Last night FH and I were talking on the phone... Things have been tough financially due to the fact that we are getting married next month, are in the process of buying a home and we both hate our jobs (me especially) and are considering quitting.
2 years ago right before we got engaged, we had broken up and I considered things officially over (we had dated off and on for 6 years). I was devastated but began moving on after a while. Anyway, we would up getting back together after about 2 months of being apart and he proposed. I chalked the whole thing up to his being really nervous at the time about getting engaged.
Now, last night, he says to me that if he could go back in time to 2 years ago, he never would've gotten back together with me. Now, I am buying a house with this man (where I am providing ~75% of the down payment), and we are having a wedding next month where my parents are footing the entire $40K bill.
I don't know what to make of that comment... I always knew he wasn't crazy about the idea of having a wedding & marriage altogether, but to say what he said - I feel like I should seriously consider calling the whole thing off.
bridetobe1105
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Re: FH made a horrible comment...
Thank you so much everyone for your support and advice!!!
I did speak to him very briefly today from work and he apologized for his comment, and said that he 'didn't mean it the way I took it, and he is just stressed about everything'.
I told him that I didn't want to talk at work about it and that I would call him later tonight. I still don't know if I am ready to talk about it though...
I would never say something so hurtful to him...
I'll keep you updated...
babybug631
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Re: FH made a horrible comment...
He may just be saying that because he's stressed. I would sit down and talk to him. Sometimes people say very hurtful things that they don't really mean.
Mrs.A2006
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Re: FH made a horrible comment...
Take time out tonight to talk. The sooner this gets resolved the less doubts you will have and be able to make a decision.
i102bcute
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Re: FH made a horrible comment...
I am really sorry he said that to you. I wish I could say something to make you feel better.
SIBride06
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Re: FH made a horrible comment...
Im so sorry hun..You guys really need to sit down & talk things over. That comment was uncalled for & certainly unjustified. As if you guys aren't stressed enough, he makes a comment like that. That is downright disturbing. You guys need to settle this situation NOW & fast.
ssdbk
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Re: FH made a horrible comment...
Posted by curliegirl
Posted by ssdbk
I understand this is a tough situation and he said something very mean.
Think about why are you keeping score as to how much your side of the family is contributing vs. him and his side. If there weren't any problems with the 2 of you, you probably would not even worry about that at all!!!
I don't agree.....her parents are paying for the whole thing!
I know exactly who is contributing to everything with my wedding, it doesn't mean there are any problems.....
There is a difference between knowing how much everyone is putting in and feeling like your FH is getting something he doesn't deserve! I also know how much everyone is putting in!
beautyq115
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Re: FH made a horrible comment...
Posted by bridetobe1105
Last night FH and I were talking on the phone... Things have been tough financially due to the fact that we are getting married next month, are in the process of buying a home and we both hate our jobs (me especially) and are considering quitting.
2 years ago right before we got engaged, we had broken up and I considered things officially over (we had dated off and on for 6 years). I was devastated but began moving on after a while. Anyway, we would up getting back together after about 2 months of being apart and he proposed. I chalked the whole thing up to his being really nervous at the time about getting engaged.
Now, last night, he says to me that if he could go back in time to 2 years ago, he never would've gotten back together with me. Now, I am buying a house with this man (where I am providing ~75% of the down payment), and we are having a wedding next month where my parents are footing the entire $40K bill.
I don't know what to make of that comment... I always knew he wasn't crazy about the idea of having a wedding & marriage altogether, but to say what he said - I feel like I should seriously consider calling the whole thing off.
You guys really need to talk about things! You need to find out where that comment came from.
Lissy3077
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Re: FH made a horrible comment...
I think you both have to seriously sit down and talk about this serious matter. I'm so sorry to hear that, right before the wedding too. But its good to settle this now before its too late.....
SPITSBRIDE
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Re: FH made a horrible comment...
You need to have a talk with him before you walk down that aisle...I wouldn't wait until after the wedding.
Good luck honey and know that we are here for you
tiffandmatt
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Re: FH made a horrible comment...
Wow!! That was a seriously terriable thing to say to ones future wife! In my opinion that is not wedding day jitters. . . that seems like total cold feet.
I understand that sometimes during arguments things can be said which one totally regret afterwards, but something like that seems to be coming from a much more deep rooted feeling. We have probably all said things which didn't come out right, but I could never imagine going that far. You NEED to have serious discussion with him. Better you find out now, rather than after your married. Make sure you know what you are getting yourself into before you get married.
Good luck and I hope that everything works out for you. We are all here to support you.
