Feeling deprived

NYCHICK Posted: Mar 17, 2004 10:56 AM

Feeling deprived

Okay so I will just spill the beans and say that I am disgustingly needy(hanging head in shame)....BUt FH makes me happy and I LOOOVE being around him. SO the issue is he works very hard and does his darndest(of which I am VERY appreciative)...........But I get up at 5:30 get to work at about 7 get out at 4, get to class at five and get out at 7:30 get home at about 8:30.....twirl around watch tv and go to bed by about 10:30.........so the kicker is FH works from 2 - 10 but never gets home until about midnight-1 o clock. So we rarely even have a chance to talk or anything other than the weekends. I am growing bitter, but I know it is nobody's 'fault'..........do I need more yoga or something?

Julestrd Posted: Mar 17, 2004 10:58 AM

Re: Feeling deprived

Definitely more yoga and I would say something else but I don't know you so I don't want to be gross or offend you

peeweesgirl Posted: Mar 17, 2004 11:00 AM

Re: Feeling deprived

YOGA ' doing downward dog'

NYCHICK Posted: Mar 17, 2004 11:01 AM

Re: Feeling deprived

If you mean more sex, I am down for that anytime but HE IS NOT AROUND..........When I say deprived in the title of my thread I mean deprived in ALL ways

Julestrd Posted: Mar 17, 2004 11:01 AM

Re: Feeling deprived

Posted by NYCHICK

If you mean more sex, I am down for that anytime but HE IS NOT AROUND..........When I say deprived in the title of my thread I mean deprived in ALL ways

Well I was going to say you might need to pick yourself up a vibrating item

september2004 Posted: Mar 17, 2004 11:02 AM

Re: Feeling deprived

Posted by peeweesgirl

YOGA ' doing downward dog'

violet Posted: Mar 17, 2004 11:05 AM

Re: Feeling deprived

I understand how you feel. Every 8 weeks, though lately it is once a month, FH works seven days straight from 3-11pm. But a lot of time, it turns into overtime, especially with the snow yesterday, he worked till 6am. I feel really lonely during the week when he works that shift. I can't imagine if he worked it all the time. Maybe try to stay up past midnight once in awhile to talk to him. Not a big thing for me, as sometimes I go to sleep pretty late.

RedHead Posted: Mar 17, 2004 11:05 AM

Re: Feeling deprived

Posted by Julestrd

Posted by NYCHICK

If you mean more sex, I am down for that anytime but HE IS NOT AROUND..........When I say deprived in the title of my thread I mean deprived in ALL ways

Well I was going to say you might need to pick yourself up a vibrating item

LMAO

NYCHICK..BIG DOn't worry you'll get through this time... i am sure
it won't be like this forever

NYCHICK Posted: Mar 17, 2004 11:11 AM

Re: Feeling deprived

I try to stay up violet but I am soooooooooooooooo tired by the time I get home I have to force myself to stay awake, even to watch law & order and newlyweds and stuff.........I am growing very resentful and I am trying not to take it out on him but it is very difficult. ughhhhhhhh

nrvbrd Posted: Mar 17, 2004 11:14 AM

Re: Feeling deprived

Don't know if you want my advice, but I will say hang in there- this is not a permanent situation,

There was a time when hubby was working 2 jobs going to school and participating in sports all at the SAME time. It was nerve wracking

I grew annoyed and like you deprived. Then I took a step back and realized that it was no one's fault and it was for the betterment of the relationship.

What I did was treasure the time we did have together and made the best of it. I also did alot of things on my own. That was very healthy.

NYCHICK Posted: Mar 17, 2004 11:18 AM

Re: Feeling deprived

I will take all the advice I can get nrvbrd. I am trying, believe me........I just don't have time to do anything else I get home at night and all I want to do is lay around and talk.....I am gonna keep telling myself that 'its not going to be forever'.........but my God, i am not in a relationship so i can be alone.........I am just getting more bitter by the day..........

nrvbrd Posted: Mar 17, 2004 11:21 AM

Re: Feeling deprived

Posted by NYCHICK

I will take all the advice I can get nrvbrd. I am trying, believe me........I just don't have time to do anything else I get home at night and all I want to do is lay around and talk.....I am gonna keep telling myself that 'its not going to be forever'.........but my God, i am not in a relationship so i can be alone.........I am just getting more bitter by the day..........

I feel really bad hearing this, because I have been there.

Is his 2-10p shift permanent? Can he switch at some point?

NYCHICK Posted: Mar 17, 2004 11:26 AM

Re: Feeling deprived

We fight about this ALL the time. He says it is a permanent shift because the boss doesn't like people moving around at all. They said they like him there are those hours. I am just SO MAD I could combust...........We really only have SAturdays together cause he works from sun-thursday. I have been very good about this for a LONG time but I feel neglected........and I am not sure I can handle this being a wife....

FeliciaDA Posted: Mar 17, 2004 11:28 AM

Re: Feeling deprived

I don't blame you one bit, NYChick.. I am also extremely needy when it comes to my FH. Which is shocking because before him I was the total independent woman who hardly cared when I'd see an ex-boyfriend (this is how I know I love him like crazy!)

It seems that so many of us have opposite schedules from our FH's and that certainly takes its toll on things .. I know it'll get better for you but still its draining sometimes.. and I miss him more now than b/f we lived together

In my case we spend probably one hour together during any given weeknight, and he's usually so exhausted by the weekend that he dilly dallys the entire weekend away sleeping and playing on the computer!!!! Talk about bitter, I really try NOT to be but you know what rears its ugly head....

Sometimes I long for the days when we didn't live together and our weekend were TOTALLY focused on each other (because that was all we had..) But then again I wouldn't trade sleeping next to him every night , either.

OK . not really advice here , sorry! Just try to hang in there and remember that even though it seems hopeless now that this too shall pass ....

nrvbrd Posted: Mar 17, 2004 11:34 AM

Re: Feeling deprived

His boss does not sound flexible at all.

With me, I was not only unhappy that I did not see him as much, but that I was doing all of the household chores. That annoyed me more than anything.

All I can say is that you two have to come to some resolution or compromise BEFORE the marriage. You do not want these negative feelings to linger and fester.

NYCHICK Posted: Mar 17, 2004 11:40 AM

Re: Feeling deprived

Posted by nrvbrd

All I can say is that you two have to come to some resolution or compromise BEFORE the marriage. You do not want these negative feelings to linger and fester.

That is the clincher......I have no solutions really. I couldn't ask him to quite (that is just drastic and downright wrong)..but I don't wanna sit at home alone indefinitely either.....man being a grown up and having to make decisions suck