FH and I have to make a big decision

Original post by jteach711

Jan 01, 2008 01:33 PM

Quick background. FH and I have lived together for 3 1/2 yrs in a beautiful apartment in west babylon. It is close to where we both work, 2 bedrooms, huge kitchen, and a backyard. We pay $1,200 plus $150 for optimum triple play (cable, phone, internet)

Okay, so my mom lives in Holtsville, about 20 minutes east of us and the person renting the apartment in her house is leaving. She offered to give it to us for $500 a month with no cable bill, she will pay it. The apartment is only 1 bedroom, and it is living underneath my mom and step dad who seem to scream every word out of their mouths.

My step dad offered to put hard wood floors down in the entire apartment and redo the bathroom b/c it skeeves me out.

They want to help us be able to get a house after the wedding. We would be moving in March 1st and would hope to stay no more than a year and then buy a home closer to work again.

What would you guys do. There are so many pros and so many cons. It is really hard for us to decide. That is our plan for today, decide our living situation.

jteach711 Posted: Jan 01, 2008 07:42 PM

Re: FH and I have to make a big decision

Thank you for your response and I totally see how that could be a problem in some families, thankfully it is not like that with mine. We have already lived there for a few months so its not like we are going into it blind. I am also allowing fh to make the final decision b/c I know I am okay with it and I want him to do it because HE wants to not b/c I want to.

I am truely lucky to have such a great family and and fh that is willing to sacrafice for our future. He is a nmortgage broker and knows that after our wedding will be the best time to buy a home so we might as well save as much as we can until that time

meli722 Posted: Jan 01, 2008 07:45 PM

Re: FH and I have to make a big decision

Posted by jteach711

Posted by MISSESPINK722

I voted for no only because I cannot see myself moving back to my mother's house after Im gone, i love living on my own and not having here close by. i miss both my parents at times, but not enough to move in, i like the independance of being on my own

I hear ya but its not like I am living in a bedroom in her house. It is an apartment with a private entrance and its own kitchen, bathroom, etc. I probably won't even see them on a daily basis

yepp i got that part, im just the type of person where i think my mom will want to be in my apartment all the time, and want to know where iam at, even though its not a bedroom there lol

Princess Cut Bride Posted: Jan 01, 2008 07:45 PM

Re: FH and I have to make a big decision

Jess I voted for moving in to the apartment at your mom's house. I think it would be a great opportunity for you and Steve to save money. You both lived there once before and it was fine so I say take this wonderful opportunity and save the cash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good luck with your decision!

CC11208 Posted: Jan 01, 2008 07:49 PM

Re: FH and I have to make a big decision

Posted by jteach711

Thank you for your response and I totally see how that could be a problem in some families, thankfully it is not like that with mine. We have already lived there for a few months so its not like we are going into it blind. I am also allowing fh to make the final decision b/c I know I am okay with it and I want him to do it because HE wants to not b/c I want to.

I am truely lucky to have such a great family and and fh that is willing to sacrafice for our future. He is a nmortgage broker and knows that after our wedding will be the best time to buy a home so we might as well save as much as we can until that time

If you've already been living there w/ FH and things are going well, then that changes everything! As long as there are boundaries regarding privacy and such, then staying there and saving $$ would be a good idea.

jteach711 Posted: Jan 01, 2008 07:50 PM

Re: FH and I have to make a big decision

Posted by CC11208

Posted by jteach711

Thank you for your response and I totally see how that could be a problem in some families, thankfully it is not like that with mine. We have already lived there for a few months so its not like we are going into it blind. I am also allowing fh to make the final decision b/c I know I am okay with it and I want him to do it because HE wants to not b/c I want to.

I am truely lucky to have such a great family and and fh that is willing to sacrafice for our future. He is a nmortgage broker and knows that after our wedding will be the best time to buy a home so we might as well save as much as we can until that time

If you've already been living there w/ FH and things are going well, then that changes everything! As long as there are boundaries regarding privacy and such, then staying there and saving $$ would be a good idea.

Yes, 4 years ago we lived there for 3 months while we were aprtment hunting. I know its not the ideal situation but we want a house very, very soon after the wedding and every dollar counts right now.

missexcited Posted: Jan 01, 2008 08:15 PM

Re: FH and I have to make a big decision

I say do it. The savings is big.
I wish we had that opportunity before we bought our place.

DiamondPipa Posted: Jan 01, 2008 08:32 PM

Re: FH and I have to make a big decision

i'm in the same situation....FH sold his apt and we either rent outside or just live at home til we find our new home....i chose to live in basement apartment.....you get to save TONS of money and can get the home of your dreams

del Rio Posted: Jan 01, 2008 08:33 PM

Re: FH and I have to make a big decision

Move back to mom's definitely! I am sort of the same situation, but FH and I do not already live together. We have the option of living in FILs finished 1 bedroom basement where FH lives now or pay $1300 in rent starting March 1st. I wish I could take my own advice but FH already feels cramped in his apt without me or our dog living there too! Guess it doesn't sound like much help, save up until you can't live at moms anymore!

ant n tilde Posted: Jan 01, 2008 09:16 PM

Re: FH and I have to make a big decision

it sounds like you kind of made your choice already but i wanted to chime in

FH and I are living in an apt upstairs from my parents after the wedding. we dont even have a separate entrance and it is TINY it is a kitchn, LR BR and bathroom

For us it was worth it, to make it worth it I would take the EXACT amount you would be saving each month and put it directly into savings so you dont live there a year with nothing to show for it besides some new shoes

My parents are VERY respectful of privacy ( well not now, but they will be when we are married ) and my mom jokes all the time that she wants a handwritten invitation to come upstairs

it is small and cozy and you know what - when we are older we can tell our kids how we 'struggled' to get our dream home and dream life. everyone has to start somewhere and i think that struggling through a less than ideal living arrangement can really strengthen our relationship

a friend said the best thing to me that totally sealed the deal for us

we get to have TWO honeymoons TWO chances to be newlyweds - bc when we go out on our own it will be like being newlyweds all over again!!!

good luck in whatever you decide and FM if you need to chat since I am in the same boat!

PS - most early marital problems stem from finances . . . so i think its great to start out with a little extra help!

Hawks Nest Posted: Jan 01, 2008 10:19 PM

Re: FH and I have to make a big decision

I would move into your mom's house. I feel as though any penny helps in the long run. What is one year to the rest of your life. FH and I are living in my parents house in about a 400 square foot apartment. All we keep saying to ourselves it is less then a year and we are saving so much money. Plus whenever we are hungry we go and raid their fridge, lol....