FH's Brother decides NOT to be in the party

Yup, you read right... Tonight was our tasting and FH invited both of his brothers to join us. One is his BM the other is just a GM... Well, his oldest brother the GM, turns around to him (30 days before the wedding), and tells Brian that he must have been stoned or something when Bri asked him to be in our bridal party, and cut and dry- He DECLINES the offer!!!!!!!!!!!!

FH sees nothing wrong with this!!!! Um....HELLO!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! He tells me *oh, well, i can always ask one of my other buddies to be in the party instead, and of not we'll figure it out. Besides -older brother- really cant afford it anyway... You know the tux and everything.. Hes not even smoking pot anymore.*

Well maybe if he wasnt smoking pot he'd be a good brother and be in your f-ing wedding!!!!!!!!!!! For christs sake- WE'll but the freaking tux!!!! Oh and then, after I mae that suggestion Brian tells me that he doesnt want to be bothered by the photographers adn the videographers!!!!!!!!!! Doent he realize HIS BROTHER is getting married?!?!?!?!?!?! There is gonna be family pictures taken and no matter what his face is gonna be in it?!?!?!?!

You know- I dont understand it.. My oldest sister died whenI was 13, adn I would give anything in my power for her to be at my wedding.. He declines the offer. I am soo Pi$$ed!!! Is it just me????????????? (Thanks for letting me vent- Sorry so long)

Re: FH's Brother decides NOT to be in the party

I am sorry that this is happening, and I would be mad and hurt too. When my FSIL got married, her husbands sister, decided to dro out (long story), but in the end worked her way back in, and wore the dress, but would not sit with BP, or go to rehearhsal, or shower, etc.

If he does not want to be there, then don't push it, that is a decision he will have to live with and can never undo, or relive the day again.

Re: FH's Brother decides NOT to be in the party

I hear you...my situation is a little different...my SIL declined to be in our wedding party because she hates my other brother and his wife. What gets me though is that she has to think about whether or not my niece and nephew can be in our wedding party. People su*k....and a lot of times its family that su*ks

Re: FH's Brother decides NOT to be in the party

Re: FH's Brother decides NOT to be in the party

FSIL dropped out of ours, I also jut don't get it, they are your siblings, some people are wacked!!!

Re: FH's Brother decides NOT to be in the party

This is too freaky- we need to meet!!!!

My sister died 3 days after her 14th b-day when I was 21. Too many coinsences. (sp). I say let him go, experience has been if someone doesn't want to be in your party, they'll make you miserable. They'll be plenty of time to pull the sister card. I'll be you party and stand up for you (i just really want to taste the food again).

Re: FH's Brother decides NOT to be in the party

If your FH is okay with this, then you need to be too. You are making this more about what you wish for your own family (understandly so) but it is obvious that your FH knows his brother and accepts his behavior, even when it is tacky.
I am so sorry that you lost your dear sister- I cannot even imagine But your wedding day should be joyful and forcing someone to be in a BP that doesn't want to be will just add stress.

Re: FH's Brother decides NOT to be in the party

I know it is hard to say when you are so close to your date, but let him go sit in a corner. Some people can't handle the stress of weddings. He'll be the one to regret it in the end.

Personally, I am against asking family members just because they are family. I think when you ask who you want, you get better more supportive people in your bridal party.

Good luck with relaxing.

Re: FH's Brother decides NOT to be in the party

Guys are different about these things. My FI is one of five, Two older sisters and two older brothers. FI is from Ireland and all his family still lives there. His two sisters and their families are coming over with his mother to our wedding. We have no idea if his brothers are coming. One brother is 50/50 - he never made it to othe siblings weddings. The other is taking his family on vacation in France about 3 weeks before the wedding and doesnt know if he can make it.

Hello, don't go on vacation in France and instead come to your little brothers wedding.

I went all the way to Ireland last summer to meet his family and this guy lives less than twenty miles from his mother's house and I never met him. Your brother brings his American girlfriend home to meet the family - the relationship is pretty serious.

I made a joke with FI about meeting his brother when our kids were all grown up. And he respnonded that his bother is the type of guy who would meet me and find out I was his brothers wife and just nod his head to me and walk out the door.

Guys are weird!! I think it is sad...

Re: FH's Brother decides NOT to be in the party

guys are definately weird sometimes, i agree

Re: FH's Brother decides NOT to be in the party

I think you may be better off without the stress....

would he object to walking his mother down the aisle as her usher...no tux...that might be a happy medium...

ETS: don't ask another person to be GM 30 days before...it makes it seem that they are last minute...just double up the BMs