FH and I just had a huge blowout

Becca2010 Posted: Jan 22, 2010 11:17 AM

FH and I just had a huge blowout

It was bad. I've been mad at him in the past, but this was just awful.

His very close friend's grandmother passed away and the family was sitting shiva from Tuesday through Thursday. He called FH, told him about it and asked that he come on Wednesday. FH didn't go AT ALL. I only found out about it Wed and tried to go last night, but I left work late and the house was in Syosset. I called FH's friend and left a voicemail apologizing.

Today, FH's friend calls me back and he's REALLY upset with FH.

I approach FH and tell him he has to cow down, call his friend and apologize. He starts making excuses for why he couldn't go: he didn't have the hours for the shiva, he didn't know the exact address, he couldn't leave work early enough to make it, etc.

This is his good friend. He should have at least TRIED.
I SCREAMED at him after he started yelling about his excuses.
Now we hate each other. he doesn't want to come to TWOTY. I am so angry at him.

Clover23 Posted: Jan 22, 2010 11:18 AM

Re: FH and I just had a huge blowout

i'd be mad at him too though

Lsorrent Posted: Jan 22, 2010 11:19 AM

Re: FH and I just had a huge blowout

Yea I have to agree with you on this one..........death's in a close friend's family are definitely a priority.

elisa112101 Posted: Jan 22, 2010 11:20 AM

Re: FH and I just had a huge blowout

i would be mad too... but it is his friend.. he should be upset, not you...

emc282rjm Posted: Jan 22, 2010 11:20 AM

Re: FH and I just had a huge blowout

I definitely see why you're upset!

kris_gets_hitched Posted: Jan 22, 2010 11:20 AM

Re: FH and I just had a huge blowout

I'd probably react in the same way, Becca.

AngnShaun Posted: Jan 22, 2010 11:20 AM

Re: FH and I just had a huge blowout

yeah i totally have to agree with you on this also... if this is his good friend there should have been effort... or at least tell his friend that he had other commitments and couldnt make it..

mrsdraskin2009 Posted: Jan 22, 2010 11:21 AM

Re: FH and I just had a huge blowout

Yes I would be upset too. He should have been there for his best friend.

On the flipside, does he get freaked out by death? Maybe he was a little freaked out to go?

Anyway, he still should have gone.

rdubs Posted: Jan 22, 2010 11:22 AM

Re: FH and I just had a huge blowout

I totally understand that you are mad and you are right! Is there something else going on with their friendship that made FH not want to go?

I really hope you guys can reconcile and go to TWOTY....

little j Posted: Jan 22, 2010 11:22 AM

Re: FH and I just had a huge blowout

everyone handles sad news and death differently. just tell him to talk to his friend. but i wouldnt yell at him much more

i know im really bad when it comes to stuff like this...i just want to avoid everything rather than deal with seeing others sad....

its good that your pushing him...or maybe he would go if you went together...but idk bout more yelling

sorry about all of this

halfbaked Posted: Jan 22, 2010 11:22 AM

Re: FH and I just had a huge blowout

Yeah I'd be pissed, too. He was wrong and he knows it which is probably why he was so defensive. Hopefully he'll do the right thing and apologize to you BOTH.

Becca2010 Posted: Jan 22, 2010 11:22 AM

Re: FH and I just had a huge blowout

Posted by mrsdraskin2009

Yes I would be upset too. He should have been there for his best friend.

On the flipside, does he get freaked out by death? Maybe he was a little freaked out to go?

Anyway, he still should have gone.

Not really, plus it wasn't a wake. It was just the family sitting around and talking. I didn't expect this of him. I told his priorities are effed up.

grkbarbie Posted: Jan 22, 2010 11:24 AM

Re: FH and I just had a huge blowout

i wouldnt fight over it to tell u the truth. thats something that fh should handle with his friend. thank god u stepped up and spoke to the friend and apologized though!

have fh call him and say sorry.. but def dont fight over it.

AdriandSteve Posted: Jan 22, 2010 11:25 AM

Re: FH and I just had a huge blowout

I 100% agree with you. I'd let it sit for awhile, be mad, and see what happens next.

Jenna_and_John Posted: Jan 22, 2010 11:29 AM

Re: FH and I just had a huge blowout

Oh no it'll work out, he'll realize he messed up and come forward and apologize, hang in there!!!!

Becca2010 Posted: Jan 22, 2010 11:30 AM

Re: FH and I just had a huge blowout

Posted by grkbarbie

i wouldnt fight over it to tell u the truth. thats something that fh should handle with his friend. thank god u stepped up and spoke to the friend and apologized though!

have fh call him and say sorry.. but def dont fight over it.

i told him to do that. he said he would and then he starts with his 'but this, but that...' I am so angry, i am in tears and that NEVER happens to me. I am so disappointed in him

FutureCap Posted: Jan 22, 2010 11:32 AM

Re: FH and I just had a huge blowout

he should have definitely tried harder to go.. there were 3 days. when its only one day, sometimes ir really is just not possible. i would be mad... he should have atleast called the friend.

GiannisWifey Posted: Jan 22, 2010 11:34 AM

Re: FH and I just had a huge blowout

i would be more upset and disappointed than mad at hime....i totally get where you are coming from. Sometimes guys don't see things from our view and it totally takes them days, if ever, to realize they were wrong...

RGEC47 Posted: Jan 22, 2010 11:38 AM

Re: FH and I just had a huge blowout

I have to agree with you and the girls. I would be upset/dissappointed with FH as well. But you did reach out to his friend. I don't want to excuse FH actions, but do you think he maybe feels a little wierd handling such a sensitive subject?