Quick background. FH and I have lived together for 3 1/2 yrs in a beautiful apartment in west babylon. It is close to where we both work, 2 bedrooms, huge kitchen, and a backyard. We pay $1,200 plus $150 for optimum triple play (cable, phone, internet)
Okay, so my mom lives in Holtsville, about 20 minutes east of us and the person renting the apartment in her house is leaving. She offered to give it to us for $500 a month with no cable bill, she will pay it. The apartment is only 1 bedroom, and it is living underneath my mom and step dad who seem to scream every word out of their mouths.
My step dad offered to put hard wood floors down in the entire apartment and redo the bathroom b/c it skeeves me out.
They want to help us be able to get a house after the wedding. We would be moving in March 1st and would hope to stay no more than a year and then buy a home closer to work again.
What would you guys do. There are so many pros and so many cons. It is really hard for us to decide. That is our plan for today, decide our living situation.
mrsblesie2b
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Re: FH and I have to make a big decision
If it were me, I would give it a try and move in the apartment at your moms....If it is truely horrible, then you can go back to paying more at an apartment complex; however, if you can tolerate it it will help you get your own home and not have to throw money away to rent...so I say give it try but thats JMO
040508Bride
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Re: FH and I have to make a big decision
I would stay where you are. The money isn't worth the potential aggrivation. We were offered a similar deal from FMIL but we turned it down and are very very happy this way. I don't think it's a good idea to do this, but then again, it depends on how bad you need the money. If you really need the money, then the answer speaks for itself. If you can live without it, then do that. Good luck.
tlp123
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Re: FH and I have to make a big decision
I didn't vote b/c I don't know your relationship with your mom. If it were me and my mom, I wouldn't live in the same house, no matter what the savings were. I love her, but we are better off in seperate places.
Also, think about gas prices. Will you be saving less money than you think b/c you are farther from work?
But if you are saving $850 a month, that is $10,200 in the year. Nothing to sneeze at.
So you just need to think it through with FH, make a pro and con list, and determine the weight of each pro and con.
HTH
FuTuRe MrS MaZz
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Re: FH and I have to make a big decision
I think you should consider yourself VERY lucky that you have a mother like yours who would do that for you! I would take her up on the offer... Why stay paying a stranger's mortgage??? It will help in the long run to save the 700 bucks a month... Thats 8400 a year...
MikeandJess
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Re: FH and I have to make a big decision
I think you should move in with your mom. It gives you an amazing chance to save for a downpayment for a home
DavaDay
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Re: FH and I have to make a big decision
I can't think of any amount of money that would be worth me living in a house with my mom again. She'd know every minute of the day if I was home and if I wasn't, so I have a feeling she'd drop by or call like 5 times a day. I'd be worried about being loud with FH in 'private moments,' and wouldn't be able to relax at all. I'd feel obligated to have dinner with them all the time, even if I just felt like being alone. Even if money were tight, I'm 29 years old and wouldn't want to feel like I'm living with my parents again. Even in a separate apartment with a separate entrance, that's just too much closeness for me.
I know your situation might be totally different; I'm just answering the question from my point of view.
dannisayz
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Re: FH and I have to make a big decision
I'm in the same situation as you are. I decided to move into my FMIL apartment downstairs. It is a bit smaller than our current place, but it's much closer to both of our jobs (save on gas $$$) and the rent is going to be much less. Plus, she might use the rent as $ towards a downpayment on her house and then, just sign it over to her.
I think the amount of money you'd be saving is worth the headache you might have. Plus, it's your own private space, so when the headache gets to be too much, you just go downstairs and shut the door.
jteach711
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Re: FH and I have to make a big decision
thank you for all your replies girls. You all have good points. We know how lucky we are to have the offer at all and me and my mom are super close.
I think the fact that fh and I have already lived together for so long might make it easier to live at moms. If we were going to be living together for the first time after the wedding I might be more inclined to be completely seperated from the parents. But we are really trying to build our future and be smart.
I will let you all know what we decide, if fh ever wakes up. We had a late night
jgl
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Re: FH and I have to make a big decision
personally, i would stay where you are. first off i think its hard in general to live as a couple with or in the same structure as your parents. But in your situation you have already been living on your own as a couple for over 3 years... its just my opinion that that may not work or be beneficial to your relationship
of course it depends on how your parents are as well. My parents are 'yellers' too and are constantly asking me to do things... My parents offered us the downstairs apartment - rent free, but FH refuses... he said it will not be good for our marriage.. ( knowing my family and being a psychologist makes him more insistant on not doing it)
jteach711
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Re: FH and I have to make a big decision
Posted by jgl
personally, i would stay where you are. first off i think its hard in general to live as a couple with or in the same structure as your parents. But in your situation you have already been living on your own as a couple for over 3 years... its just my opinion that that may not work or be beneficial to your relationship
of course it depends on how your parents are as well. My parents are 'yellers' too and are constantly asking me to do things... My parents offered us the downstairs apartment - rent free, but FH refuses... he said it will not be good for our marriage.. ( knowing my family and being a psychologist makes him more insistant on not doing it)
I totally understand what you are saying. FH and I actually lived in my moms apartment for 3 months before we found our own. So he knows what it is like and we managed then and we were only together 6 months. I think our relationship is strong enough to endure a year or less living underneath my parents. Our relationship is the last thing I would worry about if we moved there
Smiley7092
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Re: FH and I have to make a big decision
Of course it is your decision. I don't think I would live with my parents unless I had no money and wasn't able to do it on my own. What does your FH think? Also think of the expense of moving and just the annoyance of having to move when you can just stay where you are. I think you actually have a cheap apartment, I dont think that is a lot of money at all. I'm paying way more than that! But in the end it is up to you and FH! Good luck with your decision!
empressdani
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Re: FH and I have to make a big decision
Like everyone else said it depends on your relationship w/ your parents. Our situation is similar, FH and I are moving to Philly after the wedding. His mom has just moved there also and is helping us look for places to live. We agreed to find a apartment/condo w/ enough room for her to stay with us b/c she will cover the rent and utilities and we'd save for a house. But, I LOVE my FMIL, she's an awesome broad.
....now if it were the other way and I had to move into my parents home w/ FH, I'd sooner live under a highway underpass. FH's mom is very laid back and my mom is all up in your business so every fight we had she'd be up in.
SoontobeMrsH
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Re: FH and I have to make a big decision
Hmmn, We just went through somthing similar. We planned to buy a this year, but we were advised to wait another year since we're heading in to a recession... We are not happy in our current apt. complex, and the only one were were even interested in, has us on a waiting list. That complex would add 30 min. each way to FH's commute, and depending where I have to go (I'm a Field Rep) alot of time to my day. We decided to just stay put for another year, then buy...
If we had the option to live in one of our parents house with the cost your getting I would so take it! Our LIPA & Cable are what you would be paying for rent, If I were you I would do it, & out the $$ we would save in our ING acct, since they have the best interst rate, good luck
failurebydsign
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Re: FH and I have to make a big decision
im living with family now to save money..and it has made a big difference..
instead of the $300 a month we used to put in saving..we are now able to put in almost $1500 a month..and it has made all the difference in the world..you will still be living by yourselves kinda..so its not that bad..
siffleuse319
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Re: FH and I have to make a big decision
I bought a house by myself, with NO downpayment and no financial help from anyone. I highly recommend you avoid that situation at all costs. You are being given a huge opportunity to carve out a piece of earth for your self and your future family......bite the bullet now, and reap the benefits later..... JMHO.....
mRm2008
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Re: FH and I have to make a big decision
I would give it a shot and try saving some money. Use the savings as an investment in your future home purchase or other needs as your new family evolves. Best of luck and many blessings!
SparkyandAng
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Re: FH and I have to make a big decision
I'd do it in a second if it would help get a house faster. The time goes by VERY quickly, look at how quickly our weddings are approaching. The only reason I'd think not to do it would be if you don't have a good relationship with your Mom or your FH doesn't get along with her. Other than that, couldn't see any reason not to. When will you ever have another opportunity to save $850 a month?
Good luck whatever you decide.
xXxNovember08xXx
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Re: FH and I have to make a big decision
Posted by MikeandJess
I think you should move in with your mom. It gives you an amazing chance to save for a downpayment for a home
ditto..
its a great oppourtunity to save $$
hyphenbride
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Re: FH and I have to make a big decision
I think it all depends on your relationship with your mom and stepdad and whether or not you both could lay down some ground rules before you move in that you would abide by.
It could be a great thing for you and FH, especially in the long run. However, if you think it may damage the relationship you have with FH or your parents, then it might not be worth the cost.
