me, and it meant he was thinking of me even while he was away. i wore that thing every day, with everything, regardless of whether it matched and even though it wasn't 'fine jewelry' until it fell apart. i know it never impressed anyone but who cares? it was meaningful to me and i loved it.... and after it broke he bought me a pair of diamond/ruby/gold flower earrings. your friend may have 'bigger and better' jewelry down the road, but id take that old necklace anyday if i could..

I wouldn't say anything. I think that is horrible!!


I love mine. It is small. 1 carat..and then the sides are less than a carat but canary diamonds. One co-worker actually said to me, it's so small its cute. Why thank you, you arse!!

FH knew i wanted canary so that made me happy. I guess seeing our friends' rings and stuff made him feel bad. So after the wedding he told me he would save up to buy a bigger and better ring.
I told him I am fine with this one

Aw, thats really sad. And rude! How do you (not YOU but in general) think that will make him feel?! Don't you think if he could afford a bigger ring, he would have got her that one!? This is probably the reason some guys get so nervous about proposing or feel they have to wait a very long time saving bc they feel they don't have enough to 'offer.' Sad.