FH is REALLY mad at me...

Thrilled Posted: Mar 03, 2003 01:19 PM

FH is REALLY mad at me...

He went to wash the car this morning and discovered a long scratch or something where I had sideswiped the car backing it in to our driveway during the blizzard. I remember hearing a bump that day and got out to look and did not see anything and so did not report it, right? THERE WAS NOTHING THERE!

The scratch was unearthed today and boy is he furious. He think I 'lied to him.' I didn't intentionally lie to him, or try and keep anything from him (I truly thought there was no damage to the car) and plus, as you can see, he overreacts to every situation, so I didn't think it was worth it to tell him.

Now what do I do? He hung up on me.

shelzyp Posted: Mar 03, 2003 01:22 PM

Re: FH is REALLY mad at me...

If I was in this situation, I would tell him to get over it, it is just a car, but then again, that would not go over well with my FH. His truck is his baby. Can you maybe voulnteer to try and buff the scratch out or take it to get fixed maybe?

nrvbrd Posted: Mar 03, 2003 01:23 PM

Re: FH is REALLY mad at me...

Men and their cars. I can almsot picture your FH's face, because mine is so in love with his car it is pathetic.

Explain to him that you did NOT know about the scratch. Tell him how badly you feel and offer to repair it.

Ronnie&Theresa Posted: Mar 03, 2003 01:24 PM

Re: FH is REALLY mad at me...

Just fix it..

Men and cars..

We wont ever understand!

Misty Posted: Mar 03, 2003 01:25 PM

Re: FH is REALLY mad at me...

I think that's a little harsh considering the circumstances....it was a BLIZZARD for crying out loud. Salt on the streets can cause scratches, does he think his car is imune? Let him be mad, he'll get over it. Offer to get it buffed out (it's a two minute process) and that's it.

wacky Posted: Mar 03, 2003 01:25 PM

Re: FH is REALLY mad at me...

tell him you are not a child and its was an accident. turn the tables on him, they hate that.

Sassy Posted: Mar 03, 2003 01:31 PM

Re: FH is REALLY mad at me...

Tell him you are not afraid of him, if you had noticed it, you would've told him. Also tell him you dont appreciate him hanging up on you over a car.
Then offer to get it fixed and tell him to get over himself.

Thrilled Posted: Mar 03, 2003 01:34 PM

Re: FH is REALLY mad at me...

I kept saying 'Is there anyway to fix it? What do we do now?' and he kept saying 'No, Rachel, there is not. I'm $%^&ed and my car looks like ****e. There is nothing to do.'

Mind you, he overreacts to any stressful situation, but ESPECIALLY anything involving his car. AND when I bumped it I was coming back from getting newspapers and breakfast because he was too friggin lazy to do it himself. He says my car privileges are now suspended (yes it is his car, not mine, I contribute nothing towards its payments or insurance). I say Fine, get your own **** breakfast from here on out.

Do I tell him the truth that I DID hear a bump but there was no damage? How much does buffing cost?

nrvbrd Posted: Mar 03, 2003 01:35 PM

Re: FH is REALLY mad at me...

Though I think that Thrilled should not be disrespected by her FH (the hangup) we donot want this to escalate into a full blown argument.

I would give him some time to cool off, do NOT call him back because he may hang up on you again or say something rude out of anger.

Wait until tonight when you see each other face to face and have a rational discussion. Be the more mature person and be calm do not let your self get all upset that will not solve anything.

NovemberSue Posted: Mar 03, 2003 01:36 PM

Re: FH is REALLY mad at me...

I would just tell him that you really didn't see anything that day when you looked.
Tell him that you feel so bad that this happened and ask him if you think it can be buffed out.
(I think its all about the tone of voice you use when you talk to him.Tell him very nicely that you really didn't see any scratches when you looked.I'm sure he will calm down soon.)

nrvbrd Posted: Mar 03, 2003 01:37 PM

Re: FH is REALLY mad at me...

NO DONOT TELL HIM THE TRUTH!!!!

This will make things worse.

Crisco718 Posted: Mar 03, 2003 01:39 PM

Re: FH is REALLY mad at me...

I go through car issues a lot. FH is also madly in love with our car. Everytime I use it he inspects it to tell me if there is dirt on the rung, and dings, scratches, etc.

Our last fight was b/c my nephew who is 2 years old dropped a skittle (1 skittle) in the car!!!!! My nephew lives in another state and I rarely see him so I told FH to get over it!!! It will all blow over eventually. When the arguing is happening it seems like the worst thing ever, but it always passes. Say your apologies and leave it at that!

OctBride03 Posted: Mar 03, 2003 01:40 PM

Re: FH is REALLY mad at me...

I agree with Nrvbrd... Don't call him back... let him simmer down...

Rachel, a car swiped my car a few years back leaving scratches and black all over the back of my white car... and FH used this stuff that took the stratches right out... UM... I CANNOT think of it now, but I will let you know as soon as I speak to John... OH, wait, compound! it takes a VERY tiny layer of paint off, but it removes the scratch, as soon as he put that stuff on it disappeared, you do have to WAX it right away though, so that it looks shiny again! I'm sorry you are so sad... don't worry... he'll come around!

Cheer up hun!

nrvbrd Posted: Mar 03, 2003 01:41 PM

Re: FH is REALLY mad at me...

Totally agree with November.

It is all about HOW you say things.

When FH and I disagree and he gets all bent out of shape, I maintain my composure and speak calmly.
That really boggles him, then he calms down.

One thing DO NOT KISS HIS A$$, and beg for forgiveness, admit to your mistake, offer to rectify it and move forward.

Thrilled Posted: Mar 03, 2003 01:46 PM

Re: FH is REALLY mad at me...

Thanks, girls.

teresa518 Posted: Mar 03, 2003 01:52 PM

Re: FH is REALLY mad at me...

I agree with the other girls. You should tell him what happened (but don't call him back now - the situation is too heated). Offer to repair it - trust me, anything can be repaired on a car.

Whether or not the scratch can be repaired will depend on how deep the scratch goes. Some can be buffed out or some may need to be touched up. If you take it to a good body shop, I'm sure they can touch it up well. We've had 4 accidents with our last car (bad luck I swear) and all were fixable like they never happened. It's amazing what they can do with paint these days.

Incidentally, my DH scratched my car with the garbage can when it was brand new - he was impatient and didn't want to wait for me to move it. I was furious. I got over it but I still look at the scratch (haven't gottne it fixed yet) and it makes my stomach boil. Especially because I know he would never let me live it down if I did that to his car!!!!!

Good luck.

Fletch Posted: Mar 03, 2003 02:15 PM

Re: FH is REALLY mad at me...

How can he proove it was you? lol Has he not used the car since you backed it out?

Samanthas Mom Posted: Mar 03, 2003 02:17 PM

Re: FH is REALLY mad at me...

I would just tell him you didnt tell him b/c you didnt see anything! that you werent trying to hide it and then just get it fixed even if you have to charge it on a credit card
he will calm down I am sure- they are always mad then it has to die down

jennbaby Posted: Mar 03, 2003 02:21 PM

Re: FH is REALLY mad at me...

Can it be compounded out?

Thrilled Posted: Mar 03, 2003 02:23 PM

Re: FH is REALLY mad at me...

I'll go home and tell him 'I wracked my brains all afternoon trying to remember if there was a time when I thought I scratched the car, and I remembere a slight bump a few weeks ago, but when I got out to look there was nothing there so I didn't mention it.'

Bad idea? Good idea?