Lets hypathetically speak and say your engagment ended As some of you ladies know fh & myself have been on a rocky road for a while and may call it all off.My question is am i supposed to give the ring back also we received many engagment gifts & money,but that was 2&1/2 years ago what am i supposed to do Thanks ladies
WithThisRing
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the e-ring under NY state law you have to give back.
For the gifts I don't think you have to because they are gifts.
allure
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What the HELL kinda law is that he is calling off the wedding plans,healso gave me that ring I guess i will look into this thanks chipp
WithThisRing
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I know its a messed up law. It deals with something that he paid for it, its technically his (like if you were in HS and the jock gave you his jacket or his class ring)
I believe the rule on the ring is that if he gave it to you as a gift - like on your anniversary or birthday or Christmas - its considered a gift and you can keep it. But if its given to you as purely an engagment ring, he can have it if the wedding doesnt take place.
That being said, I would NEVER give my ering back if my husband had called off the wedding. He would have to pry it from my cold dead hands :D
I think many men will do the right thing and not ask for it back if its his decision to call off the wedding.
As for the gifts, I think you should return them if possible.
wacky
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I agree with Stef, I beleive if he gave the ring to you as a gift, bday, holiday gift. Its yours to keep.
I would probably give it back, who the hell wants it.
Allure hope everything works out
dkga1026
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Allure - so sorry you are going through this. I think, regardless of whether the ring was a gift or not, I would probably give it back. I don't think I would keep such an expensive piece of jewelry that really means nothing to me anymore. As for the gifts, it's been so long that I guess you can just keep those. Good luck with everything....
allure
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Thanks ladies The ring was given to me Christmas Eve 1999,i cant imagine giving it back,even taking it off i cherish this ring & it will break my heart to have to take it off i know this is gonna be hard,we've been trying but it seems like we are back at the same spot I really dont know what to do
Suzanne
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Hi Allure! It happened to me once. And he dared not ask for it back. I did expect him to reimburse all my bridesmaidss for any expence that they had encurred, and my parents for what they had done so far. I was lucky in that he had made all the deposits, but if i did i would have EXPECTED him to reimburse me..
It happened to be the man I married after all.. Sometimes Big weddings come with SOO much stress its IMPOSSIBLE not to argue and thats just what we did 24/7..
I never gave back the engagement gifts or the shower gifts.. i was so sad and to embarrassed and really didnt know how to do it.. no one ever said anything.. But i carried the guilt of that for a long time. If it will make you feel better give them back...thats the best advise i can give you..
Rob-luvs-me
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My professor told some of us engaged girls in class once (all joking aside) the rule (and it was actually on a bar exam recently I heard) that a gift you can keep but an engagement ring was given in contemplation of marriage and therefore is not a gift but he said more like consideration for marriage. If the wedding does not take place he has a 'right' to ask for it back and unfortunately he is entitled to it - and prof said that in court they have given them back. Know - having said that I don't think you have to give it back unless he specifically askes for it. (which he may or maynot)
Etd to say I forgot to add it usually makes a difference as to who cancels. If you cancel then you have to return it - but if he cancels you may not have to return it.
DaniRN
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I agree with Wacky, if my FH broke off our engagement I would give the ring back. I would never want to see it or be reminded of it again. But that's just me...
wenndypoo
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I also have heard that the ring is given with the promise of marriage, if the woman breaks the engagement, she is to return it, but if the man does it, she keeps it. I don't know anything about the law though. As for the gifts, I suppose the right thing to do is return them, but given the emotional nature of the situation, I can't imagine anyone calling to complain. (But then again, you never know!) I feel for you, and the stress you must be going through right now.
DaniRN
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Allure-just wanted to give you some extra for all your extra stress at this time
allure
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Thanks ladies i'm trying to concentrate at work today but it is very hard
ChristineC68
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I am sorry you are going through a hard time
HeatherandNick
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Allure these are for you As far as the ring, if it was a gift keep it. Unless he asks for it back I wouldn't mention it. I don't think you have to give back your engagement gifts. That is what they were - gifts. People who get divorced don't give back their wedding presents. Try not to worry to much abokut these things right now. It seems you have other, bigger more important matters in your life.
dgtlsunshine
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I'm sorry your FH is putting you through this but really I would not want the ring b/c just looking at it would send me up a wall.
Leelee
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Allure-- Just wanted to tell you I'm so sorry you're going through this..it must be very difficult....
LOTS AND LOTS OF HUGS TO YOU!!!
shamma
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I had already told my hubby that if we did not make it the alter, do not even ask for the ring back. I think you give it to me, there is no returning. Would he really ask you back for it tho'???
