Explain this to me?

My fiance's cousin is getting married next month. The ceremony is 2-3. The cocktail hour/reception starts at 6pm.

Why a 4-hour gap between start times? It's seems extremely inconvenient for the guests. There is literally no place to go for 3 hours.

they want time to take pictures so they don't miss the cocktail hour or reception.

That is my guess.

Hmmmm....

I am considering not going to the ceremony, just the reception. Is that rude? I mean, what are the guests supposed to do for 3 hours?

i have a 2pm mass and a 7pm cocktail hour...the reception hall didn't give me a choice of the time. they just told me 7pm. i'm glad because i won't be rushed for pictures. my parents and his parents will go to the hotel and play host to whoever wants to join them.

the ceremony was the latest at the church that they had aside for 630.

I had a 2 pm mass. It ended at 3:50 pm. Then, the photographer took photos outside the chuch with ALL of our guests. So, they all stayed another 10 minutes.

My cocktail hour was at 5:30. Guests arrived at 5 pm. Leonard's openned it up early for them, so they got in there at 5:15 pm.

So, it was good that I had 3 and 1/2 hours in between, otherwise EVERYONE would have ended up being late for the cocktail hour.

I think it is very rude to not go to the church and only go to the reception. The church IS the wedding. Maybe it is just me, but it really irks me when people skip the church.

Granted I understand that there is a long break, but sometimes couples don't have a choice. I know certain couples don't have a choice as certain churches will only perform weddings at particular time. In CT, for example, the latest most of the Catholic Churches will have a wedding is 2 or 3 pm. So if you are having a Saturday night wedding, you have a 3 hour break - no choice.

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Posted by tina_cuse01

I think it is very rude to not go to the church and only go to the reception. The church IS the wedding. Maybe it is just me, but it really irks me when people skip the church.

Granted I understand that there is a long break, but sometimes couples don't have a choice. I know certain couples don't have a choice as certain churches will only perform weddings at particular time. In CT, for example, the latest most of the Catholic Churches will have a wedding is 2 or 3 pm. So if you are having a Saturday night wedding, you have a 3 hour break - no choice.

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I have to agree about going to the church...Especially when it is family...JMO i feel that it is rude to miss the ceremony...If the church is close enough to your house or someone in the family, you go back & relax til reception time...You don't want people to miss your church...My poor SIL had an empty church bc of the gap & she was so upset!

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Posted by fashionhag

Hmmmm....

I am considering not going to the ceremony, just the reception. Is that rude? I mean, what are the guests supposed to do for 3 hours?

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Personally, yes, I think that would be very rude. But, not uncommon. To me, the wedding is the ceremony. The reception is a nice celebration but ultimately it's celebrating what happened during the ceremony. A lot of people go home in between or go to a movie or something.

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Posted by kissy27

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Posted by tina_cuse01

I think it is very rude to not go to the church and only go to the reception. The church IS the wedding. Maybe it is just me, but it really irks me when people skip the church.

Granted I understand that there is a long break, but sometimes couples don't have a choice. I know certain couples don't have a choice as certain churches will only perform weddings at particular time. In CT, for example, the latest most of the Catholic Churches will have a wedding is 2 or 3 pm. So if you are having a Saturday night wedding, you have a 3 hour break - no choice.

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I have to agree about going to the church...Especially when it is family...JMO i feel that it is rude to miss the ceremony...If the church is close enough to your house or someone in the family, you go back & relax til reception time...You don't want people to miss your church...My poor SIL had an empty church bc of the gap & she was so upset!

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I totally understand your sister being upset. But its just like ugh...we have to wander around for three hours. Our ceremony and reception are taking place at the same location because I wanted to make it easy on the guests. Ugh! I feel bad because I know its important to go to the ceremony, but I don't know. It's like all of a sudden I don't want to go to the wedding. But I know if I don't go, the fiance will be mad cause he has to go. I guess I am just looking for excuses not to go to the wedding. Maybe I could just fake an illness or something.

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Posted by fashionhag

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Posted by kissy27

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Posted by tina_cuse01

I think it is very rude to not go to the church and only go to the reception. The church IS the wedding. Maybe it is just me, but it really irks me when people skip the church.

Granted I understand that there is a long break, but sometimes couples don't have a choice. I know certain couples don't have a choice as certain churches will only perform weddings at particular time. In CT, for example, the latest most of the Catholic Churches will have a wedding is 2 or 3 pm. So if you are having a Saturday night wedding, you have a 3 hour break - no choice.

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I have to agree about going to the church...Especially when it is family...JMO i feel that it is rude to miss the ceremony...If the church is close enough to your house or someone in the family, you go back & relax til reception time...You don't want people to miss your church...My poor SIL had an empty church bc of the gap & she was so upset!

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I totally understand your sister being upset. But its just like ugh...we have to wander around for three hours. Our ceremony and reception are taking place at the same location because I wanted to make it easy on the guests. Ugh! I feel bad because I know its important to go to the ceremony, but I don't know. It's like all of a sudden I don't want to go to the wedding. But I know if I don't go, the fiance will be mad cause he has to go. I guess I am just looking for excuses not to go to the wedding. Maybe I could just fake an illness or something.

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Wow. Um, I'd remember this post when people who RSVP'd yes to your wedding don't show up because they 'don't feel like going.'

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Posted by eogara
Wow. Um, I'd remember this post when people who RSVP'd yes to your wedding don't show up because they 'don't feel like going.'

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Actually, I didn't RSVP. Fiance did. I didn't really have a choice.

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Posted by FutureMrs

I don't have a choice either. My church ceremony is at 2:30 and cocktail hour is at 7:00. I don't think it is inconvient for the guests and if they feel that way then don't come.

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Me too. 2:30 was the latest the church would marry us.

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Posted by fashionhag

Actually, I didn't RSVP. Fiance did. I didn't really have a choice.

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Since you two are getting married, you don't generally get a choice if he's going. I know that sounds utterly old fashioned, but could you imagine if a friend or cousin of yours was getting married and you knew you had to go (and wanted to go) and your FH tried to back out of it and make you go alone? Part of being married is being able to go to things like this together. I'm sure the two of you will be able to find something to do for a few hours together. You might even enjoy yourself!

Honestly, I agree with fashionhag. Most of you think it is rude to not go to the ceremony? I think it is kind of rude to schedule a four hour gap of time for OOO guests to kill in the middle of nowhere, and then get mad if they don't attend the ceremony! Been in that position before, and by the time the reception rolled around, the party had a hard time getting started, and everyone was tired of spending the entire day waiting around for the couple to take pics. The vibe was pretty UGH the whole day. (I'm NOT saying this is going to happen to your wedding!) If my church could only marry me four hours before the party, I would either find another church or start the party earlier. JMHO!!! Don't yell!!

I do like the idea of an 'in between' cocktail party...THAT is being a good host to your guests.