E-ring drama

I can't believe after 7 years she thinks that way...she should just be happy that they are finally getting married !!!

I love the ring my fh got me but i would have said yes to anything as long as it mean spending the rest of my life with him...

maybe if it is really bothering her she can get a fancy wedding band... but if i were you i would just tell her to shut up an appreciate the man that loves her greedy booty!!!!

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Posted by soontoobemrsk

Tell her to forget about telling him. All it will do is hurt his feelings. He put time, effort, and love into picking this ring and this diamond for her. He spent whatever he was able to, and would probably just feel inadequate if she asked for a bigger one.

Also tell her that an engagement ring is something that is supposed to have meaning to her regardless of the size/money spent on it. It is about the promise behind the ring, not the size of the rock. It represents the relationship, and the love in the relationship. It is something that will forever remind her of the day he asked her to marry him. It shouldnt be replaced. In my opinion, shes being very superficial and ungrateful.

HTH

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ITA

Flowers and a dress are style and what catches your eye, what you like.......the ring on the other hand if it was about style and not like the 'Setting' I believe this would be a completely different thread. This is about size of a diamond and nothing more. Not everyone has a say in their engagement ring, some people shop together and most with a budget.

Do I think she is greedy, YES!
She doesnt want to wear it to the office why? Because she is embarrassed of it and felt she 'deserved' more OR because she wants it bigger b/c the girl who sits next to her has a 2ct ring and she is jealous and feels that she is not up to par with her.

We had an issue with my 1st ering, I didnt choose to change it.......thats just the way the cards fell. Guess what~the one I have now is smaller and I dont care. The thought behind it is exactly that~ A diamond is forever as is a marriage~size means nothing.

I feel that people who 'want bigger' and complain about the size of their diamond need to get a grip. I dont care what the reasoning is. its a ring that signifies someone wanting to spend the rest of their life with you and believe you are 'the one' not bigger is better and he spent more and got me a 2ct ring

To me, and Im sure there will be those that argue against this, my thought on wanting bigger when you JUST got your ring is petty, sad and really ridiculous. Its all about what your SO other can afford and what they pick for you. An ering is not about being flashy or flaunting your hand its about a relationship~diamond or not an engagement ring is someone commiting their life to you.

YES some people have 2ct rings, hell some have 5 ct rings....am I saying they are spoiled? NOPE! Im saying a guy chooses the ring to be a reflection of his love not how big his wallet is.

I suggest you explain to her what a 2 carat ring really looks like... and how much they cost!! I mean I think we all dream up these scenarios where we get a solitaire diamond that's 2 carats, then you grow up and actually see how big it is (for me, a stone that big would look ridiculous) and how much money it is for a decent quality stone of that size, she may just not understand how these things really look. That's a LOT of money to spend on a ring, when you're planning a wedding as well. Perhaps you can get her a reality check on that front - I hear the majority of women out there have beautiful rings that are 1 carat or less that are beautiful.

I can sympathize if she had an idea in her head of what she wanted and the ring is totally different and she's disappointed, I mean in a way she's entitled to feel that way, but (1) she's being silly because it's all about size and no mention of design, (2) she's being totally unrealistic in thinking that 2 carats is 'the norm' and (3) even if she feels disappointed, she can't say that to her fiancee. If she does, it will inevitably hurt his feelings and it's likely he will re-evaluate all the months that he spent working just to pay for the ring, all the planning that went into it, and consider whether this girl actually cares about his feelings because I can't see ever doing that to the guy you love.

I am sure I am going to get ripped apart for this BUT
I guess I am a selfish biotch but I understand her disappointment . I would have said yes if it was a 1/8 carat but I would have been super disappointed with it , and I would have mentioned at some point that I hope to upgrade .

Everyone's financial situation is different of course, but in my circle of family ( and FH's for that matter) a 1/8 carat ring would be talked about like you have no idea. Is it superficial - yes Am i when it comes to quality and size of a diamond? - hell yes ! sorry but this is the ring you will have for the rest of your life , you should love it , and if size matters to you , you shouldn't feel like a terrible person for it. If you expect things you KNOW he cannot afford that's a different story . If you rather wait for the ring you so it can be bigger, better quality whatever, so what that's her choice.

My FMIL looked at my ring and yelled at FH and told him that it wasn't big enough , he should have gotten me a 3 or 4 carat ring , mine is over 2 , and I was shocked that she said that.

Yes I would marry FH regardless of the ring, but I would have been disappointed and said something if he could afford to upgrade .

UPDATE:

I pretty much summarized everything you ladies said to me, and told her the pros vs. cons about her telling him. She said that she wants to LOVE her ring not just like it. He got her the stone and setting she wanted, she’s just not happy with the carats. She doesn’t want to hurt his feelings, but she wants to ask if they can “upgrade”

I have to agree with PegaLega; she doesn’t want to wear it to the office because everyone here have big flashy e-rings (2.5 and above). I remember when I got engaged, the ladies I work with will comment on how small my diamond is, and that why I didn’t get at least a 1.5 carat ring, etc… Am not going to lie and say that I brushed them off, because it really hurts when people keep saying it over and over again. You just want to hear them say “wow is gorgeous”

This girl also makes more money than her FH, and she’s always buying expensive stuff (purses, wallets, etc) so I think that’s why she is soooo into the big flashy rings.
She also added: “girls that have rings bigger than 1.5 carats will tell the girls with the smaller rings to be happy and contempt”

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Posted by jessnstu08

I am sure I am going to get ripped apart for this BUT
I guess I am a selfish biotch but I understand her disappointment . I would have said yes if it was a 1/8 carat but I would have been super disappointed with it , and I would have mentioned at some point that I hope to upgrade .

Everyone's financial situation is different of course, but in my circle of family ( and FH's for that matter) a 1/8 carat ring would be talked about like you have no idea. Is it superficial - yes Am i when it comes to quality and size of a diamond? - hell yes ! sorry but this is the ring you will have for the rest of your life , you should love it , and if size matters to you , you shouldn't feel like a terrible person for it. If you expect things you KNOW he cannot afford that's a different story . If you rather wait for the ring you so it can be bigger, better quality whatever, so what that's her choice.

My FMIL looked at my ring and yelled at FH and told him that it wasn't big enough , he should have gotten me a 3 or 4 carat ring , mine is over 2 , and I was shocked that she said that.

Yes I would marry FH regardless of the ring, but I would have been disappointed and said something if he could afford to upgrade .

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I just looked at your photos......... WOW ~ LOVE YOUR RING

I don't think there's any way the friend can tell her FH that the size of the ring is too small. He obviously bought her the ring he could afford. I think that if she was not happy with the STYLE of the ring, that might be a different story. Maybe then she could politely tell him that she wished the setting were different because afterall, it is a lot of money being spent and you'd want to love the setting. Stone size though is really a matter of budget!

Also, I agree with another poster who said that this girl was probably talking to her friend in confidence and now everyone is making her out to be some greedy awful person. I love my ring and I would never ask my FH for it to be bigger but I would also be completely 100% lying if I said that I didn't care in the slightest what it looked like. I think it's a tad naive to think most people are just so happy to be engaged that they would wear a paperclip on their finger. A engagement ring is a beautiful thing to be cherished forever. I care what mine looks like!

If she makes more $$ than her FH and she says something to her FH about the lack of carats in her ring, I feel like their whole lifetime together will always be about upgrading and nothing he can afford will be good enough. The e-ring situation is just a red flag...I hope he knows what he is getting into...JMHO sorry

That's like tell him is pen!s isn't big enough. RUDE RUDE RUDE. If she already knows its less than a carat, then she already asked & he probably already knows she's not happy. Tell her to just get a really dimaondy wedding band.

I too was an analyst at an investment bank, and sure, some people had big rings. But they also had big earning FHs But not everyone.

To be 100% honest, I have what would be considered a bigger ring & sometimes, I get embarrassed by it. People ask if its real & I feel like a jerk. JMO


Now just a question, and no offense, as she could be the nicest girl in the world:

Is she 'embarrassed' b/c of the ring or does she just not 'like' it.

(disclaimer: there is NO reason to be embarrassed. A diamond is a diamond is a diamond/ Just trying to get a read on the girl)

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Posted by carolinebr

That's like tell him is pen!s isn't big enough. RUDE RUDE RUDE. If she already knows its less than a carat, then she already asked & he probably already knows she's not happy. Tell her to just get a really dimaondy wedding band.

I too was an analyst at an investment bank, and sure, some people had big rings. But they also had big earning FHs But not everyone.

To be 100% honest, I have what would be considered a bigger ring & sometimes, I get embarrassed by it. People ask if its real & I feel like a jerk. JMO


Now just a question, and no offense, as she could be the nicest girl in the world:

Is she 'embarrassed' b/c of the ring or does she just not 'like' it.

(disclaimer: there is NO reason to be embarrassed. A diamond is a diamond is a diamond/ Just trying to get a read on the girl)

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She just don't like it... i guess.... Her ring is like yours, except hers is not a 3.23 carats!

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Posted by KYBride09
She just don't like it... i guess.... Her ring is like yours, except hers is not a 3.23 carats!

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I didn't pick mine out. I picked a smaller one that I LOVED but you get what is offered. I just happened to get offered a larger ring than I expected. And she got smaller than she expected. Its sad she's disapppointed.

She should try on wedding bands. She might like it better. The engagement is only a year or 2. You wear the ering & band forever.

Tell her to try some a diamond wedding bands. It will look lovely and she will have more carats in total. AND best of all, she won't hurt the guy's feelings.

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Posted by carolinebr

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Posted by KYBride09
She just don't like it... i guess.... Her ring is like yours, except hers is not a 3.23 carats!

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I didn't pick mine out. I picked a smaller one that I LOVED but you get what is offered. I just happened to get offered a larger ring than I expected. And she got smaller than she expected. Its sad she's disapppointed.

She should try on wedding bands. She might like it better. The engagement is only a year or 2. You wear the ering & band forever.

Tell her to try some a diamond wedding bands. It will look lovely and she will have more carats in total. AND best of all, she won't hurt the guy's feelings.

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That's a great idea! and since her e-ring is a solitare, an eternity band would look great JMO.

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Posted by KYBride09

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Posted by carolinebr

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Posted by KYBride09
She just don't like it... i guess.... Her ring is like yours, except hers is not a 3.23 carats!

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I didn't pick mine out. I picked a smaller one that I LOVED but you get what is offered. I just happened to get offered a larger ring than I expected. And she got smaller than she expected. Its sad she's disapppointed.

She should try on wedding bands. She might like it better. The engagement is only a year or 2. You wear the ering & band forever.

Tell her to try some a diamond wedding bands. It will look lovely and she will have more carats in total. AND best of all, she won't hurt the guy's feelings.

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That's a great idea! and since her e-ring is a solitare, an eternity band would look great JMO.

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for what it's worth, i think my solitaire looks bigger next to my wedding band

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Posted by bluegreen08

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Posted by KYBride09

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Posted by carolinebr

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Posted by KYBride09
She just don't like it... i guess.... Her ring is like yours, except hers is not a 3.23 carats!

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I didn't pick mine out. I picked a smaller one that I LOVED but you get what is offered. I just happened to get offered a larger ring than I expected. And she got smaller than she expected. Its sad she's disapppointed.

She should try on wedding bands. She might like it better. The engagement is only a year or 2. You wear the ering & band forever.

Tell her to try some a diamond wedding bands. It will look lovely and she will have more carats in total. AND best of all, she won't hurt the guy's feelings.

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That's a great idea! and since her e-ring is a solitare, an eternity band would look great JMO.

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for what it's worth, i think my solitaire looks bigger next to my wedding band

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I just looked at your photos, but your ering is way bigger then hers.