EX Vent- need suggestions...LONG, SORRY!

Soo, I have an ex that I broke up with because I found out he cheated...probably the entire 2 years we were together.

So, when we broke up (about 1 year and a half ago)..it was BAD. I mean really BAD. And, I had become Best Friends with some of his friends and their GFs. When we broke up, a lot of stuff came out that he did, so almost all of them stoppen being his friends. I had to get a restraining order when we broke up, because he was stalking/harassing me. It's expired now.

I am still close with his former best friend and his gf. In fact, they love FH and are both in our BP!

Well, he's up to his old tricks again. Not bothering me, but emailing & calling everyone and telling them DISGUSTING UNTRUE things about me. Like, things I can't even repeat.

Do I just ignore it? I'm trying, but it still hurts my feelings..just that these things are out there, in email, myspace, voicemails, texts and they aren't true. He's copied people that are still his friends too. He even emailed people that were orignally MY friends..like my BFF from 2nd grade!

It makes me so angry that he's doing this and there's nothing I can really do, because he's not doing TO me.

What he's doing is slander (I think) and illegal. If it's worth it to you, you could press charges.

I'm sorry your are going thru this when right now is supposed to be a happy and special time.

He is CRAZY! Just ry to ignore everthing and tell your friend to not answer his emails, voice-mails, anything! He is nuts. Thankfully you found your FH and thank your lucky stars that you didn't end up with that nut.

I'm sorry you are going through this..but don't let it get you down..he's outta your life!

I think you should renew your restraining order...I'm sorry you are going through this...

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Posted by DeeluvsVinny

Yes, he is psycho. Fh is beyond annoyed that he's still at it. But, thinks we should ignore it and not stoop to his level, bc he probably just wants attention.

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Your FH sounds like a good man. I think its very noble he wants to take the higher route. Mine would have been going nuts right now. He's definitely right though. He's a child who needs attention cause his life su cks and he hates seeing you happy.

Does anyone believe him? I mean i know its still bad just hearing that he is saying these things to everybody but if he is saying to the friends that knows you well and are still friends with you then most will probably just think he is jealous that you are getting married and this is his way of getting back at you. Its hard because the point of him doing all this is to get back to you and get your attention, probably even to call him so you can tell him to stop and by doing so you'll do exactly what he wants you to do, but sometimes you do feel there is no other option. Would he even listen if you called and told him to stop? it can fuel him more sometimes to call. You mentioned his best friend and gf are in your bp, can you talk to his best friend to get him to stop doing this and to tell your ex that his actions just show everybody how pathetic and jealous he is and just making a fool of himself, maybe he can knock some sense into him. I am sorry, i know this can be hard but I hope nobody is taking him seriously and that he will stop soon. The problem with calling yourself is that he will think that if he does anything bad like this he can get you to call him and it won't stop him in the future from doing so.

Do you know anybody good with photoshop, maybe edit a pic of him and make it look like hes in bed with another guy or something and then post that everywhere on myspace. Sorry just try to make light of the situation although might not be a bad idea but that might fuel him more and won't stop. Giving in to him will make him continue, tell all his friends to ignore him and just tell him he is wrong and stupid.

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Posted by DeeluvsVinny

Yes, he is psycho. Fh is beyond annoyed that he's still at it. But, thinks we should ignore it and not stoop to his level, bc he probably just wants attention.

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totally agree with your FH!! Ignore him..he's beinga complete baby...

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Posted by novia26

I think you should renew your restraining order...I'm sorry you are going through this...

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i agree- you want to make sure that he is no where near your wedding sorry that he is doing this

This is what I call serious immaturity. I had something similar to this. Ignore it and hopefully people will understand how ridiculous and deceiving he is. AND CHILDISH.

Good Luck!

Diana, I always take the prayer route on these things. Debi's Sister had abuse issues, and prayer is what got some abusive people away from her!!! So, I'm praying that your ex will go away and leave you alone, and that THE LORD will shut his mouth!!! You can count on my prayers!! Mary MOB

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Posted by DeeluvsVinny

Yes, he is psycho. Fh is beyond annoyed that he's still at it. But, thinks we should ignore it and not stoop to his level, bc he probably just wants attention.

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I think that is the best decision. He defintly wants attention. I highly doubt anyone believes him...he is just making himself look like a loser. Dont give in and eventually he will disappear...

As a court employee , I reccomend :

You had a restraining order against him in the past ? I would file charges with the district attorney's office ASAP . what he is doing is a form of harrassment and is illegal, especially since he has stalked you in the past.

I would ignore him directly and tell all of his ex friends to do the same BUT he clearly has a history to doing this , I wouldn't let it get out of control . Third party harrassment/ Stalking can turn more serious , I would nip this in the bud !

I would ignore it--plus he is emailing everyone that knows it is not true, so they will stick by you. I know it is easier said than done, but I would move on and try as hard a s possible to ignore it.
My ex still calls 4 years later--um hello get over it already, but I just learned to ignore him and so has everyone else.

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Posted by Espo22

Does anyone believe him? I mean i know its still bad just hearing that he is saying these things to everybody but if he is saying to the friends that knows you well and are still friends with you then most will probably just think he is jealous that you are getting married and this is his way of getting back at you. Its hard because the point of him doing all this is to get back to you and get your attention, probably even to call him so you can tell him to stop and by doing so you'll do exactly what he wants you to do, but sometimes you do feel there is no other option. Would he even listen if you called and told him to stop? it can fuel him more sometimes to call. You mentioned his best friend and gf are in your bp, can you talk to his best friend to get him to stop doing this and to tell your ex that his actions just show everybody how pathetic and jealous he is and just making a fool of himself, maybe he can knock some sense into him. I am sorry, i know this can be hard but I hope nobody is taking him seriously and that he will stop soon. The problem with calling yourself is that he will think that if he does anything bad like this he can get you to call him and it won't stop him in the future from doing so.

Do you know anybody good with photoshop, maybe edit a pic of him and make it look like hes in bed with another guy or something and then post that everywhere on myspace. Sorry just try to make light of the situation although might not be a bad idea but that might fuel him more and won't stop. Giving in to him will make him continue, tell all his friends to ignore him and just tell him he is wrong and stupid.

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: LOVE your suggestion about photo shopping idea!!!

Yea, I really feel like if I do anything, it would just fuel his fire. His formed BF doesn't talk to him anymore. He hates him more than I do, if that's possible. No one believes it, but they all called me to tell me and it just hurt.

Thank Goodness for FH!! He's the best man I've ever met!

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Posted by futuremrsfab

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Posted by novia26

I think you should renew your restraining order...I'm sorry you are going through this...

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i agree- you want to make sure that he is no where near your wedding sorry that he is doing this

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Yea, I've been thinking this too. Like if what if he found out the wedding plans? NOOOOOO! I'm going to try and get the restraining order renewed. And give the hall a pic of him, JUST IN CASE, so they can stop him from coming in!

Thanks girls!

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Posted by DeeluvsVinny

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Posted by Espo22

Does anyone believe him? I mean i know its still bad just hearing that he is saying these things to everybody but if he is saying to the friends that knows you well and are still friends with you then most will probably just think he is jealous that you are getting married and this is his way of getting back at you. Its hard because the point of him doing all this is to get back to you and get your attention, probably even to call him so you can tell him to stop and by doing so you'll do exactly what he wants you to do, but sometimes you do feel there is no other option. Would he even listen if you called and told him to stop? it can fuel him more sometimes to call. You mentioned his best friend and gf are in your bp, can you talk to his best friend to get him to stop doing this and to tell your ex that his actions just show everybody how pathetic and jealous he is and just making a fool of himself, maybe he can knock some sense into him. I am sorry, i know this can be hard but I hope nobody is taking him seriously and that he will stop soon. The problem with calling yourself is that he will think that if he does anything bad like this he can get you to call him and it won't stop him in the future from doing so.

Do you know anybody good with photoshop, maybe edit a pic of him and make it look like hes in bed with another guy or something and then post that everywhere on myspace. Sorry just try to make light of the situation although might not be a bad idea but that might fuel him more and won't stop. Giving in to him will make him continue, tell all his friends to ignore him and just tell him he is wrong and stupid.

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: LOVE your suggestion about photo shopping idea!!!

Yea, I really feel like if I do anything, it would just fuel his fire. His formed BF doesn't talk to him anymore. He hates him more than I do, if that's possible. No one believes it, but they all called me to tell me and it just hurt.

Thank Goodness for FH!! He's the best man I've ever met!

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yeah it would be histerical but honestly that will just anger him more and make him think of new things and it will be this back and forth war and you really don't want that. Well good thing nobody believes him, so that should make it just a little bit better. Ignoring him is the best thing to do, like i said he is only doing it in hopes of you calling him to tell him to stop or you doing something back and going back and forth on this situation. In his sick head its his way of being connected to you. This way you are talking about him, people still hear about you and him in some sort of way and if you call and fight then its like a couple fighting which is how he'll probably view it. He wants to see if he can still get to you, don't give him that satisfaction. I also had to learn to just ignore it all completely and they do learn, bc no matter why youre calling if you do call its him staying connected to you. But for a long time to go on with no phone calls, no connection at all and you not caring at all will show him how you don't care to have him in your life in at all and nothing he can do can change your current situation or how happy you are.

Honestly, he is the one making a fool of himself. Ive also seen situations where i know the 2 people and one ex will do this and you know what i always think how pathetic the other one is and how they need to move on already. You come out on top by being the bigger person and he is the one hurting himself

good luck