Family Fued...I don't know what to do! HUGE RANT!

Original post by Mmnnng

Jul 10, 2007 09:07 AM

Ok this has the potential to ruin my wedding and I don' t know how to handle it....

Here's a quick run down....

My parents are divorced for nearly 11 years, they don't speak but are able to be cordial to each other and have all ready proven to me that they can be civil when it counts (my daughters' birthdays, communions, ect.) so I'm not worried about them...but my brother is a whole other story.

He has spoken to my mother since they've been divorced, for reasons he can't remember. He has been married and divorced already and has a habit of choosing nasty girls to date. His ex-wife didn't like me so my bro, who I was very close with, didn't talk to me for the year and a half they were married and even allowed her no to invite my girls to their wedding and of couse I wasn't involved in it either. (My bro is their godfather!)
They get divorced and me and bro are close as can be, then he meets this new girl...well she is all about drama drama drama! She came to my girls' communion w/o my bro and cried to my whole family about everything in her life, literally cried for hours...made the whole day about her, not my girls. Then on Xmas, here's the kicker, she fought with my bro and left him alone on xmas and came to my house where I had my entire family. She brought her son, ignored him completely, and again cried to my family, this time about my brother and his nastiness and crap. Again another special occassion ruined. My bro was flipping out that she was with my mother and I on xmas and not him and I was mad that she was here because she didn't belong here...Finally after hours of all this, I told her she had to leave, my xmas was all ready ruined, my in-laws were uncomfortable, the rest of my family had enough, and it was becoming ridiculious!

ANY HOW... I talked to my bro the next day and he was calm and resonable, and then she must've found out he was on the phone with me and told him that I was every name in the book and lied to him about crap I never said....so he again chose her over me and I haven't spoken to him in 7 months!

Oh and they live with my father so everytime I see HER she gives me dirty looks like shes 12.

FH says I should invite bro to wedding but w/o her, but I say I shoudn't invite him at all b/c he hates my whole family except for his father and I can't trust him to stay sober and not ruin everything by fighting with my mother, aunts, and uncles....AND THERE IS NO WAY his girlfriend is coming to my wedding! She will not ruin another day of my life!

What do i do about my bro?? Cut my loses on this one??

Thanks so much for letting me get this out!

AlliCatB Posted: Jul 11, 2007 08:11 AM

Re: Family Fued...I don't know what to do! HUGE RANT!

Jennifer907 Posted: Jul 11, 2007 08:47 AM

Re: Family Fued...I don't know what to do! HUGE RANT!

This is a toughie. I'm in a similar situation, but it's FH's bro who is the problem. He has not talked to FH for a year now. It's sad because they're the only siblings. I wanted to invite him because he is FHs bro and 30 years from now FH may regret big time that his bro wasn't at our wedding, but to keep the peace, we decided against it. So I guess my advice is to do what you feel is best for you, knowing you may regret it 10 years from now if he is not there.

Mmnnng Posted: Jul 11, 2007 10:10 AM

Re: Family Fued...I don't know what to do! HUGE RANT!

Thanks everyone for all the great advice! It really s*cks that anyone should have to deal with this when planning the best day of their lives!

As of now, I will not be inviting him and I maybe hiring security to make sure he doesn't show (how sad is that!)

I've decided that I've been the bigger person too many times in this distructive relationship and if by chance he decides to call me and try to talk it out then I will of course be willing to listen, but I cannot let him drag me down again....It took too long to get over the last time we fought over a girl of his.

His gf is aware of the wedding plans b/c as I said before they live @ my fathers and my kids go to see grandpa every week. Fortunately as of now, they still think its at the other location I had previously booked.

I am going to take it as it comes and I have enough to stress about with all the wedding planning and life in general!

Thanks for everything ladies....it really helped me a lot!