FH is going to FREAK

Let me preface this by saying I am NOT ungrateful one bit. And it's part and parcel with having so many OOT guests, because let's face it, you just don't get cards at OOT weddings, it's completely a NY, LI specifically geared thing...

But our registry has been going NUTS the past few weeks. A box set of Mikasa Parchment has been purchased from, we believe, FMIL's OOT best friend, we are getting some small items from a friend of FH's, we're assuming the missing items from the registry that I was 'supposed' to get at the shower will turn up as wedding gifts, etc...

So I've been adding things here and there, mainly using the registry as a shopping list for after the wedding, like the things we still need to get on our own...I told FH I wanted a Keurig (after seeing everyone talk about the french toast flavored k-cups here haha), and he told me no, it's a waste, and I said I'd use it every day since I'm the only coffee drinker, and use the pot for parties...so I ignored him, as I usually do, and added it...

And someone bought it this weekend! Amongst several other items.

FH is going to flip his shiz and make me return it And say it's my 'fault' that we didn't get checks...I've already accepted a long, long time ago, especially it being a small wedding with so many OOT guests that just don't go by NY customs, that this would be the case...and I'm not upset by it really...but I WANT MY KEURIG!!!!!!! He's just annoyed because he's straight NY mentality, registries are for showers, checks are for weddings, and he's getting all pissy about getting physical gifts for the wedding, and I'm like yay, things! Total different mindset lol.



The little monkey better let me keep my pretty red Keurig!

I would take it off the registry too. He'll never know the difference. Just say someone sent it to you.

We definitely got physical gifts that we did not register for.

Could you maybe tell him that your mom got it for you as a little extra so he won't be upset?

I told DH that in regards to our video so he wouldnt get mad at me for getting video lol.

It's nice getting checks, but if people are finishing up your registry, thats nice too. I mean, you'd only have to finish it out yourself and pay the money anyway right? (in terms of china, silverware, etc). And honestly, I'd be happy with anything from OOT guests, especially if they have to pay for a hotel room and travel. I also have a lot of OOT guests (sort of), and I've already been told by 2 of FH's relatives not to expect too much in the envelopes if anything is in there at all. Nice, huh.
If he's going to get annoyed by getting gifts instead of checks, just remind him that he's lucky to be getting a gift at all. You can always return the gifts and exchange it for something very expensive you'd never buy yourself normally.

Also, it's better to register for things than to get a bunch of things you can't return and don't need.

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Posted by seawedding

Ali I'm probably way out of line by saying this but I'm going to anyway. You two are partners and it sounds like you walk on eggshells with FH sometimes and like he's a little bossy. It may not be true but it sometimes comes off like that. You deserve to be happy! If you want to keep something, keep something. It's just as much your say as it is his. It is not your fault that some people prefer to send gifts. Enjoy all of your happiness and excitement, you deserve the best.

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Definitely not out of line...I appreciate everyone's advice and input, and if I didn't want it, I wouldn't share as much as I do lol.

Our issue is that I'm always right...and he's always right...you know? And he thinks it's stupid for me to assume that my way is right and he should cooperate with it because I said so, and I think the same for him...compromise will be the greatest lesson for us to learn in our marriage.

Of course, a lot of it also sounds worse than it is in actuality, because I tend to be a little too descriptive with my verbiage haha...and a lot of it is just straight out little dog syndrome.

I'm keeping my Keurig and you know what, I'll catch him using it too.

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Posted by coldasice217

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Posted by seawedding

Ali I'm probably way out of line by saying this but I'm going to anyway. You two are partners and it sounds like you walk on eggshells with FH sometimes and like he's a little bossy. It may not be true but it sometimes comes off like that. You deserve to be happy! If you want to keep something, keep something. It's just as much your say as it is his. It is not your fault that some people prefer to send gifts. Enjoy all of your happiness and excitement, you deserve the best.

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Definitely not out of line...I appreciate everyone's advice and input, and if I didn't want it, I wouldn't share as much as I do lol.

Our issue is that I'm always right...and he's always right...you know? And he thinks it's stupid for me to assume that my way is right and he should cooperate with it because I said so, and I think the same for him...compromise will be the greatest lesson for us to learn in our marriage.

Of course, a lot of it also sounds worse than it is in actuality, because I tend to be a little too descriptive with my verbiage haha...and a lot of it is just straight out little dog syndrome.

I'm keeping my Keurig and you know what, I'll catch him using it too.

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I totally get you! I have way too many people in my family who suffer (or rather make us suffer) from 'always right syndrome.'

Tell him to shut it...as you sip your coffee of course


Just tell him you reallllly wanted it and throw something on the registry that you know he really wanted... or at least say you did.

man im really bad with the advice today