Economy/family

Every time I see the 08' mommy thread I can't help but feel a little blue. For as long as I can remember, I thought that after getting married, I'd get pregnant. But the economy is so bad, dh and I are barely cutting it, so a baby just doesn't seem to be in the near future. Everybody expected me to have a hunnymoon baby (especially my mom *sigh*) but at this rate I can't even see a one yr wedding anniversary baby! I don't know, feeling blue about it and just wanted to share

I feel the same way!

thats the number 1 reason we're putting it off also! we are not financially ready yet to worry about a child, so I know how you feel..The economy really ***** right now, I just hope it gets better..my father got laid off because of it and now there in danger of having to sell there house

think of this way - if you wait it out and you are financially secure it will be so much less stressful for you guys and you'll be able to give your baby so much more - mentally and financially - not from my own experience but i see how much goes into raising a child and to be worrying about the economy/job security on top of that is scary.....for us it's a house that we want but we decided to wait it out and see what happens too, we don't want to get a house in this economy b/c what if something bad happens like we lose one of our incomes kwim? i feel like big money purchases and babies are risky to get into right now which ***** b/c a lot of us are at the point where we want to buy a home and start a family i just keep telling myself its a good thing we didnt get a house yet b/c id be so worried with the way the economy is - and we have no idea how the first few months is going to go with the new president either - not sure if that will have an effect on the stock market....so that makes me nervous too...dont feel so down, you are being smart about things

Although it's smart to wait until you're financially ready for a child.... I kinda feel like nobody ever really IS 'ready' (unless you're one of those annoying wealthy people). FH & I also don't want to begin a family until we've got a house and such. But i fear that if we keep that attitude, we'll wait too long and it'll eventually be too late to even have kids. My parents started our family off in a small apartment and then when i was 3, we moved into the house we're still in now. So my attitude is NOT to wait too long. I understand that the economy is worse now than it was then, but i still don't want to hold off TOO long, so I don't think we will.

Hang in there, ok? When the time is right for you both, you'll have that baby. And it'll be worth the wait

I feel that same way. I am praying that neither of us lose our jobs because the wedding will be hanging in the balance too.

But, my mother always did say that there is no right time financially to get married and start a family. If you waited for the right time financially, it may never come. I try to take her advice, but am still very worried.

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Posted by RockysGirl

Although it's smart to wait until you're financially ready for a child.... I kinda feel like nobody ever really IS 'ready' (unless you're one of those annoying wealthy people). FH & I also don't want to begin a family until we've got a house and such. But i fear that if we keep that attitude, we'll wait too long and it'll eventually be too late to even have kids. My parents started our family off in a small apartment and then when i was 3, we moved into the house we're still in now. So my attitude is NOT to wait too long. I understand that the economy is worse now than it was then, but i still don't want to hold off TOO long, so I don't think we will.

Hang in there, ok? When the time is right for you both, you'll have that baby. And it'll be worth the wait

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WaO you just said some of the very same things I've said to dh! I think about how some people I know definitely are less financially secure, yet still happily have their babies...my parents too! They didn't have anything when they had me and I turned out fine (I think lol!)...plus it doesn't help that my sister's 20 yr old friends are toting around babies now!

Thank you girlies

although there is never a 'right' time - i think it would be VERY foolish to have a child when you simply know you can't afford one - or when you are worried about job security.....i know people can't wait around forever but i know i would like to at least start out on the right foot - i just know i wouldn't be comfortable starting family if i was in serious debt, or if we didn't have a big enough place to live.....if i were in that situation i think that i would want to wait until the debt is paid off and until i had a place to live that is comfortable - but im a worry wart and i would want to wait until i felt like things were under some kind of control its hard to say b/c im not in that situation, but ive seen people mess up and not be careful and end up kids and then they burden other people in the family to help them out - and thats not cool - and for us we dont have that luxury our parents wont be able to babysit our kids or give us money - we'll have to do it all on our own, just like everything else - so when you don't have anyone to fall back on, i think its better to try and wait until you are ready to handle it.....but yeah, i cant ever imagine myself being ready - but people say you just know....so i guess ill just wait for that to happen! hahahahahaha

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Posted by kimnsteve

I feel the same exact way ...We cant even afford a house ...we live in a one bedroom apt ..where are we putting a baby?? its so upsetting I want a little one so bad

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you & i are on the very same 1 bd rm boat

Sorry Helen I know what you're saying. I can't even imagine trying to have a baby in this economy. I'm still not set in my career (or in it at all) and even if I was, there are so many jobs that aren't secure. It is depressing! Dh is worried about his job too, who isn't?

I have to agree that there is no 'right time' but there is a 'better' time. By that I mean that FH and I would love to start trying next year after he's tenured (God willing) this way one of us has a somewhat stable position. However nothing is ever stable or perfect in life. Having a child will always require sacrifices. Sacrifice, in time, in space, scarifice of yourself , etc. All of our ducks will never be 100% in a row. I know that even if I got a job tomorrow and FH got tenured, you never know what the future will bring to change it (good or bad). Also, we would have to live with our child in a one bedroom apt. for at least 1-2 years until we can move on from there. I know my parents did that, and my grandparents did that and so did FH's and FH's brother's and sister's. A 'right' time or a 'perfect ' time just doesn't exists...only a 'better' time and even then life can throw a lot of curveballs in between to keep it interesting.

The wrong time for us to plan to have a baby would be right now knowing that I'm going to be out of a job. However, a 'better' time would be after I get a job and am there for a certain amount of time and FH gets tenrued...or if I can't find a job after FH get's tenured and my apt. sells.

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Posted by kimnsteve

I feel the same exact way ...We cant even afford a house ...we live in a one bedroom apt ..where are we putting a baby?? its so upsetting I want a little one so bad

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It can be done. We're still in a one bedroom apt and expecting in Feb. We're going to be in the apt until the baby is about 1 1/2 for the purpose of saving money. You'd be surprised what you can make work. Will it be tight? Sure. But we're ok with it, it's only for a little while, if that's the only thing, don't let it stop you.

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Posted by florezpeeps

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Posted by kimnsteve

I feel the same exact way ...We cant even afford a house ...we live in a one bedroom apt ..where are we putting a baby?? its so upsetting I want a little one so bad

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you & i are on the very same 1 bd rm boat

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problem is i like my cozy little apartment...I dont wanna have to clean a whole house ! lol

Right now the way I feel, I never want to have children. That may change with age, but I just want to be able to travel and do thngs and not worry about taking care of a child. As selfish as that sounds , its just the truth.

Just the other day I thought about us getting an apartment, and all the money I would have left over after rent and bills, and I said to myself' wow..I really would not be able to survive with a child right now' So I agree. Whether it be the economy, or the salary I have, it's just not a good idea for us right now. But I do agree, that things are hard and people are struggling, so I would do it when you are financially ready to do so.

bluekat you explained what i was trying to say - i think you know when its the 'wrong time' and there is never really the 'right time' but def a 'better time' if that makes sense

it would be nice if the economy was perfect...but unfortunately for us its not. just hang in there. u will know when the time is right for you....and when that time comes ull make it work.

we were looking for a bigger place first (before the whole baby thing) but put ithat on hold because i lost my job and we dont want to count soley on 1 income and put all that stress on ourselves right now.

just remember kids need a happy home and a loving family...not endless things.