Brides Helping Brides ™ - Firing A GM?

flairforfashion Posted: Jul 14, 2008 02:43 PM

Firing A GM?

This is going to be a little long. Anyway, FH and I have (or HAD) a really good friend named Mike. We always did things together and he saw us at LEAST once a week. He went away for three months overseas and came back and since then, things have not been the same. Mind you, FH has always been there for him through thick and thin. Always lending him a hand when he needed things done to his car- and this was MAJOR work that FH did for FREE. He saved Mike THOUSANDS of dollars. And, Mike was appreciative but kind of fell off the face of the Earth. He started hanging out with different people and not our crowd anymore. Nothing happened, no fight happened- this just happened out of nowhere. So whatever. We think he's busy- he's single so maybe he is trying to meet a girl and go out with other single friends. Which we understand. First strike- he was 2 hours late to our E Party. He is FH's Best Man. (He has two BM but Mike is one of them) We know he was late because he had to go to Brooklyn to run his father's business and come all the way back to LI to get changed and come to the E Party. So, we let it slide. Strike 2- He stopped calling to hang out. Now at this point FH is really pissed. He kept saying to me I don't know what his problem is and that I need to talk to him.... Stike 3 happened yesterday. FH's birthday is on Thursday but FMIL had a BBQ and invited family, some friends, and my parents over to FH's house for the birthday BBQ. We invited Mike last week. He promised he would come. Then yesterday we get a phone call at 3PM- when the BBQ started. He said he was going to be late because he had to pick his dad up at the airport. FH was like fine whatever. Finally 7PM rolls around and FH calls him up at says where the hell are you? People are leaving. Mike goes I am on my way. FH said sternly don't bother coming and hung up on him.

So now FH wants to throw him out of the party. What do you think? I say wait it out and see what happens. Maybe Mike has stuff going on that we don't know about. But FH says he doesn't care. Should he toss him out of the party? What would you do?

BarbieGrl10 Posted: Jul 14, 2008 02:49 PM

Re: Firing A GM?

I would sit down and have a convo with Mike and let him know how you both feel..... be very honest.
Its your day! What if he pulls this crap the day of!!!!???
Sorry I dont mean to make you feel worse but this is exactly what I would do.

Sorry you guys have to deal with this!

tinadansr Posted: Jul 14, 2008 03:07 PM

Re: Firing A GM?

that's rough I would talk have a sit down and talk with him.

flairforfashion Posted: Jul 14, 2008 03:19 PM

Re: Firing A GM?

Yea, I think a sit down will happen soon. Thanks guys!

littlepixie12 Posted: Jul 14, 2008 03:23 PM

Re: Firing A GM?

OK ... Us LIW girls must have some kind of connection because we are going through the same exact thing!!! So my FH's best man (he also has 2) moved into the apt downstairs from my FH at the beginning of this year. He basically pulled a wire through my FH apt so that he can get his cable and internet - so mind you he doesn't pay, my FH does. This bothered me but I was like whatever, sometimes you have to choose your battles. Anyway, I think he thought that they would be hanging out more often than they are but my FH and I always hang out together. At first I would invite him everywhere and we were cool, but after we got engaged it was like a switch went off, he picked a little fight with me and now completely ignores me! Like we pas his place (its a two family house) so he knows when we come and go and he goes out of his way to ignore us. My FH is really hurt and wants to throw him out too. I told him to wait it out because he is the last of the friends that are single and I dont think he is taking it well at all... Plus he doesn't do anything for himself to find a girl ... Like he will stay home all the time and watch TV. So that doesn't help. I told my FH that if this behavior continues that he should talk to him about being at the wedding but not in the party .. Because he is essentially not respecting our relationship ... We'll see what happens...

evewedsjc Posted: Jul 14, 2008 03:30 PM

Re: Firing A GM?

I know it!!! we are all going through the same thing...I had to fire MOH today!!!

Hang in there...if your FH feels strongly about it...just support him.

Jsquared279 Posted: Jul 14, 2008 03:36 PM

Re: Firing A GM?

I totally understand why FH is really upset. I know my FH would be also if this was going on with his bestman and I think it is a Man's first reaction to say ok fine you are out of the wedding party. But I completely agree with you that he and Mike should have a conversation or even all 3 of you and try to understand what is going with Mike. What if something is going on that you guys don't know about. I would express your concerns to him and then see what happens. I would not immediately through him out of the wedding party, I would try to get to the bottom of his behavior, first. HTH!

littlepixie12 Posted: Jul 14, 2008 03:38 PM

Re: Firing A GM?

OMg... what did you say to her?

flairforfashion Posted: Jul 14, 2008 03:39 PM

Re: Firing A GM?

Posted by littlepixie12

OK ... Us LIW girls must have some kind of connection because we are going through the same exact thing!!! So my FH's best man (he also has 2) moved into the apt downstairs from my FH at the beginning of this year. He basically pulled a wire through my FH apt so that he can get his cable and internet - so mind you he doesn't pay, my FH does. This bothered me but I was like whatever, sometimes you have to choose your battles. Anyway, I think he thought that they would be hanging out more often than they are but my FH and I always hang out together. At first I would invite him everywhere and we were cool, but after we got engaged it was like a switch went off, he picked a little fight with me and now completely ignores me! Like we pas his place (its a two family house) so he knows when we come and go and he goes out of his way to ignore us. My FH is really hurt and wants to throw him out too. I told him to wait it out because he is the last of the friends that are single and I dont think he is taking it well at all... Plus he doesn't do anything for himself to find a girl ... Like he will stay home all the time and watch TV. So that doesn't help. I told my FH that if this behavior continues that he should talk to him about being at the wedding but not in the party .. Because he is essentially not respecting our relationship ... We'll see what happens...

Sorry you are going through this as well! It's just really tough for me as well- I wish I can just call up Mike and be like What the F is your problem but I won't because FH needs to deal with this.

It must be something in the air. I have a friend who is getting married in a couple of weeks and she fired a bridemaid.

flairforfashion Posted: Jul 14, 2008 03:40 PM

Re: Firing A GM?

Posted by Jsquared279

I totally understand why FH is really upset. I know my FH would be also if this was going on with his bestman and I think it is a Man's first reaction to say ok fine you are out of the wedding party. But I completely agree with you that he and Mike should have a conversation or even all 3 of you and try to understand what is going with Mike. What if something is going on that you guys don't know about. I would express your concerns to him and then see what happens. I would not immediately through him out of the wedding party, I would try to get to the bottom of his behavior, first. HTH!

Agreed. We need to find out what the hell is going on with him. I am worried about him.

baba022 Posted: Jul 14, 2008 03:42 PM

Re: Firing A GM?

Posted by flairforfashion

Yea, I think a sit down will happen soon. Thanks guys!

Good idea....we are going to end up having to do this with fh's bm as well....hes just unreliable and it is making me nervous....you dont need any of this nonsense the day of ....

mls282 Posted: Jul 14, 2008 03:47 PM

Re: Firing A GM?

There may be more to the story... something going on with family, health problems.... something thta he has not opened up about. FH should sit down with him and have a talk. Explain why he picked him as a GM and how important his friendship is. Bring up how he has been acting lately and discuss the role of GM. If he gets a feeling the friend has other stuff going on or can't handle the role then he needs to say I really want you to be there on this special day but with everything you have going on it might be better if you came as a guest rather than took on the responsibility of a GM.

Good luck!!!

Future Mrs Roo Posted: Jul 14, 2008 04:40 PM

Re: Firing A GM?

I would kick him out yet. I would tell your FH to sit down and have a talk with Mike to see exactly whats going on.

KARA16 Posted: Jul 14, 2008 05:36 PM

Re: Firing A GM?

Posted by BarbieGrl10

I would sit down and have a convo with Mike and let him know how you both feel..... be very honest.
Its your day! What if he pulls this crap the day of!!!!???
Sorry I dont mean to make you feel worse but this is exactly what I would do.

Sorry you guys have to deal with this!

I AGREE.

MrsDtoBe09 Posted: Jul 14, 2008 05:42 PM

Re: Firing A GM?

Personally, I dont think sitting down for a 'conversation' works with guys the way it does with girls. You're skeptical?...he's fired (but do your hair like Donald Trump and give him the fired wave when you do it!).

flairforfashion Posted: Jul 14, 2008 10:24 PM

Re: Firing A GM?

Posted by MrsDtoBe09

Personally, I dont think sitting down for a 'conversation' works with guys the way it does with girls. You're skeptical?...he's fired (but do your hair like Donald Trump and give him the fired wave when you do it!).

Hahahahaha.