FI Vent

I'm so sick of all this wedding plans - especially because FI will not help!!! With anything!! We have one month before we need to send out our wedding invites and a friend of mine was nice enough to do the calligraphy on them. She is pregnant, which is why I want to give her the full month (she is a month pregnant and has a 8 month daughter). She gets tired alot and has to run after her daughter. I just dont want to e-mail her with 50 names when he finally makes up his mind two days before they need to go out. So I need all the addresses, and at this point I will take atleast the names of the people he would like to invite.

I've been ask him since January to give me a paliminary list, finally in April I told him I needed his list. He gave me some names and told me he may add a few more. Thats fine - I ask him today to take a look at the list. And all I get is attitude - 'I'm not going to be able to give you names until two weeks before!' By the way he is leaving for a 2 week vacation to Ireland next week. Two weeks after he returns the invites need to be out.

It is not even a problem of him asking his mother...he needs to give me names of his friends. I dont even have the addresses of his two brothers...

I could go on and on and on. I'm so angry that I want to call the whole things off. He has bearly done one thing for this wedding...we still dont have limos, tuxes or wedding rings because he needs to go play golf every weekend. I refuse to do anything else for this wedding by myself. I;m not the only one getting married!!!!!!!

Know we are not talking and I think he went off to the bar (hello it is Tuesday). By the way we live together. Tired of everything being a fight to get him to do something for this wedding. The only things he has done is look at one out of the 10 reception sites that I saw, met the photographer sales guy, looked at 4 DJ with me, and picked out the wedding wording with me - every time was complaining.

I didnt drag him to the florist or to register, I did so much by myself.....

All I wanted to do tonight was throw my ring at him....

Just tired of the whole thing.......

I'm so sorry. I wish I had great words that would make you feel better, but I don't. All I can say is this: He has a pe-nis, they usually act that way when they have one.

I hear ya and feel your pain!! It was my fiances idea to get engaged..not mine..and now that we are engaged..hes kind of missing in action. He is paying for the majority of it..but youd think hed want to know what his wedding will be like. He did help pick out the place and photographer, I am dragging him to the florists..but he has no idea what really to expect at his own wedding. I get so frustrtaed..he works 6 days a week..so I cant even
truly get mad at him..but when I asked for his guest list with addresses..he actually gave me NICKNAMES of these people..half of them are in Trinidad..so I cant tell if its a nickname or a real name because they arent common names..then I ask his mom and she says we cant invite certain people! AHHHHHH
When I aks him why he doenst get more involved..he says he trusts me. I took a sample invitation of the ugliest one I could find..to show it to him..just to see what hed say..I told him it was OUR invite and he said it was NICE!!! some days I want to kill him..but then I think about it and im probably better off if he doesnt help TOO much.things could get real bad if he did!

Men can ****.. Girl - I think we all have probably been there.. We havent gotten into BIG plans yet - just hall but it happens.. Men get stressed they go into a **** cave, women get stressed and we vent - Thats the right way of doing things.. why dont you read men are from mars and women are from venus - b/c its soooo true.. Men are a different weird breed...but we love them..

I know how you feel. My FI helped with some stuff in the beginning but you would not even know he was getting married- he has no stress whatsoever with the wedding! He always says oh I trust you! Hang in there! It will be better and it's the stress getting to you!!!! Maybe give him something that he likes to do. I had my FI plan the entire honeymoon because I am so bad with that stuff!

regina..i wish i could help! i think that is right thouhg...men stress and clam up. i think you should make a list of whats to be done and show it to him or leave it for him...and have him check off what he thinks he can help you with. and then the rest, if its ok with you, find a great friend who will enjoy doing it with you!! lots of luck honey!

hugs to you
Perhaps you can give your friend your list, and the list of his family(ask his mother for it)... if he is going to not give you a list then fine, order enough invites and let his friends have hand written invites instead of calligraphy..
with the tuxes why dont youtell your fiance to gather the BP go get measured for them, and then they can all go out to the bar after(maybe as a motivation to do it?)

Thanks for all your support - we had a big fight last night and havent spoken since. Not sure what I'm going to do tonight. Almost thinking of giving the ring back that is how tired and angry I am about this whole thing.

wow..hopefully you guys can sit down and talk about this! I know how frustrtaing it can be..I like what the other girls suggested about giving him something to do..then you wont feel so overwhelmed....hang in there..and GOOD luck talking to him about this! You love each other enough to get engaged...you can hopefully work it out!!!

Is it worth ending an engagement over? Some guys just are useless when planning a wedding. My mom said my dad was the same way. and they have been married almost 40 years! I dont know if its that he never helps with anything or just with wedding planning. I hope that you are ok!

I am sorry to hear this. My Fh actually had the nerve to ask me, after not being involved in any planning and my consulting him on every decision, why I was making so many decisons without him. I told him to sit down and we could go over all of the plans for the wedding and he said not right now. Maybe later. Yeah Maybe July 25, 2004, the day after our wedding. ARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!! You are not alone. They are male after all.

I'm so sorry!!

Don't do anything hasty....Wedding planning is extremely stressful and guys just don't have the same emotions about it as girls do.....
I can't get my FH to help me to save my life, but he is so good about so many other things....
I have just accepted that this is who he is and he has left all the decisions up to me....

SOmetimes I get mad about it - but sometimes I feel lucky b/c when he does put in his $.02, it is ALWAYS opposite of what I want...LOL!!!

Do not end an engagement over this...you should take 2 days off of wedding planning and try to focus on the things that made you fall in love with him in the first place.....

Good Luck!!!!