ALONE!!!! My FH really hasn't helped with ANY of the planning and its really starting to piss me off. He helped pick out the band and that's it. Meanwhile all my free time and vacation time is spent going to NY, meeting with vendors, etc. Its like a second job. The final straw came last night. I finally found a free Saturday and a church out here for Pre-cana. We were all set after much research for March 5. Last night I reminded him AGAIN about the date and he was like, oh, I am out of town that weekend visiting my sister before my business trip. I thought that was the following weekend! Sorry... I am sick and tired of being responsible for this whole affair. The least he could do was remember the date for pre-cana and plan his trip around it.
He was away at a conference last night and I was so angry after he told me this that I started screaming that I am sick of all the wedding crap and no help from him. I know I sounded like a b***h but I really don't care. I finally just said good night and hung up. I still haven't spoken to him.
I know I am overreacting but his attitude was like, so what, we will reschedule. NO, I will have to reschedule since I can't even trust him to do that! I am just sooo annoyed but his attitude about all this.
Sorry so long but I needed to get this out....
UPDATE-Edited to say that Fh is a lucky man- I was able to find a church about 1/2 hour away for the following weekend and we got the LAST spot. He is sooo lucky....
Nautical bride
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Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding
Hang in there Christine! Eogara has good advice to follow. Hopefully your FH will come around and realize what a full plate you have and try to pitch in more.
And on your wedding day, I am betting you will think it was all worth it! It is going to be a spectacular day!
slwh2005
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Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding
I totally know how you feel. It's frustrating for me too. Both my sister & mother live OOT, so I feel like i'm doing most of it on my own too. He has been good about coming to the vendors, but I think he's at his breaking point. I still have to make all of the phone calls & do all the research (although I don't mind the 'research' I do on LIW!) Oh! I just had an idea - when he gives me a hard time for being on LIW all the time & not paying attention to him, I'll just tell him that he's welcome to take over the planning (now that's a scary thought!) Sorry if I hijacked your post. Good luck!! I hope it gets better for you.
Laura1976
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Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding
iI know how you feel, my FH has been very very uninvolved in all of this. I wish I had advice for you but all I can say is hang in there!!! If it makes you feel bad I haven't done Pre Cana either, I've had to cancel it twice already because of FH's schedule.
allaboutthecake
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Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding
FH is so annoying...whenever I complain to him about the planning...and him not caring, he tells me to give him a list of what still has to be done and he'll have it all completed in one day . I get so pissed when he says that...I can only imagine what horrid things he would pick .
ckgmwedding
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Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding
You guys are the greatest support EVER!!!! Thanks for making realize that I am not alone in this problem. Your advice was really helpful
mcaula
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Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding
OMG I feel the same way and it is like they don't even care. My FH told me to stop talking about the wedding 'You talk about the wedding too much' I was like you do absolutely nothing and you want to stop talking about it all I can do is talk about it because I am doing EVERYTHING UGGGGHHH
buckles
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Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding
Trust me you are so not alone in this. I went through a similar thing with my FH about 1 month ago. I say simlar only because mine was more of a complete and utter meltdown!
I was so sick of doing everything then he would just tear appart everything I did...And I always told him EVERYTHING I was doing and cost. I like to use the old addage 'Throwing Rocks at Glass Houses'. Everything was just horrible. It got to the point where I just brokedown and we talked and screamed and I cried for over 3 hours. I really lost hope at one point in our future in that if I always have to remind him to do things and when he says he will but never does, how is he going to be with larger priorities like a house and kids! He is a lot better now. He doesn't help wedding wise but it seems like he is keeping his mouth shut a lot more and even a bit more understanding.
ckgmwedding
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Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding
Posted by slwh2005
I totally know how you feel. It's frustrating for me too. Both my sister & mother live OOT, so I feel like i'm doing most of it on my own too. He has been good about coming to the vendors, but I think he's at his breaking point. I still have to make all of the phone calls & do all the research (although I don't mind the 'research' I do on LIW!) Oh! I just had an idea - when he gives me a hard time for being on LIW all the time & not paying attention to him, I'll just tell him that he's welcome to take over the planning (now that's a scary thought!) Sorry if I hijacked your post. Good luck!! I hope it gets better for you.
You definately didn't hijack! I am glad to see I am not alone in all this!
angelbear217
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Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding
I totally understand what you are saying. Although FH tries to take part, I think he half listens most of the time. He wants me to ask for his opinion and then I do, he makes some critique then it never gets done. Or I give him something to do and it never gets done, so I have to nang, nag, nag....
Don't worry, Christine, we are all in the same boat here!!! Hang in there!!!
jsb1ot
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Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding
Sorry to hear that. But it really ***** if you are the only one who's doing all the wedding planning. It's really stressful.
LadyPrincess
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Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding
Posted by Bunnymonkey
Christine! First:
Second, you are NOT overreacting!!! at all...
He has to know how frustrating his actions are for you! Clearly, he does not 'get' certain aspects of this (what groom does? until you lose it at them!)
you go ahead and yell and vent - I would be fuming.
HANG IN THERE!
i ditto - you are perfectly right here !!
stacy&joe
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Posted by bluesashbride
...it must be in the air...i am sick of too today...after calling about two dozen shuttle companies i want to scream!! I WANT MY LIFE BACK!!!
i feel your pain christine!
OMG - I am sitting here thinking the same thing. I WANT MY LIFE BACK TOO!!!!!! It is not FH, but everyone else that is driving me nuts!!!! Why is it that planning a wedding suddenly gives everyone you know the right to have an opinion about what you're planning??? And then, because you as the bride get the burden of all the stress of planning and planning and planning and your FH screws it up . . . . I'd be crying right now if I were you. Hang in there. Hopefully, it will sink in soon - my FH was like that a little after we picked the vendors - it was like 'there's other stuff?' Uh huh . . .
LadyPrincess
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Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding
hang in CK - when u come to NY in April we will go wo Wrap & see if we can find some stuff for you !!
ckgmwedding
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Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding
Posted by LadyPrincess
hang in CK - when u come to NY in April we will go wo Wrap & see if we can find some stuff for you !!
The best part is I finally get to meet you!!!
I do feel better- even though my FH talked to my sister( the one who found her dress at the wire!!!) and she told him that he was perfect for me since he was taking my ranting really well!!!! GRRRRRR..... I can't wait until Ms. Perfect gets married. This from a girl who took longer to find her dress than I did for mine!
LadyPrincess
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Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding
Posted by ckgmwedding
Posted by LadyPrincess
hang in CK - when u come to NY in April we will go wo Wrap & see if we can find some stuff for you !!
The best part is I finally get to meet you!!!
I do feel better- even though my FH talked to my sister( the one who found her dress at the wire!!!) and she told him that he was perfect for me since he was taking my ranting really well!!!! GRRRRRR..... I can't wait until Ms. Perfect gets married. This from a girl who took longer to find her dress than I did for mine!
payback is a ......
stacy&joe
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Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding
LadyPrincess, how are you so calm? Please words of wisdom for calming oneself - I am losing it, and you're closer than I am! (By the way - congrats on your very upcoming wedding!)
ckgmwedding
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Posted by stacy&joe
LadyPrincess, how are you so calm? Please words of wisdom for calming oneself - I am losing it, and you're closer than I am! (By the way - congrats on your very upcoming wedding!)
Chris- you really are the calmest person ever!!! I really need to hire Judith- I hope she is still available for my day!
LadyPrincess
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Re: FH vent- I am sick of planning this wedding
Posted by stacy&joe
LadyPrincess, how are you so calm? Please words of wisdom for calming oneself - I am losing it, and you're closer than I am! (By the way - congrats on your very upcoming wedding!)
TY SJ -
i have been planning for abt 18mths now -so i did something ALL the time for the wedding. & my wonderful 05ers have been there everystep - that helped cause i talked FH to DEATH So now as i look at the pack boxes -i just see all the hard work coming to futition.
My fuse is a bit shorter these last few days - but came to the conclusion, dont sweat the small stuff - everything is in place - now is time to ENJOY our Wedding day !! 'cause u dont et 're-do's for yr wedding day and u dont want to miss it !!
And yes, you are ready!! I am glad to have that time to look forward to. Right in the middle of all the last minute decisions - it's like you shut down. I am looking forward to being where you are so soon!
PS - You are DEFINITELY ready. My mom and I started to put stickies on stuff and make piles, too. Great minds think alike . . .
