FH Vent

prncssrachel Posted: Mar 25, 2003 05:31 PM

FH Vent

Ok, he is wonderful, and I love him more than anything, but I really feel like he is a little boy sometimes. I feel like he looks to me to tell him what to do when he has decisions to make and to help clean up the messes that he makes when it comes to things like paying bills on time. While I don't mind giving advice and lending an ear, he depends on me way too much for some things, and I want him to be more independent. He lived on his own in another state, away from everyone he knew for 2 years, so I know he is capable, but I feel like he has 'forgotten' how to take care of himself. I want to be his future wife, not his mommy-substitute. We recently purchased our wedding rings, and when they were sizing his finger, he looked to me and asked, 'How's this one?' I was just in total astonishment, can he really not even tell if a stupid ring doesn't fit? I'm sorry, I'm just so aggravated. I have spoken to him about it before, but I don't think he realizes when he's being this way. He is only 23, and has a lot to learn, I understand, but I am only 24, and I feel like he should know these things by now.

Also, I think it has a lot to do with the fact that he has a VERY CONTROLLING mother. Extremely, to the point that she tries to tell ME what to do, and now that we live together, I think he has a hard time not having someone, ie, his mother, up his you know what to do things. I just don't want that role.

Sunny Posted: Mar 25, 2003 05:36 PM

Re: FH Vent

He will get better as he gets older- I know it sounds stupid, but it is true.
I actually have the opposite problem- fh tells me things and sometimes I have to ask him if he thinks I'm an idiot.

Helene718 Posted: Mar 25, 2003 06:08 PM

Re: FH Vent

He'll grow up. He has no choice. If you are refusing to fill his mother's role (and I don't blame you for that at all!) then he will have no choice but to start figuring things out for himself.

julykbride Posted: Mar 25, 2003 06:23 PM

Re: FH Vent

I feel like my FI's mother almost all of the time also. He's very forgetful and also doesn't take the initiative on a lot of things that need to get done. When I tell him to do something and then ask later if he did it, he then says 'I forgot, why didn't you remind me?' So not only do I have to remember everything that I need to do and everything going on in my life, but I have to tell my FI what to do and then REMIND him to do it? He doesn't like it when I tell him what needs to be done to begin with.

wacky Posted: Mar 25, 2003 07:09 PM

Re: FH Vent

On of my married friends said to me, that I shouldnt get annoyed at things as you mentioned. She said that men cant multi task and arent as smart as women.

It was good advice for me

Dont sweat it,

prncssrachel Posted: Mar 25, 2003 07:27 PM

Re: FH Vent

Thank you so much girls. I am just sooooo glad to hear that I am not the only one with a clueless, helpless FH. My mother also says there is hope for him, so we'll see. I figure, if it gets bad enough, I could always stop cooking, cleaning, paying bills and heck, showering, to the point where he can't stand it anymore and has to do something about it. Oh well. Stupid boys.