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Falsely Accused Bridezilla... vent and little long
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Re: Falsely Accused Bridezilla... vent and little long
I've been a BM in two of my friends weddings... the gift was the jewelry, I still wear both sets. ![]()
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Re: Falsely Accused Bridezilla... vent and little long
You havea rigth to be offended. A gift is gift..end of story. You do not insult the person who's giving it to you by tellign them you don't like it and you want something else.
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Re: Falsely Accused Bridezilla... vent and little long
Absolutley NOT!! It's your day!!
I told my girls they could pick any style shoe as long as it they had closed toes in the front.
I told them I was purchasing all the accessories for the wedding including the gloves. I purchased the earrings, hair pins, gloves and bracelts. Necklaces were not necessary beacuse of the dress. One asked if she could wear her own necklace, I would prefer everone to look the same, and it wouldn't look right with the dress. She did not.
Point being... They did not see the acessories until the day of the wedding. It's your gift to them end of story....![]()
I told my girls they could pick any style shoe as long as it they had closed toes in the front.
I told them I was purchasing all the accessories for the wedding including the gloves. I purchased the earrings, hair pins, gloves and bracelts. Necklaces were not necessary beacuse of the dress. One asked if she could wear her own necklace, I would prefer everone to look the same, and it wouldn't look right with the dress. She did not.
Point being... They did not see the acessories until the day of the wedding. It's your gift to them end of story....
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Re: Falsely Accused Bridezilla... vent and little long
IMO, a gift is a gift and she had no right to criticize you. I think it is a nice touch to give jewelry. Why wouldn't they wear it again?
ETS: I have received jewlery as a gift twice and still wear it!
ETS: I have received jewlery as a gift twice and still wear it!
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Re: Falsely Accused Bridezilla... vent and little long
I think she is reading way too much into this gift. Yes, you would like the girls to wear this jewelery on the wedding day but it's no different then if you offered to pay for their gown. I am sure the jewelery is very pretty that can be worn on other occasions as well.
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Re: Falsely Accused Bridezilla... vent and little long
Although my opinion of gifts and BM's are similar to your MOH/BM's views in general and what would personally do/did...
...but I felt she had no right to tell you what the gift should or shouldn't be for it is just that a gift. You are not being sensitive - she was out of line.
I think jewelry is a traditional BM gift and a nice gift and actually almost all bridal parties I have been in have given jewelry as a gift or part of a gift. I always said thank you and accept it.
The only time I had an issue and mentioned it is when I receive earrings - and it was only is there was an issue with them. For example my SIL told us the week before her wedding (she already gave us BM gifts) that she bought us all jewelry and wanted us all to match. I had no probelm with that but I tend to get ear infections and I asked her what I can bring incase they bothered my ears - I didn't want bright red ears for the pictures. Wound up I was fine but brought a backup in case.
...but I felt she had no right to tell you what the gift should or shouldn't be for it is just that a gift. You are not being sensitive - she was out of line.
I think jewelry is a traditional BM gift and a nice gift and actually almost all bridal parties I have been in have given jewelry as a gift or part of a gift. I always said thank you and accept it.
The only time I had an issue and mentioned it is when I receive earrings - and it was only is there was an issue with them. For example my SIL told us the week before her wedding (she already gave us BM gifts) that she bought us all jewelry and wanted us all to match. I had no probelm with that but I tend to get ear infections and I asked her what I can bring incase they bothered my ears - I didn't want bright red ears for the pictures. Wound up I was fine but brought a backup in case.
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Re: Falsely Accused Bridezilla... vent and little long
I actually make jewelry - i do a lot of bridal parties.
Sometimes the brides have the girls get together - I come in and help them all design jewelry - it can be the same thing for everyone- or different for each girl
depending on what the bride wants. (if the bride doesnt want that then I just work with them to come up with ideas)
Either way it's nice because even if it is the same, the girls feel they helped design it and they always tell me how they wear it after the wedding too.
jenerations
Sometimes the brides have the girls get together - I come in and help them all design jewelry - it can be the same thing for everyone- or different for each girl
depending on what the bride wants. (if the bride doesnt want that then I just work with them to come up with ideas)
Either way it's nice because even if it is the same, the girls feel they helped design it and they always tell me how they wear it after the wedding too.
jenerations
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Re: Falsely Accused Bridezilla... vent and little long
As someone who is very particular about jewelry, I do not particularily appreciate jewelry gifts that match a dress. I see it much like your MOH sees it, as more a gift for the bride to get her bms to match rather than a gift that is a true thank you for the money, time, effort of being in the party.
That said, I think its very rude to make any comments to the bride about it. Its a gift and even if you don't like it, you don't have any say about it.
So while I agree with her, I think she was very rude for making any mention of it.
That said, I think its very rude to make any comments to the bride about it. Its a gift and even if you don't like it, you don't have any say about it.
So while I agree with her, I think she was very rude for making any mention of it.
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Re: Falsely Accused Bridezilla... vent and little long
Why not chose jewelry that isn't all the same but from the same collection and choose something different for each girl?
I went to Lord & Taylor and found a whole bunch of necklaces and earrings for my girls that all had the same stones but each style reflected the girl. They all looked great and loved the fact that I thought of them as individuals.
I went to Lord & Taylor and found a whole bunch of necklaces and earrings for my girls that all had the same stones but each style reflected the girl. They all looked great and loved the fact that I thought of them as individuals.
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Re: Falsely Accused Bridezilla... vent and little long
I bought my BMs white gold neckalces they can wear again. It is a gift. The intention is for them to wear it for the wedding, but if they don't want to that's fine. I hope they like them enough to wear them at some point though.
I would have gottenthem differnt ones, but I was afraid one would liekt he other's better or something, that's why I got them the same. They don't particularly matched the dress, but they work with the neckline.
They asked what I wanted them to wear & I said no necklaces, so they won't waste time picking one & I can surprise them with this.
As a BM once, my friend she gave us jewellery as a gift. I wore it- but I was a little dissapoitned, b/c I was planing on wearign the gorgeous opal my mom lent me, & I didn't know baout the gift untill the rehearsal dinner, but I didn't think she was being controlling. It was a gift. I don't ever wear it thgouh, b/c it doesn't go with anything else.
I would have gottenthem differnt ones, but I was afraid one would liekt he other's better or something, that's why I got them the same. They don't particularly matched the dress, but they work with the neckline.
They asked what I wanted them to wear & I said no necklaces, so they won't waste time picking one & I can surprise them with this.
As a BM once, my friend she gave us jewellery as a gift. I wore it- but I was a little dissapoitned, b/c I was planing on wearign the gorgeous opal my mom lent me, & I didn't know baout the gift untill the rehearsal dinner, but I didn't think she was being controlling. It was a gift. I don't ever wear it thgouh, b/c it doesn't go with anything else.
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Re: Falsely Accused Bridezilla... vent and little long
Your BM was definitely out of line! A gift is a gift - period end of story. I bought my girls pearl necklaces and earrings, but allowed them to wear their own earrings - if they had pearls - and they all knew I wanted them to wear matching jewelry. There is nothing wrong with wanting them to wear the same jewelry - most BMs wear the same dress, so why not?
I allowed my BMs to wear whatever shoes they wanted (provided they matched the gown) and I told them to wear their hair however they wanted because you just cant tell a person how to wear their hair, IMO, within reason, at least. Your wedding day is not the time for your bridesmaids to be expressing individuality and personality - its not about them.
I allowed my BMs to wear whatever shoes they wanted (provided they matched the gown) and I told them to wear their hair however they wanted because you just cant tell a person how to wear their hair, IMO, within reason, at least. Your wedding day is not the time for your bridesmaids to be expressing individuality and personality - its not about them.
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Re: Falsely Accused Bridezilla... vent and little long
I'm with sonicstef, I don't like the jewelry gift. I've been in a lot of weddings and for all but one they gave me jewelry to wear with the dress. I've never worn any of it again. So ultimately it doesn't really feel like a gift.
HOWEVER I would rather have died than tell any of the brides that! I think it's a really rude thing to say. Then again, I would never have dreamed of telling them I didn't like the bridesmaid dresses, either. No matter what, all of those things are the bride's choice and that's that. I don't need a gift I'm going to use again or a dress I'm going to wear again. The point is to be there for the bride on HER day.
Some people are just rude.
HOWEVER I would rather have died than tell any of the brides that! I think it's a really rude thing to say. Then again, I would never have dreamed of telling them I didn't like the bridesmaid dresses, either. No matter what, all of those things are the bride's choice and that's that. I don't need a gift I'm going to use again or a dress I'm going to wear again. The point is to be there for the bride on HER day.
Some people are just rude.
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Re: Falsely Accused Bridezilla... vent and little long
just wanted to add: my jewelry 'gift' was intended to be worn especially for my wedding (and anytime thereafter)
But, AS A GIFT, I also paid for them to get their hair done, paid for their shoes to be dyed, gave them sachet's with their initials, gave them little red handbags, gave them a pair of slippers with beads and embroidery looking like martini glasses.
And, I also ordered their dresses off of the internet, so they only had to spend $134. The one who complained about the earrings also never ALTARED her gown...
Sorry, but I think I was MORE than generous and that asking them to wear the earrings, that I paid for, on my day should not have been a problem...
But, AS A GIFT, I also paid for them to get their hair done, paid for their shoes to be dyed, gave them sachet's with their initials, gave them little red handbags, gave them a pair of slippers with beads and embroidery looking like martini glasses.
And, I also ordered their dresses off of the internet, so they only had to spend $134. The one who complained about the earrings also never ALTARED her gown...
Sorry, but I think I was MORE than generous and that asking them to wear the earrings, that I paid for, on my day should not have been a problem...
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Re: Falsely Accused Bridezilla... vent and little long
Posted by Sonicstef
As someone who is very particular about jewelry, I do not particularily appreciate jewelry gifts that match a dress. I see it much like your MOH sees it, as more a gift for the bride to get her bms to match rather than a gift that is a true thank you for the money, time, effort of being in the party.
That said, I think its very rude to make any comments to the bride about it. Its a gift and even if you don't like it, you don't have any say about it.
So while I agree with her, I think she was very rude for making any mention of it.
i have to agree with stef. i dont think she have mentioned it because it was rude but i also feel that jewerly is more of a gift for the bride and not the girls.
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Re: Falsely Accused Bridezilla... vent and little long
i was thinking about getting my girls jewlwery and i am trying to find some that can be worn again. i believe its a nice gift. i don't think that anyone has a right to critisize you for your choice in 'gift' I dont look at it as a gift for me because i am trying so hard to find something they will wear again. i am letting them wear whatever shoes they want as long as they can dye them, i even researched some places that sell cheaper dyeables. i told them that after the formal pics they could take off their shoes an wear sneakers, they can do their hair and make up however they want. i want every one to be happy and have fun. i think that for someone to be so mean about a gift is out of line. its a gift.
good luck![]()
good luck
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Re: Falsely Accused Bridezilla... vent and little long
I think your MOH is out of line. Just try and pick jewelry that matches the dress, but also suits the girl and is somethng they would WANT to wear again. I'm also supplementing my gift to the girls with a few other things that I think/hope they like.![]()
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Re: Falsely Accused Bridezilla... vent and little long
Are they required to wear the jewlery?
I gave jewlery as part of their gift and didn't care if they wore it or not considering that they probably had it all figured out before the RD...only two wore it and I was thrilled!
I gave jewlery as part of their gift and didn't care if they wore it or not considering that they probably had it all figured out before the RD...only two wore it and I was thrilled!
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Re: Falsely Accused Bridezilla... vent and little long
Buy her a sock and tell her to suck on it. Its your wedding.
