So FH and i have been engaged for a year. We got engaged april of 2008. In feb of 2009 my older cousin also got engaged, (she is my MOH). I went to her house to congratulate her, and she was not very nice. kind of b itchy actually. Then she sets a date of the week before my wedding. She tells me i am older then you, and i do not care if it is the day before yours, but i WILL get married before you. so obviously my feelings were hurt. She then for reasons unknown (probably someone telling her how stupid she was acting) she switched her wedding to the month before mine. This is obviously better. but she is stealing ALL of my ideas. When i first got engaged we were shopping and i saw cute little cookies in the shape of dresses, and a poem and i was like THATS how im going to ask my bridesmaids. I had plans to ask them April of this year. Two days after she gets engaged she hands out the cookies i had picked out and the poem i had picked out to all of us girls (im a BM). I was FURIOUS. now i feel like im not sharing my wedding with her like i should be, because im afraid everyone will just think i copied her wedding since she takes all of my ideas. I kind of want to demote her. any advice? Sorry for the rant.
ETA: my entire family is much more excited about her wedding then they are mine, and i will admit that i am jealous. even my mother is more into my MOHs wedding then she is mine.
Scarpak
Posted:
Member since
Re: family troubles...
I know that I should ask her to step down. I am just terrified to hurt peoples feelings. I dont want to cause family conflicts. I wish there was an easier way to do this
Liv123
Posted:
Member since
Re: family troubles...
Wow can we say BRIDEZILLA ? (her, not you) - Was she always this way ? I just can't help but wonder how she got to be your MOH.
Yes, she has a lot going on, but so do you. It doesn't give her the right to disrespect you and act as if the entire world revolves around HER. Do you have a sister ? Maybe you can team up and say that you feel really bad you didn't ask your sister and now that MOH is going to be a bride, she should focus on that and MOH should be your sister or something. I would also tell MOH that you can't handle being a bridesmaids so close to your own wedding. Cut the strings now.
I wouldn't bother moving the date or anything because she will probably do the same. I would stick with the date that works for you and just re-plan everything without her. You have over 2 years to plan and your tastes may change in the next year. You have plenty of time. It is aggravating and unfair, but the sooner you cut her out of your party, they less you have to deal with her.
Sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time, no bride should have to deal with this.
soontobemrsag
Posted:
Member since
Re: family troubles...
Posted by Julia0927
I would just not tell her about any of your ideas. Keep everything to yourself. When you ready to confront her do it and if you can't because she is family just leave it the way it is. But for sure don't share your ideas with her.
yes & slip in 'oh i saw these beatiful bright pink table covers that im going to get'
Scarpak
Posted:
Member since
Re: family troubles...
Posted by soontobemrsag
Posted by Julia0927
I would just not tell her about any of your ideas. Keep everything to yourself. When you ready to confront her do it and if you can't because she is family just leave it the way it is. But for sure don't share your ideas with her.
yes & slip in 'oh i saw these beatiful bright pink table covers that im going to get'
Thank you, this made me feel much better... and hot pink feathers for my centerpieces... and my dress will be day glo green :)
Scarpak
Posted:
Member since
Re: family troubles...
Posted by Liv123
Wow can we say BRIDEZILLA ? (her, not you) - Was she always this way ? I just can't help but wonder how she got to be your MOH.
Yes, she has a lot going on, but so do you. It doesn't give her the right to disrespect you and act as if the entire world revolves around HER. Do you have a sister ? Maybe you can team up and say that you feel really bad you didn't ask your sister and now that MOH is going to be a bride, she should focus on that and MOH should be your sister or something. I would also tell MOH that you can't handle being a bridesmaids so close to your own wedding. Cut the strings now.
I wouldn't bother moving the date or anything because she will probably do the same. I would stick with the date that works for you and just re-plan everything without her. You have over 2 years to plan and your tastes may change in the next year. You have plenty of time. It is aggravating and unfair, but the sooner you cut her out of your party, they less you have to deal with her.
Sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time, no bride should have to deal with this.
She already knows that I asked my sister to be my MOH. My sister was supposed to be my matron of honor and my cousin was my maid of honor. Until she decided to get married right before i did just for the sake of being married first
gonzalezm3
Posted:
Member since
Re: family troubles...
Posted by Scarpak
I know that I should ask her to step down. I am just terrified to hurt peoples feelings. I dont want to cause family conflicts. I wish there was an easier way to do this
I agree with an above post, that once she gets married, she WILL NOT HELP YOU with your wedding! And you WILL regret it!!! Find the courage to ask her to step down. Say 'because our weddings are so close together, it will be too much stress for us to be in each others bridal parties. I think as guests, it would be better'.
Eweluska17
Posted:
Member since
Re: family troubles...
Juhgail
Posted:
Member since
Re: family troubles...
Scar-
You need to get OVER being 'terrified' of hurting her feelings.
SHE IS ALREADY HURTING YOURS!!!!!
You can talk to her, nicely. You can talk to her calmly like adults. But dammit!! You NEED to stand up for yourself!!!!
Read my post that I wrote early on. YES! It IS scary to think there will be a conflict. Yes, there might be tears and hard feelings. But its HER CHOICE to react that way.
Did you see real housewives last week? If you haven't WATCH IT. The scene where Bethany and Kelly are on the bed? Bethany was cool as a cucumber even when Kelly was attacking her. YOU NEED TO BE BETHANY!!!!
I wish you all the best and cant stand that B^^^tch is taking gross advantage of you.
