FH and I have to make a big decision

with rent and monthly bills we pay about 1600 in dyker heights, brooklyn for a 2 bedroom apt. we were talking to FMIL and when her tenants move out we are going to move upstairs from her for about 1000 a month, 3 blks away and 3 bedrooms. lol

always save when you can!!

No, of course! You will be too far from DD!

It sounds like a good idea: one thing to consider though: will all of your stuff fit in her apt? Or will you have to rent a storage space? $$$$?

---

Posted by mathteach

No, of course! You will be too far from DD!

It sounds like a good idea: one thing to consider though: will all of your stuff fit in her apt? Or will you have to rent a storage space? $$$$?

---

hahahah.

Well our friend offered to let us keep stuff in his attic for a while. So we wouldn't need to rent a unit but it will be more sqooshed thats for sure

If this was me I would move back and rent the apartment. You will be saving over 10,000 and you can either use it for the down payment for your house that you want to save for or furniture to fill the new home. No matter what you do with it you'll be saving and money is always an issue somewhere. Fh wants sooo badly to get out of his house but, we need to save for the wedding, next year. So he'll stay put til a few months before. Hope everything works out .

You know what then: Do it.

You know how I struggle and I wish had some $ saved. Your commute will suck a little: try to take Sunrise and not the LIE. But in the long run you and FH (Stephen/Steve) will be able to save some $ and it will take some of the $ pressure off ESPECIALLY right before the pay-offs are due for the wedding. AND you'll be able to treat me to an ice cream when we go to the beach to tan ourselves and relax after June 28th!

It's a tough decision, but I think you know what to do already.

---

Posted by mathteach

You know what then: Do it.

You know how I struggle and I wish had some $ saved. Your commute will suck a little: try to take Sunrise and not the LIE. But in the long run you and FH (Stephen/Steve) will be able to save some $ and it will take some of the $ pressure off ESPECIALLY right before the pay-offs are due for the wedding. AND you'll be able to treat me to an ice cream when we go to the beach to tan ourselves and relax after June 28th!

It's a tough decision, but I think you know what to do already.

---

Thanks, I think we know what to do also.

---

Posted by GinaZ

I can totally see the pros and cons of both. But it really would save you a lot of money as long as you put the difference aside every month. But ultimitly its up to you and you FH. What are his feelings on this?

---

He is the one leaning more towards doing it. Like I already said. He and I lived there for like 3 months prior to getting our apartment and it wasn't horrible. I like my apartment now a lot better and being closer to work and further from the parents but he thinks there are just too many pros to not do it.

I am scared

FH had an opportunity like this. My parents said they would purchase a 2 family house when they sold their condo. It would give us the opportunity to save money BUT my mother and step-father would probably be knocking on our door everyday for something and FH and I like our privacy. We decided against it. It wasnt worth it in the end if we were going to feel like we were moving back in with our parents.

BTW, I voted for the pole!

---

Posted by empressdani

Like everyone else said it depends on your relationship w/ your parents. Our situation is similar, FH and I are moving to Philly after the wedding. His mom has just moved there also and is helping us look for places to live. We agreed to find a apartment/condo w/ enough room for her to stay with us b/c she will cover the rent and utilities and we'd save for a house. But, I LOVE my FMIL, she's an awesome broad.

....now if it were the other way and I had to move into my parents home w/ FH, I'd sooner live under a highway underpass. FH's mom is very laid back and my mom is all up in your business so every fight we had she'd be up in.

---

I love how you say she's an awesome broad! lol,
I did the same thing and live w/FMIL for a year, I love my FMIL she's so laid back and so easy & understanding to talk to. Lol and she even always takes my side whenever me & FH argue. Anyway it saved us so much money and brought me closer to the Fam so I don't have any prob w/it. Although if it were my Fam, I think FH could care less but I know my own Mom would drive me crazy...

---

Posted by MISSESPINK722

I voted for no only because I cannot see myself moving back to my mother's house after Im gone, i love living on my own and not having here close by. i miss both my parents at times, but not enough to move in, i like the independance of being on my own

---

I hear ya but its not like I am living in a bedroom in her house. It is an apartment with a private entrance and its own kitchen, bathroom, etc. I probably won't even see them on a daily basis

Honestly, I'd stay where you are. What's that phrase? Familiarity breeds contempt? My mom offered each one of my sisters and I the chance to take the top floor of my parents house and they would have the basement with a separate entrance, and all 3 of us said NO. We love them dearly and for the most part get along well, but living that close together as adults would just be asking for trouble. We all have our own way of doing things, our own timelines on housework and where things should go, and what time we go to bed (we all like to stay up late, I couldn't imagine walking around at 3am and getting yelled at by Mom and Dad now, at age 33!!) We get along now living on our own. It would just be too close for comfort. Even though you've been living together for 3 1/2 yrs (we've been living together 1 yr already), you'll be getting used to living as husband and wife, and then to put your family that close into the mix would just make it harder, IMO.

I know how hard it is to not only pay your own living expenses, but pay for the wedding, b/c that's what we're doing. But I couldn't imagine living in my parents' house or that close to FH's parents without causing tons of tension that wasn't there before. Everyone has their opinions on how you should live your life, what you should do, what time you should get up in the morning or go to sleep at night. Also, the privacy issue could drive you crazy. They'd know when you're home, when you leave, what you're up to at all hours. Before my parents moved to FL, they were less than a mile from FH & my apt, but we still got into tiffs. FH's parents are in Bklyn and call him a lot too, but when he lived at home, they knew every part of his business. Living that close to either set of parents now would drive me crazy. What's funny is as soon as my mom would suggest the top floor idea, my dad butt into the conversation with NOOOOOO! He understood!

Sorry if I sound so adamant. Just a lot of issues with my mom's parents growing up, and they were 8 blocks away, but caused a TON of major family arguments over the years. Whatever you decide to do, weigh the pros and cons. If it comes down to just saving more $$, it may be difficult to scrape by and save whatever you can while still living on your own, but it's better than messing up the good family relationships that you have now. I hope this doesn't sound harsh!!