FH is really making me upset...

On Sunday FH and I went to look at tux's. Little early but I like to plan ahead. Here is the problem, my dress is ivory...so you would assume that FH's tux would be black with ivory shirt vest and tie... Well this turned in to a huge fight in the rental place . So I let a few day's go by to say that the GM should probaly wear ivory too (BM dresses are brown) WELL it was to early to say that because he said and i quote ' I AM NOT WEARING IVORY' so now we are not talking. What do I do? I don't want my dress to look dirty if he wears white... :

Re: FH is really making me upset...

I totally can understand how you wouldnt want it to be a noticable difference. I think he will have to just compromise and just wear the ivory!! He is not going to be covered in it like you are and he has to understand that matching is just the thing to do.

Re: FH is really making me upset...

i hear ya.....maybe you can just stay away from all shades of white for him? good luck!

Re: FH is really making me upset...

My dress is white and my FH didnt want to wear a white tie and vest also. So he is wearing a dark grey vest/tie that has a paisley kind of print to it and the GM are wearing all black vest/tie with the same print. He could do that...

As my FH said to me 'I didn't tell you what to wear so I should get to have some say in what I wear'. It was a nice compromise. HTH!

Smile, you're getting married soon!

Re: FH is really making me upset...

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Posted by alnem

My dress is white and my FH didnt want to wear a white tie and vest also. So he is wearing a dark grey vest/tie that has a paisley kind of print to it and the GM are wearing all black vest/tie with the same print. He could do that...

As my FH said to me 'I didn't tell you what to wear so I should get to have some say in what I wear'. It was a nice compromise. HTH!

Smile, you're getting married soon!

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I would suggest something like this. Maybe gray would be a good compromise for you!

Re: FH is really making me upset...

If it helps any, we had a similar argument over something just as stupid in the tux place. He didn't want to wear a white vest and tie.

So we compromised and he is now wearing a platinum vest and tie, and the guys are wearing silver (the dresses are bordeaux).

Maybe you can do something similar, all you have to tell him is as long as he doesn't wear white, he can wear whatever other color he wants!!

Maybe put him in silver and the groomsmen in black?

Re: FH is really making me upset...

Silly question... Why? WHat's the deal with ivory? I don't get it

Re: FH is really making me upset...

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Posted by klslk

Silly question... Why? WHat's the deal with ivory? I don't get it

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Some say that if the bride's dress is ivory, the groom and groomsmen's shirts should be ivory so not to make the bridal gown look 'dingy'.

My dress was ivory/spun gold and my BMs wore brown as well.

You are not telling FH what to wear, I simply asked him to pick out whatever he wanted as long as he could wear an ivory shirt and the GMs as well.....he said why? I told him my dress wasn't 'white' and explained the situation in the tux place, and he looked at me like I was crazy. The man in the tux place agreed with me and that was that last of it.

It really shouldn't be something to fight over, even though I had a tough time with it as well.
And in the end, I don't think it would have even mattered......

Re: FH is really making me upset...

It's going to look great no matter what... don't sweat the small stuff, it's not worth it!

Re: FH is really making me upset...

I wouldnt stress too much about it, My dress is diamond white, and has ivory lace. And the biggest problem for us was that each tux guy was telling us something different..some said to wear a black tux w/an ivory tie, ivory shirt,and ivory vest and other said NEVER to do the in the 'clean crisp' look is to wear the ivory vest /tie with an ivory shirt--they said it should be ivory vest, ivory tie , and a white shirt! In fact a bunch of people told us NOT to do the ivory vest and ivory shirt. You know what? TOO MANY OPINIONS!! Go with whatever YOU want! I gotta tell you..we are getting married in 5 weeks, and we just decided the other day..This was a huge stress for us, and chances are...who the heck is going to notice. All this stress for what? Think about it, do you remember about caring or even remembering what shirt the vest and tie was at even one wedding you went to? God knows i dont, and i have stressed about this probably more than anyone....My Fh is just 'whatever you want dear' Guess he figures, if I am stressed, it makes his life more miserable...so the 'yes dear' thing is working well for him right now! (And me too!) BUT, we are going with the white shirt, and ivory vest and tie, for my FH. We thought the ivory vest and tie blended too much togethrr, and the tie and vest just got lost, next to the ivory shrt. Boy, i hope I didnt confuse you more, but maybe he will like the white shirt, and ivory vest. Thats a compromise, right? Either way, it is your wedding, and you can do whatever you want! I think i have a pic of the ivory next to ivory and ivory next to the white...Fm me if you want a picture...and dont worry...Everything will work out...it always does!

Re: FH is really making me upset...

I wouldn't stress too much...

This is probably a time where I would pick my battle...

I am sure in the future you will laugh at yourselves for not talking to each other over ivory vs. white..

Re: FH is really making me upset...

I think that he should let you match it to your dress if that is what you want. It will look nice, especially with the brown BM dresses. It's a nice mix.

Why doesen't he want to wear ivory?

Re: FH is really making me upset...

He's a baby and dosen't like it...

Re: FH is really making me upset...

I understand how you feel...strange the things guys care about, huh? How about a comprimise -- ivory tie and vest with a white shirt.

Re: FH is really making me upset...

Dh didn't want to wear an ivory shirt at first either, but you know what, he wouldn't have even known it was ivory if he didn't actually 'know.'

Re: FH is really making me upset...

Let him order a white shirt and carry a back up ivory shirt with you. Then spill something on his white shirt and guve him the ivory one to chnage into. Just kidding. Give him a side by side comparison of ivoory and white and let him see the difference. I'm sure that once he sees it he will agree not to wear white. Tell him to choose any color besides white. Good luck!

Re: FH is really making me upset...

I would not worry about it at all. My dress was 'Sand' colored, and Ivory would have gone best, however my husband wanted nothing to do with ivory...it didn't matter at all, the pictures were fine, and it just wasn't worth fighting about.. You do not have to be matching perfectly.

Re: FH is really making me upset...

I don't understand. What does he want to wear? White, not ivory? What's the difference? When we were in the tux place, they gave FH an ivory shirt by mistake and he had no idea it wasn't really white until they said something.

Re: FH is really making me upset...

We, too, had a huge fight in Men's Warehouse about this.

My dress was ivory, and my girls wore chocolate brown. Ultimately, it wasn't about the shirt at all-- the ivoiry shirt looks just like a white shirt unless you hold it next to the white shirt. Once the Mens Warehouse people explained the importance of the shirt color, he was fine with that. The vest and tie were the real sticking points, but we arrived at a compromise.

I initially wanted DH in ivory and the groomsmen in black vests and ties. He thought he and the groomsmen should all wear the same thing-- all black or all silver. In the final analysis, DH ended up wearing a black vest and tie, and the groomsmen wore vests that had a very subtle gold and black (not flashy or prom-ish) pattern that complemented the brown dresses nicely.

I totally empathize with your situation. Don't worry, you'll find a solution that you both can live with.

Re: FH is really making me upset...

I'm a little confused....do you want him to wear an ivory shirt, tie and vest? or just an ivory vest and tie? just checking....if so (on the shirt as well).....honestly, the ivory shirt may not match your dress or the vest and tie...it may just look like a dingy white shirt. maybe if you let the shirt go, he'll come around to the vest and tie? I have to admit that whoever said 'I didn't tell you what to wear' has a rather valid point...we kind of pick everything out sometimes and then when we invite the guys into our world to get a tux, we refuse for compromise on their input. or maybe an ivory with a pattern....

no matter what, deep breaths and remember, it's his day, too and this is his special outfit...just like your dress is yours.

good luck. don't sweat it, he'll come around...my FH had insisted on a bowtie which i just did not want....he said no one wears a 'regular' tie with a tux...3 weeks later he picked up his tux for a wedding he was in, guess what? 'regular' tie! he then admitted in the store that it looks better than he thought and is now anti-bowtie as well!