I will try to keep this short...but thanks to all of you that make it through reading my vent....
We are not close with FH family. Very long story short...last week we were invited to Massachusetts (where his aunt and grandparents live) to spend the this coming Sunday with his family (his mom, and a few other aunts and uncles will be there). FH said he didnt want to go so we made plans to see friends for dinner and a movie on Sunday. His grandfather called him yesterday and said he really wanted us there. So FH now wants to go, the prob is the plans we have can only be switched to Sat night (the night before) and we have plans to be at FH's friends for a bbq. I suggested we go to the bbq from 3-6 or 7 and then go to dinner and a movie with my friends. FH said no way will he cut his day with his friends short to go see my friends (mind you this girl is a very good friend - she is in the BP). Bc of his reaction i am hesitant to try to reschedule with my friends...i feel he should be willing to sacrifice a few hours with his friends if seeing his family is that important to him. do i let him get his way and go to this bbq all day sat, go to his family all day sunday and then try to reschedule with my friends for june or is this something we should both make compromises for and do it all on Sat???
I really want to hold my ground on this but i know part of it is the extreme hatred i have towards his family so I am asking you all as outsiders for help....
Tomsbride
Posted:
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Re: fh's family
I think you should avoid a fight and not turn something small into a bigger issue. FH and I always split up if we both have events we want to go to. Plus, unless you don't see your friend all the time (same for him) I don't see an issue with missing one of the events.
HTH!
justnicethings
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Re: fh's family
this sounds really annoying, especially since you're just accomodating him all weekend, but you don't want to make mountains out of molehills. still, if he behaves like this all the time, it might be worth a deep discussion. i don't see why you can't do both. try to hold your ground, but don't let it escalate into an argument.
Moonmist09
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Re: fh's family
has he done this before? is he hasn't let it go, tell him to go to his BBQ and you go our with you friend and you both can meet up together to be with his family on SUnday
HSsweethearts
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Re: fh's family
It's annoying., but I say pick your battles. i'm sure you can see your friend another time.
Ellynrose
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Re: fh's family
I agree. If this is something he does often, I'd say you need to speak about this. If this is a one time, or a few times, situation, maybe just let it go. Is going your own way on Sat an option? If it is, maybe that is your best bet.
On another note, I'm really sorry you dislike your FH's family so much - that's a really rough situation and I can understand why that would make you a tad annoyed.
VCanizalez
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Re: fh's family
Posted by Ellynrose
I agree. If this is something he does often, I'd say you need to speak about this. If this is a one time, or a few times, situation, maybe just let it go. Is going your own way on Sat an option? If it is, maybe that is your best bet.
On another note, I'm really sorry you dislike your FH's family so much - that's a really rough situation and I can understand why that would make you a tad annoyed.
ITA
Sorry for the Fhs family.. im on da same boat
rosatemp
Posted:
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Re: fh's family
Posted by Ellynrose
I agree. If this is something he does often, I'd say you need to speak about this. If this is a one time, or a few times, situation, maybe just let it go. Is going your own way on Sat an option? If it is, maybe that is your best bet.
On another note, I'm really sorry you dislike your FH's family so much - that's a really rough situation and I can understand why that would make you a tad annoyed.
i also agree
jovigirl414
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Re: fh's family
'FH said no way will he cut his day with his friends short to go see my friends' .....
Pardon me, but I say F**K that noise! You are going to MA with him to see his family, and he can't sacrifice 3 hours for you??
I'm sorry, I feel relationships should be equal at all times, not just when convenient. I go through this all the time with FH and I stand my ground whenever possible. There is no reason his friends and family should be any more important than yours!
pjc92980
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Re: fh's family
Posted by jovigirl414
'FH said no way will he cut his day with his friends short to go see my friends' .....
Pardon me, but I say F**K that noise! You are going to MA with him to see his family, and he can't sacrifice 3 hours for you??
I'm sorry, I feel relationships should be equal at all times, not just when convenient. I go through this all the time with FH and I stand my ground whenever possible. There is no reason his friends and family should be any more important than yours!
this is a response i wanted to read
I actually cannot separate from him bc the plans we had with my friend and her husband is a birthday dinner for FH and my friends husband (Fhs birthday was yesterday and my friends husbands birthday was the day before) - so we both need to be there.
thankfully he does not do this often - we never have problems with plans normally
legalchef
Posted:
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Re: fh's family
this doesn't even sound like a problem with his family so much as a problem in coordinating plans!
but yes, you should both compromise like you suggested - see his friends for a bit and then yours.
