FH is starting to reconsider our RH...i need your help.
Ilovebriani
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FH is starting to reconsider our RH...i need your help.
Hey girls, i am having such a hard time here! FH and i already booked our RH...but now he is REALLY starting to doubt it b/c he is worried that it will be too much $$$. He just does not want it to end up breaking us in the end! We are going to have about 250 guests (both have big families) and are going to end up paying most of the wedding ourselves! So, now he has been trying to convince me to change our RH! (with good intentions, but sometimes it makes me feel really guilty...i already explained to him how i felt so he knows, it's just a tough situation.) The thing is, we know we can afford the wedding, we make decent money and i work en extra job on top of that....i am even willing to get a third job if need be. (he just dosnt think i should have to do that...or if i do, the money should go towards a house instead of a wedding) basically we would end up using a year of savings to pay for the wedding.
So now, being the girl that i am...i have always dreamed of an a fairytale type wedding. I really wanted to have it in a beautiful RH ! The way weddings are on long island, it's so hard to make it less expensive without feeling like you are downgrading (at least to me, that is how i feel). All of my life there were times when i felt like all these people around me had all these things and i couldnt afford them...but now that i am working and make my own $$ i feel like the wedding is something i want to splurge on. I just feel stuck and do not know what to do. FH insists that he wants me to be happy so whatever decision i make he will be fine with....but i know if i stick with our RH, i will end up feeling guilty. Today he is taking me to look at the ballroom at Adelphi University (he works there). Does anyone have any suggestions of less expensive places on L.I. that are still classy?? (or can be made classy?) I would even consider having the ceremony upstate NY since things are a lot less $$ there, but then i dont think a lot of my work friends would be able to come since it is farther away...i really want them to be there. I just dont know what to do! I am so upset about this! any advice would be SOO greatly appreciated!
blu6385
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Re: FH is starting to reconsider our RH...i need your help.
i am not sure were you are getting married ... but why dont you switch the date till earlier in the year off season then it would be cheaper ...
JoeJo
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Re: FH is starting to reconsider our RH...i need your help.
NOOO you cant change!!..I am waving to you!!
blu6385
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Re: FH is starting to reconsider our RH...i need your help.
or maybe swtich your day to a Friday or Sunday instead!!
blu6385
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Re: FH is starting to reconsider our RH...i need your help.
after looking at the Date Twin Thread I see you getting married at CLM ... FYI: i am paying 65 plus tax and grat. for a sunday in April ...
Autumn08
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Re: FH is starting to reconsider our RH...i need your help.
I don't know where you are having the reception or the ceremony but there are many ways to keep wedding costs down. Just about everything involved is an accessory and you don't need it! So as you are planning just keep asking yourself do you really need it.
First set up a budget. I personally like theknot.com budgeter. You put in the amount of guests and your budget and it gives suggestions on where to allocate money. Pretty thorough and helpful!
If you are still unsure ask to book the basic option with option to add at quoted prices. That's what I'm doing with DJs because I want great entertainment.
These vendors want your business and your $$$. Remember it's your $$$ you are spending and if they want it they need to be flexible and willing to negotiate.
As for the reception hall. I don't know where it is but if it's a Suffolk location you will be able to get most of your money back if you choose to rebook. Meet with the banquet manager again and explain your situation. They want your money and should be willing to work with you. Can you try an off day (any day other than saturday night)? Or an off peak month (Jan. Feb. March or November)?
Another option to cut costs is to cut the guest list. I know this is difficult but it's the quickest way. If you can cut 10 people at 100pp (nice round number) that's $1000 off plus the centerpiece for the table which can be anywhere from $50-$150 or more and favors if you are doing them! Many brides choose not to include children or no children under a certain age or singles with no guests. Now this is only a suggestion because both ways of cutting guests is controvesial on the boards and with families, I'm only suggesting it because I know people who do it.
Ilovebriani
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Re: FH is starting to reconsider our RH...i need your help.
yeah we were thinking about april....we have to do it on a sat. b/c of the church, but ours in in the daytime. sat day in may is 80 + tax, grat. i know it is less in april but we switched it to May b/c the church has to be a 11....and the CH in april starts at 12:30...CLM is 30 mins away from my church....i didnt think it would be enough time to get there and take pics, etc....so we switched it! (maybe we shouldnt have...) SO if we do it in may the CH will start at 1:30....so there would be more time. Maybe we could try and switch it back to april and just be really rushed...i dunno. I'd rather do that then have it at a place i dont like as much.
Autumn08
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Re: FH is starting to reconsider our RH...i need your help.
Posted by Ilovebriani
yeah we were thinking about april....we have to do it on a sat. b/c of the church, but ours in in the daytime. sat day in may is 80 + tax, grat. i know it is less in april but we switched it to May b/c the church has to be a 11....and the CH in april starts at 12:30...CLM is 30 mins away from my church....i didnt think it would be enough time to get there and take pics, etc....so we switched it! (maybe we shouldnt have...) SO if we do it in may the CH will start at 1:30....so there would be more time. Maybe we could try and switch it back to april and just be really rushed...i dunno. I'd rather do that then have it at a place i dont like as much.
You may miss part of the CH doing it in Arpil.
Ilovebriani
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Re: FH is starting to reconsider our RH...i need your help.
thanks! these are good tips. it is so hard though, we may try to cut some of the guests if we can (we already are not inviting too many friends though, and we cant really cut family members)....but maybe we will try to talk to CLM and see what our options are...i just feel so bad b/c i dont want to piss them off. we are def. gunna do low centerpieces. and prob just a dj....(of course i would love a percussionist!) FH says...'if we did a less expensive place we could have as many extras as we wanted!! ie: a really good band, a photo booth, etc, and it would still be less expensive (he thinks). ' he is all into the idea of doing a place less expensive and customizing it on our own.
Ilovebriani
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Re: FH is starting to reconsider our RH...i need your help.
Posted by Autumn08
Posted by Ilovebriani
yeah we were thinking about april....we have to do it on a sat. b/c of the church, but ours in in the daytime. sat day in may is 80 + tax, grat. i know it is less in april but we switched it to May b/c the church has to be a 11....and the CH in april starts at 12:30...CLM is 30 mins away from my church....i didnt think it would be enough time to get there and take pics, etc....so we switched it! (maybe we shouldnt have...) SO if we do it in may the CH will start at 1:30....so there would be more time. Maybe we could try and switch it back to april and just be really rushed...i dunno. I'd rather do that then have it at a place i dont like as much.
You may miss part of the CH doing it in Arpil.
yeaha that's exactly the reason we switched it, lol...
Autumn08
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Re: FH is starting to reconsider our RH...i need your help.
Are you considering looking into a new venue? There are many beautiful places so maybe you could keep looking with FH to see whats out there and your options etc... At least hear FH out and then decide because you said he'd be fine with whatever you choose. Maybe you'll find another place you love, maybe not but you tried
Let us know how it goes! I know all this money stuff is annoying.
Kris10546
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Re: FH is starting to reconsider our RH...i need your help.
There are plenty of beautiful places that may be less then CLM. I am not too familiar with Suffolk County but I would check out the price quotes thread for '08 and you should see all different price ranges. I was totally in the same boat as you and I found a place that was well within my budget that I fell in love with. CLM was my top choice until I saw Bridgeview.
Ilovebriani
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Re: FH is starting to reconsider our RH...i need your help.
thank u so much girls! your advice is really hepful! yeah , we are going to look at a few other places just in case. I will def. let u know how it goes. FH just called a place called stuart thomas manor in massapequa that is supposed to be 65 a head for a night Reception. i dont know though, the website wasnt as nice as CLM! It just a plain hall basically. but we are going to check it out. anyone hear of it?
Ilovebriani
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Re: FH is starting to reconsider our RH...i need your help.
Posted by JoeJo
NOOO you cant change!!..I am waving to you!!
aww! trust me i dont want to! i will let u know what happens! i will miss my date twin!! FH and i were even considering switching to like sept/oct. 07....but i would miss my 08ers too much, lol
Autumn08
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Re: FH is starting to reconsider our RH...i need your help.
Posted by Ilovebriani
Posted by JoeJo
NOOO you cant change!!..I am waving to you!!
aww! trust me i dont want to! i will let u know what happens! i will miss my date twin!! FH and i were even considering switching to like sept/oct. 07....but i would miss my 08ers too much, lol
That's not a bad idea! Some places want to book any available dates and give good deals! Good luck and keep us posted!
jgl
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Re: FH is starting to reconsider our RH...i need your help.
Well I hope you 2 come to some decision.
I am sure there are other beautiful halls that you could use, that are cheaper or change to a thur night. I think most of us woman want the fairy tale wedding and everything included, but reality is, it is ONE night. I prefer putting the money towards a house and maybe cutting some things out. My future with FH is much more important than the glitz and the glam.
But I totally understand how you must feel. You will figure it all out! I wish you the best in deciding!
Mrs. V 2008
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Re: FH is starting to reconsider our RH...i need your help.
why not reconsider the day or month?? having a wedding off peak can really save alot of money!! also what about a daytime wedding?
cherish83
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Re: FH is starting to reconsider our RH...i need your help.
The winter may be even better. How about changing to january or february of 08.
cindy104
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Re: FH is starting to reconsider our RH...i need your help.
Definitely try doing an off season month like anywhere from October - April. Jan. and Feb. are especially cheapest. And definitely consider a Friday or Sunday night. The Sunday before Memorial Day or the Sunday in October before Columbus Day are great b/c of the holidays the next day and most people are off. Also, another way is to have a day wedding. ALOT cheaper than evening.
I see your problem with the church times and all too and with possibly not making CH too. Which I would feel the same way!! Did you guys consider maybe just having the ceremony at the RH?? That's an idea!!
As for other RH's, I suggest Larkfield Manor...we got an AWESOME deal!! (See Harry )
I also hear that Riviera and Mediterranean Manor have great prices too! And Mediterranean Manor has package deals too! I have read some good things on here about Stuart Thomas Manor....so I would definitely check it out!
