firing the flowergirl?

LIprincess Posted: Mar 10, 2008 06:40 PM

firing the flowergirl?

So I orignially thought it would be cute to have my niece who will be 13 months at the wedding to be the flower girl (Despite everyone telling me its not a good idea).. well now she is always cranky and I do not want her anymore. Only problem, I told her parents I wanted her in it a few months back... So would it be mean to say 'As much as I would love to have her in the wedding, I dont think it will be a good idea since she is tempermental and I dont think having in the church will be a good idea?' TIA

Mici n KC Posted: Mar 10, 2008 06:42 PM

Re: firing the flowergirl?

Who are her parents, a relative of yours? Well if she will be 13 months then, she's only 7 months now. Will she be able to walk on her own? I know some kids are fine, but others aren't.

LIprincess Posted: Mar 10, 2008 06:46 PM

Re: firing the flowergirl?

Posted by Mici n KC

Who are her parents, a relative of yours? Well if she will be 13 months then, she's only 7 months now. Will she be able to walk on her own? I know some kids are fine, but others aren't.

she is my sist'er (Also my MOH) daughter. THe original plan was to have either the MOH of Best Man carry her down.. but I feel like this will cause me extra stress and worry that is not needed. No one wants a crying baby at their wedding

LIprincess Posted: Mar 10, 2008 06:47 PM

Re: firing the flowergirl?

sorry, i posted twice

JeanetteandSteve Posted: Mar 10, 2008 06:49 PM

Re: firing the flowergirl?

i'm gonna be honest here...if it were MY daughter and someone took back the flowergirl offer i think i'd be really hurt. i personally think you should keep her in. but that's just me.

angl2001 Posted: Mar 10, 2008 06:50 PM

Re: firing the flowergirl?

i was orginally gonna have my MOH daughter as a flowergirl but shes not really walking yet.....from day 1 we said we would play it by ear....maybe just mention to them you are worried she wont be 'ready by then'? see what they say

good luck

MKEA98 Posted: Mar 10, 2008 08:22 PM

Re: firing the flowergirl?

I do think it's a little harsh to tell a parent that you don't want the kid involved anymore because they're tempermental. Just because she's cranky now, there's no telling how she will be on the day of the wedding - she could be totally fine. I don't think you should be looking at how the baby will be as added stress. Most parents know that when a kid is crying at church that they need to take the kid outside and calm them down. If you're worried about people missing out on things before they can get the kid outside, like people can't hear your vows, I would say talk to the priest ahead of time, mention how if the kid starts crying you wanted to know if he could maybe pause and give the parents a second to take the kid outside. I guess just looking at this from my own point of view, my nieces are my flower girls, and I totally want them at the wedding - whether they're being brats or being cute. No matter what happens, I know I'll look back on the day and just be happy they were involved, and it'll make great memories.

chrissybean77 Posted: Mar 10, 2008 09:03 PM

Re: firing the flowergirl?

My niece is going to be 16 months by the time of my wedding and I wasn't going to have her as the FG b/c I thought she would be too young. My brother has mentioned it to me a few times. So far we have just said that we would play it be ear. I agree with the idea of saying that you are worried about her being ok with going down the aisle. As far a dress goes at that age you can always find something adorable even the week before. I wouldn't take it back by saying she is tempermental. I know my brother and SIL who are both in our BP would be hurt if we asked and then took it back.

Annoulak Posted: Mar 10, 2008 09:12 PM

Re: firing the flowergirl?

I don't think it makes sense to 'fire' her on the grounds of her crankiness...just because she's cranky now doesn't mean that she'll be cranky by the time of your wedding.

Also, I agree with the others that you really shouldn't 'fire' her after you asked her to be in the wedding.

failurebydsign Posted: Mar 10, 2008 09:15 PM

Re: firing the flowergirl?

my FGs (my neices) were 3 and 2 and were cranky the whole time and it just made me laugh its fine

i do think its rude to not have her in it cause shes going to be cranky..its not going to ruin your day...i promise

JMO

anamaree77 Posted: Mar 10, 2008 09:18 PM

Re: firing the flowergirl?

I think under the circumstances, they would understanding. You're still talking about a baby who will need lots of attention that day. I don't think it's fair to any of you to be quite honest with you. It will be a distraction on your big day, her parents won't be able to soothe her properly and the baby won't be getting the attention she needs.

Just my opinion, don't shoot me!!

jennandrolo Posted: Mar 10, 2008 09:33 PM

Re: firing the flowergirl?

I think since your wedding is 8 months away you should give her some time. She can change alot in that amount of time.

GinaBambina08 Posted: Mar 10, 2008 09:47 PM

Re: firing the flowergirl?

Ehhh...that's pretty shaky...especially since that's your MOH's daughter I don't know how you could get out of this one, sorry!

Michi9506 Posted: Mar 10, 2008 09:56 PM

Re: firing the flowergirl?

My son was almost exactly 13 months at our wedding and did very well. Just had a hard time at first at the reception

blaine08 Posted: Mar 10, 2008 09:58 PM

Re: firing the flowergirl?

maybe u can have 2 FG with an older one walking and ur niece having the title but not walking (if shes cranky that day).

Mici n KC Posted: Mar 10, 2008 10:00 PM

Re: firing the flowergirl?

She can definitely change from now to then, I mean she's only 5 months now! Talk to your sister too. I would not bring up the part about her being cranky, I mean she's probably teething! See what your sister wants. Maybe she'll be relieved she won't have to worry about her daughter because someone else will be watching her like her IL's.

madseason Posted: Mar 10, 2008 11:31 PM

Re: firing the flowergirl?

Do you have a RB? Maybe they can walk down together? I have 2 RBs and my FG will be 3 and she is going to walk inbetween. And there will be a backup plan, but I am going to make it fun for her during rehersal so she gets to liking doing it.

bluegreen08 Posted: Mar 11, 2008 01:04 AM

Re: firing the flowergirl?

i was 2 years old when my aunt got married and i wasn't even invited (it was an evening wedding) let alone made flower girl (and i was a very quiet baby)

i would def understand you not asking her, but it gets really hard to 'fire' her from your bridal party, even if shes too young to even realize. can she have a pacifier or will she be too old for one?