FMIL acting up!! lol

Ok....so 95% of the time I get along great with FMIL, she's actually an extremely sweet woman but sometimes she says things and just doesn't realize they can be a little offensive.

Here's the situation (sorry so long!!!):

her Christmas gift to me was a Lenox 'first dance' cake topper.....it's actually really beautiful and I didn't even say anything when I opened it that I had already bought my own cake topper (a Kim Anderson wedding one- I bought it a few years ago before I was even engaged, just b/c I love Kim Anderson).....I just smiled and said thank you, thinking she didn't know I already had one. Fast forward to when we're leaving and saying goodbye and she said 'oh I hope you like the cake topper, I think it's so much more elegant than that black & white one you already have'!!!!!! Apparently she actually checked w/ FH if I had one, which he knew I did, but she didn't like it so felt the need to get me a different one!!!!

Part of me wants to say something like, can you please let me pick my own things for my wedding, but part of me doesn't want to say anything and just not even use it, regardless of whether I like it more or not......just out of spite!!! lol I might have even considered using it, but the comment that the Lenox one is more elegant was really unnecessary, I feel like she questions my taste all the time!! And here's another thing, I showed her a picture of the Pfaltzgraf china I registered for, and she actually said, 'don't worry, your taste will change'......I guess that was her way of saying she didn't like it??? After 6 years of dating, I was hoping I could share these things with her, but once you get engaged I feel like its a whole new ballgame and you get all kinds of unnecessary negative feedback.

K, I feel much better now......just had to vent!!!

Thats tough...but Im curious too. Which one are you going to use?
You should use yours and put hers on your place card table

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Posted by kismet8601

Thats tough...but Im curious too. Which one are you going to use?
You should use yours and put hers on your place card table

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that's a great idea! to use one for the placecard table......this is going to be tough to decide which to use for which.....I've always thought I'd use the Kim Anderson one for the cake, b/c I've had it for so long......but then again the Lenox one is bigger.

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Posted by Espo22

awww sorry you have to deal with that. But you know what let her act however she wants. It will just push you away from her and she will end up regretting it later. Don't let her negativity get you down.

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you're right.....she asked to go dress shopping w/ me too, and now I'm thinking she's going to have me second guessing everything I like.....so no way is she coming. I'll just show her a pic once its ordered, otherwise I'll be asking for trouble!! lol

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Posted by bettybcafe

lol...so which one are you gonig to go with? And I know how you feel..my mom and inlaws drive me nuts with the wedding..its like 'hello its MY wedding!'..

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when I say things like this (it's MY or OUR wedding) he tells me that I'm being a bridezilla and his mom is just trying to be nice. when will these boys ever learn?? lol You only get 1 wedding (usually), and damn skippy we (really me lol) will be making our own decisions (with the help of my LIW girls of course!!

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Posted by kismet8601

yes the Lenox one is beautiful but in all honesty I like the one you bought better. Its cute and very unique.

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thanks!!! I think I needed some reassurance after she bought me the Lenox one!

you know what I was just thinking......I want to have a small table with a picture of my dad and maybe our grandparents since they've all passed away.....maybe I could display the Lenox figurine on that table? I think it might be nice too since I won't be dancing w/ my dad, even though it's a bride/groom figurine, it could represent the father/daughter dance too.

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Posted by HelenZ

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Posted by kismet8601

yes the Lenox one is beautiful but in all honesty I like the one you bought better. Its cute and very unique.

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thanks!!! I think I needed some reassurance after she bought me the Lenox one!

you know what I was just thinking......I want to have a small table with a picture of my dad and maybe our grandparents since they've all passed away.....maybe I could display the Lenox figurine on that table? I think it might be nice too since I won't be dancing w/ my dad, even though it's a bride/groom figurine, it could represent the father/daughter dance too.

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Helen, I love this idea!! I think its perfect to have it on the table w/the photos. The Kim Anderson one is adorable and you stick w/it.

awww...I am sorry you're dealing with this. The relationship can be a tricky one. You have to pick out things that you like, especially if it is for your wedding! Don't take the comments too much to heart. Smile and nod and then do whatever you want anyhow!

they are both really pretty but definitely go with the one YOU chose. Don't let her second guess yourself.

Personally, I wouldn't take my FMIL dress shopping. Nobody has seen my dress on me except my mom, grandma and sister. my FMIL asked me what my dress looked like (in front of FH) and got pissed that i wouldnt tell her!
FMILs are soo annoying!

go with whichever cake topper you love most. Maybe you can use both? Put Kim Anderson one tha YOU CHOSE on your cake, and put hers on a twinkie or something.
Its YOUR wedding....YOU make the decisions.

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Posted by AllJoy

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Posted by HelenZ

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Posted by kismet8601

yes the Lenox one is beautiful but in all honesty I like the one you bought better. Its cute and very unique.

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thanks!!! I think I needed some reassurance after she bought me the Lenox one!

you know what I was just thinking......I want to have a small table with a picture of my dad and maybe our grandparents since they've all passed away.....maybe I could display the Lenox figurine on that table? I think it might be nice too since I won't be dancing w/ my dad, even though it's a bride/groom figurine, it could represent the father/daughter dance too.

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Helen, I love this idea!! I think its perfect to have it on the table w/the photos. The Kim Anderson one is adorable and you stick w/it.

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thanks Joyce!! the more I think about it, the more I like this idea......at least then its being displayed in some way, I can't imagine her getting upset w/ me for that. Watch, she'll probably swap them during the reception and put hers on the cake table lol!!!

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Posted by jenn122397

they are both really pretty but definitely go with the one YOU chose. Don't let her second guess yourself.

Personally, I wouldn't take my FMIL dress shopping. Nobody has seen my dress on me except my mom, grandma and sister. my FMIL asked me what my dress looked like (in front of FH) and got pissed that i wouldnt tell her!
FMILs are soo annoying!

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thanks Jenn!! that's crazy that your FMIL was asking you in front of FH!!! Did she honestly think you would tell her? that must have been awkward!!

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Posted by Future Mrs.

go with whichever cake topper you love most. Maybe you can use both? Put Kim Anderson one tha YOU CHOSE on your cake, and put hers on a twinkie or something.
Its YOUR wedding....YOU make the decisions.

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a twinkie!!