Explain this to me?

Original post by CubanBride

Jun 29, 2004 07:56 AM

My fiance's cousin is getting married next month. The ceremony is 2-3. The cocktail hour/reception starts at 6pm.

Why a 4-hour gap between start times? It's seems extremely inconvenient for the guests. There is literally no place to go for 3 hours.

CubanBride Posted: Jun 29, 2004 09:00 AM

Re: Explain this to me?

Posted by jannshari
Since you two are getting married, you don't generally get a choice if he's going.

Um, says who?

I know that sounds utterly old fashioned, but could you imagine if a friend or cousin of yours was getting married and you knew you had to go (and wanted to go) and your FH tried to back out of it and make you go alone?

I go to things alone all the time. Hell, I am even planning our wedding alone. There are a lot of things I want to do that he refuses to do so I wind up doing them alone. That's ok. I enjoy doing things alone. But that, I guess, is besides the point.

I guess I am just feeling cranky. I have never met this cousin before. I wasn't invited to her Bridal shower and everyone else was. Fine. I don't mind. I just don't feel like I should be obligated to go to something for someone I don't know. But hey, that could change tomorrow. Like I said, maybe I am just in a bad mood today. Anyway, I don't have anything to wear to this wedding and am too fat to buy anything and blah blah blah.

And also the fact that there is a possibility I might be pregnant that is pissing me off too. I guess I am all out of sorts today. Ugh!!

jannshari Posted: Jun 29, 2004 09:08 AM

Re: Explain this to me?

Posted by fashionhag

Posted by jannshari
Since you two are getting married, you don't generally get a choice if he's going.

Um, says who?

I go to things alone all the time. Hell, I am even planning our wedding alone. There are a lot of things I want to do that he refuses to do so I wind up doing them alone. That's ok. I enjoy doing things alone. But that, I guess, is besides the point.

Like I said, I know it sounds old fashioned, but think about it - are you happy when/if your FH tells you to go to a wedding by yourself because he doesn't want to go? IMO, there's a difference between planning an event on your own and doing things on your own and attending a wedding alone.

You need not justify yourself to me - I'm lacking caffiene and I realize that sounded wrong on my part. The intention was right, but the wording probably could have been better.

Hope you feel better all around soon.

CubanBride Posted: Jun 29, 2004 09:55 AM

Re: Explain this to me?

Wooohoo! I'm NOT pregnant. I feel so much better. I ill go to the wedding now! LOL! See how the thought of being pregnant can affect someone.

Spitzergirl Posted: Jun 29, 2004 10:01 AM

Re: Explain this to me?

Posted by fashionhag

Wooohoo! I'm NOT pregnant. I feel so much better. I ill go to the wedding now! LOL! See how the thought of being pregnant can affect someone.

You & fh go to the ceremony and during the wait period time, hang out with his family and have fun.

Bebalina Posted: Jun 29, 2004 10:01 AM

Re: Explain this to me?

pics pics pics....

guests will have to deal...
i'm doing the same thing....
u need time to get to the reception site...and pics...resting time...etc

nicknmb Posted: Jun 29, 2004 10:03 AM

Re: Explain this to me?

our church is at 2:30 and the CH doesn't start until 7:30. Originally i thought this would be a problem, but a lot of people are excited about the fact that they can go home in between to get ready. I also like the idea, b/c we will be done with all our pics before the CH

palebride Posted: Jun 29, 2004 10:07 AM

Re: Explain this to me?

it's very common to have time in between, and if the ceremony starts at 2, it'll be over by 3, then the receiveing line, you'll get out of there around 3:30-4:00, and you can go, relax for a bit, maybe wear two different dresses, so you have to go back and change, and then go to the reception.
there are ways to make it work, but if you don't want to go, then don't - you're an adult and no one can force you to do something you don't want to do

Spitzergirl Posted: Jun 29, 2004 10:34 AM

Re: Explain this to me?

I went to a wedding that ceremony started at 3pm/ch started at 7pm.

There were so much confusion that the church did not start till 3 30pm. It ended at 4:30pm. So, the wait to get to the recep. was only 1 hour. The time, flies when you are having fun.

ChristineC68 Posted: Jun 29, 2004 10:38 AM

Re: Explain this to me?

A lot of people have a time gap, in fact almost every wedding I went to had one. The worst was a 1:00 ceremony & 7:00 reception. For that I went home in between.

Is the church or reception facility close to you? You could always go home in between. Since it's family, maybe some of you could stop for coffee or a drink or something while you wait.

BCTM33 Posted: Jun 29, 2004 10:45 AM

Re: Explain this to me?

Almost every wedding I've gone to has a gap. Sometimes it is barely enough time to get to the reception hall (depending on the distance between the church and the hall). I f it is a long gap we usually go out for a drink or something or if it is close to home, we go home and finish getting ready, etc. I don't think a 3 hour gap is rude at all.

treilly13 Posted: Jun 29, 2004 10:50 AM

Re: Explain this to me?

Our church is at 2 (the latest they can do it because of a 5:00 mass later on) and the reception is at 6. I would never dream of changing churches just because the guests don't like the amount of time in between. This is the church my parents got married in, my sister was baptised in and FH and his family grew up going to this church...there is a lot of history there. Yes, it would suck if not many people show up but that is the guest's choice. To me, the ceremony is the most important part of the day and I personally never miss that part regardless of the gap. When there has been a gap, a buch of us would go back to the hotel and hang out, have a few drinks, play some games. It was fun.

Stacey04 Posted: Jun 29, 2004 11:23 AM

Re: Explain this to me?

Every wedding I have gone to has at least a 3 hour gap if not more. I always go home and get ready for the recep. For OOT if they are family, then the local family of the Bride or Groom, could host something.

We are having our ceremony at 2 and our CH starts at 6:30. We want to take pics and attend our CH.

violet Posted: Jun 29, 2004 11:33 AM

Re: Explain this to me?

Geez I had people tell me it would suck if my ceremony and reception were 4 hours apart. Keep in mind from November to March, the daylight is gone by around 4:30, so you need to do the ceremony early if you want outside pictures. But I figured I'd just take pictures inside, and I'm kind of pissed about that, but I didn't want to hear people bitching. One of my friends said it would suck to have all that time between, meanwhile his ceremony was at 11:30 with the reception after. Do you know how much it sucked getting up at 9am on a Sunday morning for a wedding?

HearzBellz Posted: Jun 29, 2004 11:34 AM

Re: Explain this to me?

Posted by mskimmy98

they want time to take pictures so they don't miss the cocktail hour or reception.

That is my guess.

ditto

BlondieBell Posted: Jun 29, 2004 11:59 AM

Re: Explain this to me?

Tell them to go shopping or something. As for not going to the church - I feel it is rude. It's like they only want to be at the 'party', not the actual 'wedding'.

spazybride04 Posted: Jun 29, 2004 12:37 PM

Re: Explain this to me?

My ceremony was at 3 and my reception didn't start till 7pm.. we couldn't get the church any later because there was a service at 6pm. and that was the set time for the hall.
Sometimes it just happens that way. But by the time we left the church and went to a park for pics, it was time to get to the reception hall already.

The people that came to my wedding either went home if they lived close enough, went shopping or went to the hotel and had a party.
But they all said too that by the time they got to the hotel (5 mins away from the church) and checked in (check in was 3pm) they had time for one beer and they were catching the shuttle to the hall...

It really sounds like a long gap, but I found out first hand that it's really not that bad.
Good luck!

Pattili Posted: Jun 29, 2004 02:37 PM

Re: Explain this to me?

Hi, I also hate when there is a long period of time between the church and reception. But...............unfortunately the church didn't give us much of a choice so we are getting married at 1:00, and the reception (which is only about 10 minutes away) will start at 6:00. So what we're doing is having a hospitality suite at the hotel where most of the relatives are staying. This way the ones that want to relax have some place to go and the others that want to go exploring can.

BriBri529 Posted: Jun 29, 2004 07:28 PM

Re: Explain this to me?

I have a 3:00 ceremony and a 6:00 cocktail hour. My church will only do the ceremony at 3:00, and my hall will only start the Cocktail hour at 6:00 the earliest, since there may be a wedding before mine from the afternoon . . . they might be in a similar situation- maybe there is nothing he can do about it!

ckgmwedding Posted: Jun 29, 2004 07:59 PM

Re: Explain this to me?

you are a big girl- don't go to the ceremony if you don't want too!

charlotte227 Posted: Jun 29, 2004 08:03 PM

Re: Explain this to me?

well they may not start the ceremony on time and it may run overtime so hopefully that will eat up some of the 4 hours...i feel you i don't know why couple's do that to their guests...