Do you girls sometimes feel fh isn't as romantic or thoughtful as you would like him to be? I don't know what it is lately..but i feel like fh isn't as romantic as he once was..we've been together for 7 years which could be why..but lately its been making me upset..i actually cried all morning about this..I feel like hes not as spontaneous as he was and not as quick to do really cute and unique things to surprise me..don't get me wrong i absolutely love the guy and overall hes great to me..but i just can't help feeling upset over this
Future Mulligan
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Re: feeling bummed out
Posted by Bride 2 Be
Posted by Snowflake08
honestly, kristin i think this happens to almost EVERYONE and those that say no are in the minority
thanks laura..your probably right..i hate to say it but my sister just got engaged and he put so much thought into it and for me i feel like it was too spur of the moment..don't get me wrong..it was the happiest moment in my whole life..but i just wish he would have done something more unique
i think we all feel like this sometimes. i love the way FH proposed but sometimes i wish it was more 'romantic' too.......for some reason it was a little awkward - mostly because of me and my reaction what he did was SO thoughtful and SO sweet but it wasnt what i was expecting as far as romantic - it wasnt how i always envisioned it in my head......so dont get down about it.......you arent alone.......i think we all feel this way at one point or another. i think our FH's need a lecture on romance and surprises
FinallyEngaged
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Re: feeling bummed out
I totally feel like that too sometimes, especially lately. I even cried to FH about it. He felt really bad about it. It is bad b/c we both go into a routine b/c we have been together for 6 years so we are used to eachothers ins and outs. I hate to say it like this, but it is almost like we take eachother for granted.
The best advice i can give you is to talk to FH. I did, and i let it all out, tears and all. Fh was there and listened and understood what i was saying and him comforting me reminded me that even if he does not do the romantic spontaneous things as often anymore, they are still there just waiting to come out!!!!!
Espo22
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Re: feeling bummed out
i think this happens with most couples who have been together as long as you and your fh have been, kristin. You just get so comfortable with eachother and he feels that you know how he feels about you and if a guy doesn't like to do romantic things, he'll feel so comfortable with you that he doesnt feel he has to because you know...I think they don't realize sometimes that its not just to know bc you obviously know how he feels but its nice once in a while to feel that way, and to have something spontaneous and sweet done for you.
How about going out on a date night, not a regular one either...do something different, adventurous...problem is couples fall into this routine and need to find that excitement again. Its normal though so don't feel bad, its something that is hard to avoid.
plus everyone is different and they have different ways to show their romantic side...some do it by buying flowers or so on and others have their own way, maybe its not something that is typically known to be romantic or the storybook type romance but to them its their way of showing it
AS
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Re: feeling bummed out
Posted by Bride 2 Be
Do you girls sometimes feel fh isn't as romantic or thoughtful as you would like him to be? I don't know what it is lately..but i feel like fh isn't as romantic as he once was..we've been together for 7 years which could be why..but lately its been making me upset..i actually cried all morning about this..I feel like hes not as spontaneous as he was and not as quick to do really cute and unique things to surprise me..don't get me wrong i absolutely love the guy and overall hes great to me..but i just can't help feeling upset over this
OMGGG You are not the only one!!!!!!
Jamnike
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Re: feeling bummed out
oh we have this argument all the time. he didnt ge me flowers for our anny since we moved to FL he didnt know where the flower shops where.....i would have LOVED WALMART FLOWERS! i was sooo mad about it i made him cry :( :( but totally hear you. makes me mad sometimes
Future Mulligan
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Re: feeling bummed out
what helps is i think of all the things that FH does do.........like on my Christmas card he wrote something that i thought was really sweet. he wrote 'to your last christmas as a 'my last name'. even though he only wrote one sentence in the card - what he wrote was sweet and thoughtful - so even though it wasnt flowers, or a love poem, it was still something that made me feel special. so when i really think about it, there are a lot of little things that he does that for him are romantic. so think about it and im sure you will realize that maybe there were things that he did that you might have just overlooked......
Mizzdimple
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Re: feeling bummed out
yea....i mean..what are you going to do. WE are all not perfect., im sure your Fh wishes you can be another way....but we have to accept them for who they are and love them.
Think about all the good qualities in your FH. Im sure they out-way not being romantic.
Espo22
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Re: feeling bummed out
ALSO ladies don't forget that it goes both ways...not directed to anybody bc i have no clue what you ladies do...but sometimes i'll see some girls who complain their bf/fh/dh wont do things for them but when asked what was the last nice thing they did they couldn't remember. Doing something thoughtful for him that you know he'll like can help too.
futuremrsfab
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Re: feeling bummed out
yea I know what you mean- sometimes when you are together a long time you take the other person for granted and forget to do nice things for them... I have found with my fh rather than bringing it up (he gets defensive)- I just go out of my way to do things for him & he usually picks up his game... good luck!
LauraD419
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Re: feeling bummed out
I think all relationships go in cycles. It will hopefully swing back in the other direction soon!!! Try to be spontaneous and cute towards him. A date night or something might help to light the fire. I think that sometimes all of the stress of wedding planning makes us lose ourselves. Remember who you are as a couple!
LeeLee111
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Re: feeling bummed out
Its very hard, both sides have to work extra hard to keep things interesting. January FH and I will be together for 9 years and its a lot of work keeping everything fresh. Just talk to him about it.
Julybride08
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Re: feeling bummed out
talk to him and tell him how you feel. sometimes they just get coaught up in everything else and forget. once you remind him he will try and be more romatic again. but just talk to him.
Mrs. V 2008
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Re: feeling bummed out
Posted by Future Mulligan
what helps is i think of all the things that FH does do.........like on my Christmas card he wrote something that i thought was really sweet. he wrote 'to your last christmas as a 'my last name'. even though he only wrote one sentence in the card - what he wrote was sweet and thoughtful - so even though it wasnt flowers, or a love poem, it was still something that made me feel special. so when i really think about it, there are a lot of little things that he does that for him are romantic. so think about it and im sure you will realize that maybe there were things that he did that you might have just overlooked......
your absolutely right! I do overlook some stuff I'm sure!
Mrs. V 2008
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Re: feeling bummed out
Posted by Espo22
ALSO ladies don't forget that it goes both ways...not directed to anybody bc i have no clue what you ladies do...but sometimes i'll see some girls who complain their bf/fh/dh wont do things for them but when asked what was the last nice thing they did they couldn't remember. Doing something thoughtful for him that you know he'll like can help too.
very true denise! when i talked to him about this , he actually said that me not being romantic enough bothered him as well! so i have to find new and exciting ways to surprise him! any ideas!?!?
Mrs. V 2008
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Re: feeling bummed out
and thanks again everyone! I appreciate the advice and help! hugs
Espo22
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Re: feeling bummed out
Posted by Bride 2 Be
Posted by Espo22
ALSO ladies don't forget that it goes both ways...not directed to anybody bc i have no clue what you ladies do...but sometimes i'll see some girls who complain their bf/fh/dh wont do things for them but when asked what was the last nice thing they did they couldn't remember. Doing something thoughtful for him that you know he'll like can help too.
very true denise! when i talked to him about this , he actually said that me not being romantic enough bothered him as well! so i have to find new and exciting ways to surprise him! any ideas!?!?
well think about things he has an interest in, any hobbies? get him something that is small but personal. Or maybe you can plan a night out, make the reservations yourself or cook dinner for him and have a nice romantic night
SB7308
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Re: feeling bummed out
Maybe go to the place you met (if it was at a place) and make an evening out of it. Make a date night, dress up nicely and go to dinner and the movies or something that you two both like
AMGBride2008
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Re: feeling bummed out
Posted by Bride 2 Be
very true denise! when i talked to him about this , he actually said that me not being romantic enough bothered him as well! so i have to find new and exciting ways to surprise him! any ideas!?!?
Random nudity always does the trick!!!
I think little note left around go a long way. I'm a big note-leaver-in-his-lunch kinda gal... he loves it and save every single one.
Mrs. V 2008
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Re: feeling bummed out
Posted by AMGBride2008
Posted by Bride 2 Be
very true denise! when i talked to him about this , he actually said that me not being romantic enough bothered him as well! so i have to find new and exciting ways to surprise him! any ideas!?!?
Random nudity always does the trick!!!
I think little note left around go a long way. I'm a big note-leaver-in-his-lunch kinda gal... he loves it and save every single one.
this is a great idea..only problem is we don't live together yet!!!
AMGBride2008
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Re: feeling bummed out
Posted by Bride 2 Be
Posted by AMGBride2008
Posted by Bride 2 Be
very true denise! when i talked to him about this , he actually said that me not being romantic enough bothered him as well! so i have to find new and exciting ways to surprise him! any ideas!?!?
Random nudity always does the trick!!!
I think little note left around go a long way. I'm a big note-leaver-in-his-lunch kinda gal... he loves it and save every single one.
this is a great idea..only problem is we don't live together yet!!!
Well, put it away for when you do live together!!! Kristin, he lives in his own apt though, right? So leaving work early and sneaking into his apt. to make a nice romantic dinner might be fun... and happen to be nude when he walks in too... LOL! Romantic and spontaneous!
